Make a Choice

"The number you're trying to reach is busy at the moment, please try after sometime." 

No matter how many times I tried, it was all I got as a reply. It was getting on my nerves now but keeping my self-respect aside, I tried one last time but in vain. Agitated and frustrated, I texted him, "You're busy with her, right!" 

He replied in affirmation. "Baby! I have to talk to her. She's my client." 

"It's 11pm, Which business discussion is going on between you and her at this time?"

 "I'll talk to you tomorrow baby. Good night."

 "Pick up my call, I want to talk to you right now." 

I called but he was still busy. 

"Cut her call and call me right now."

No response. 

"It's enough now, You better decide between her and me. It's time you make a choice."

I kept staring at the screen for 15 minutes straight. Just then I heard a knock at my door. While entering the room my Mom said, "Yamini, Why haven't you done your dinner yet?" She looked at my face it was dull and gloomy. "What happened darling? You look sad. Everything ok?" 

"No Mom, I am not feeling good. I don't know what to do?" 

"Just give yourself some time dear, everything will be fine. Now go for dinner. And if you desire, go for a walk too. You'll feel good. Should I stay with you tonight?" 

"No mom, I'll be fine." 

Ok! I am going to my room. Let me know if you need me."

"Okay!"

 I went to the Kitchen. But it seemed like I would not be able to eat until everything was fine between him and me. So, I stepped out of the house and started moving along the pavement. It was all quiet and deserted. I thought mom was right. I was just being over suspicious. I should give him some time. After all, Photography is his profession, his passion, and he has to be in touch with the clients for better results. I shouldn't behave like a typical girlfriend rather I should be understanding. So, I finally decided to apologise to him. After walking about half a mile, I felt tired and sleepy and returned home. I picked up my phone to leave a sorry message. But I already had a reply from him. I was overjoyed. I read his text and my joy was turned into tears. He wrote, "I am done with you. I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Don't call me again. Good bye."

I was dumbstruck by those words. All my tiredness and sleepiness turned into anxiety and restlessness. I immediately called him but he didn't answer. I badly wanted to hear his voice from that side but no. He just didn't answer. Tears starting rolling out of my eyes. I texted him "Please talk to me once, before taking any decision. I am sorry for my behavior. Please"

"I won't be able to live without you"

"I really love you"

"Please Rohan, I beg, talk to me once"

I guess he was still busy with her and I didn't matter anymore to him. After so many failed attempts, I threw my phone away. I wanted to reach him right at that moment but I had to pass that night before confronting him. It was 12:30am. All my sleep had flown away. I sat on the floor, where I was standing, hugging my knees.

I was devastated, crying like a baby. I wanted to scream to the loudest of my vocals. I kept wondering why did he leave me for her. I blamed myself for, even after 6 years of relationship, being unable to make him realise how much I loved him. Dia is much better than me. She is a model; smart and bold. Any man can fall for her. The mistake is not his, but mine. I never came out of my engineering stuff. 

I stood up in front of the mirror. My eyes were red, swollen and in pain. He used to say I have got beautiful eyes, but now he must have changed his opinion. Dia is beautiful. She is even beyond compare. Ohh! How badly I wanted that night to pass soon.

 I sat on my sofa constantly gazing at the moving hand of the clock, 1:10-1:15-1:20. But the time seemed to have lowered it's pace by a hundred times. I tried to sleep but all the chaos going inside my head didn't let me. I was so broken, nothing was able to calm me. I started strolling in the room. 

It was 3 am now. I went to the window, the night was scary. The silence was shouting in my ears as this is how my life was going to be without him- 'dark' and 'silent'. I wanted to end my life at the moment but I had to confront him once. I shut the window and ran to my bed. 

I was in deep thought when suddenly my eyes got stuck on my family photo hanging right in front of me. It was taken at the time of Diwali. Me, Mom, Dad, Gaurav Bhaiya (brother) and my sweet sis Aarti- all in one frame. I realised that was my family. Those four people. My mom loves me the most, dad thinks I am the prettiest girl, bhaiya takes care of everything I need and aarti keeps all of my secrets. These people are my family and I was thinking of ending my life for someone who is not even in my family. He left me for a girl whom he had known hardly for two months.

 I did a lot for him. I didn't go to London with bhaiya for Master's just to stay near him. I lied to my parents. I supported him in his passion even when I myself didn't like it. I did everything with his consent. I was obedient to him like a slave but it didn't seem bad to me as I was in love or should i say blind in love. 

What did he do for me? He hid about Dia as well until one day I read their chat. Who texts his client love you sweetheart? To which he explained as he was just doing his business that requires him to be cordial with his clients. And being insane, I agreed on all his words. 

He never cared about my feelings, what I wanted from him. He took me for granted because I allowed him to do so. I now feel happy that he left me, else I would have never realised how much injustice I was doing to my life. It was about 4:35 am now. I was still lying on my bed wondering Why didn't I realise it earlier!

The sun had started filling the darkness of the night with its bright rays and so was the darkness of my life leaving. I was feeling light-hearted now. I felt like I have set myself free from a very old trap. As I couldn't sleep I went to bathroom and took a long shower for atleast 30 minutes. I was dancing and singing like I was celebrating my victory.

 I came out. It was 5:20am. I went to my mother. She had just woken up. I hugged her tight. She was surprised but she hugged me back. She asked why did I woke up so early (as usually I don't) I just said I love you mom. She replied with a bright smile. I came back to my room to finally have a sound sleep after a night full of reflections into my past. 

It must be around 8 o’clock in the morning, I heard my phone ringing. I stood up, took it out from under the sofa. It was Rohan. "Why is he calling me now! Everything is over between us."

But I wanted to hear what he has to say, so I picked it up. He started complaining why wasn't i picking his calls!

"You broke up with me last night."

"No I didn't. That message was for Dia not you but I unconsciously sent it to you."

"But you didn't replied to my calls and messages."

"Sorry love, I was so tired that I slept immediately without realising what blunder I have done."

"But you can't do this to me now"

I was perplexed. He did not leave me. That's what I wanted from him. But that sleepless night had touched me from within. It was my turn to make a choice. And I told him that I have chosen myself over him. And I disconnected the call.