Dead Boy Blues

I just ran over my dead ex-boyfriend with my Toyota Corolla.

Well, "ran over" is kind of inaccurate. More like my car passed through the ghost of my dead ex-boyfriend.

"Chris!" he shouts indignantly. Maybe if I run him over again, he'll go away. I throw my car in reverse.

"Chris, no, don't-"

It doesn't work. He's still standing there in his stupid leather jacket and motorcycle gloves, now looking significantly more grumpy than he did before. I roll down my window.

"What do you want? I have work in ten minutes," I holler at him. He scowls.

"I need your help," he grumbles. I raise an eyebrow.

"Can I have my amethyst ring back?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.

"I told you last month, I never had it!"

"Well, then, have fun being intangible," I start the car again, but there's a pop, and a puff of smoke, and the car dies. I glare at Moritz, who looks exceedingly pleased with himself.

"Dd you break my car?"

"I need your help."

"I have work"

"Call in sick. And then call a tow truck" he smiles pleasantly at me, and I remember why I broke up with him again.

"I'll kill you"

"It's a little late for that," he says dryly as I pull out my phone. Paige picks up on the first ring, her customer service voice on full display.

"Partridge Papers, how can I help you?"

"I'm sick,"

Paige's voice goes quiet, and I can hear the disbelief from the other end of the phone.

"You're sick," she says flatly. I cough feebly.

"Yup."

"Put your back into it," Moritz calls, and I flip him off.

"Oh look, I just...threw up," I make exaggerated gagging sounds, and Paige sighs. I can imagine her probing her forehead in exasperation.

"We just got the new grimoires in, and some newbie got cursed, so we're short staffed, and now you're sick?" Her voice is very critical, and I realize I'll be cleaning the bathroom for the rest of my life.

"Yup," I flip off Moritz again, who just gives me a thumbs up. Paige sighs.

"Fine. You better be dying"

"I wish I was dying," I tell her brightly, before hanging up and turning back to Moritz. "Why aren't you still dead?"

"I got a necromancer."

"You can't even afford your own place and you could afford a necromancer?" I ask dubiously, and Moritz winces.

"Well, I got the guy I was crashing with to do it. Let's just say he wasn't as...practiced as I'd like."

"So you were stupid." I say flatly, and Moritz shrugs.

"I prefer to say...frugal,"

"Moritz, remember what your grandma used to say? There's two things you pay full price for, mattresses and-"

"-Necromancy, I know," Moritz groans. I shake my head.

"I still don't know what you want me to do. I'm not a licensed necromancer."

"Well, uh, as you can see, I'm still here," Moritz points at his weird, ghostly, unfairly nice body. "I just need someone to put me back into my body, and I thought, hey, Chris is nice and smart, which I find very sexy, by the way, and he could help us put me back?" his voice turns up into a question at the end. I groan as loud as I can, just to get all of my bad feelings out of my body. Unfortunately, catharsis doesn't seem to be working right now.

"Were you fucking your Walmart necromancer?" I ask wearily, and Moritz smirks at me, flipping back his dark hair like he's in some sort of commercial for overpriced and stanky shampoo.

"Jealous?"

"No," I growl, ignoring the contradictory pang in my heart "You idiot. You can't be personally connected to your necromancer. It causes issues, as you can clearly see."

"So, I'm not alive again because-"

"You're a manwhore," I tell him bluntly. "Luckily, I know a guy who can probably fix you."

"You're my favorite person to ever exist," Moritz gushes, "You are very sexy, by the way, have I mentioned that? When I get my body back, I'm going to rail you-"

"That's enough of that," I blush slightly at the unholy thoughts and push them away with a scowl. "Now, help me fix my car so we can go."

Winthrop's apartment is a mess, like always, because med students are gross and live in cesspools of stress and constant anxiety. Luckily for me, Winthrop himself is both at home and awake at the same time when I break into his house.

"Hey, Chris," he says, the bags under his eyes dark as he shoves cold instant noodles into his mouth. He has a massive textbook perched on his table, and riffles through it, not even looking up as I open the door.

"Do you pick the locks of all your friends' houses?" Moritz asks, and I go to elbow him, but my arm passes right through his body. Winthrop looks up.

"Who's this?" he asks, blinking through his large glasses like an owl. I roll my eyes.

"Moritz. He's dead. Botched back alley necromancy. Can you put him back in his body?" I ask, keeping everything as hush-hush as possible. Winthrop adjusts his glasses.

"Dead ex-boyfriend Moritz?"

"Can you fix it or not?"

"Yeah," he says mildly, "I can. What's in it for me?"

"A lifetime of friendship?

"I already had that," Winthrop teases.

"70% off any energy potion you want from the shop for the rest of your life?" I try and he shrugs.

"Throw in a batch of Paige's lemon bars and we have a deal. Get him to lie down on the couch."

"We're fixing my botched back alley necromancy with another back alley necromancy?" Moritz whispers as Winthrop shuffles around his apartment setting things up. I kick my way through the debris littering the floor.

"Well, unless you have a hundred grand, or a doctor hidden in your attic, I'll take my chances with Winthrop. At least he goes to med school."

It takes about fifteen minutes to unearth the couch from underneath the old pizza boxes and dead houseplants. Moritz lies down on it, and I see him try to hide the nervousness on his face. I've never seen him look like this, his two moods are usually Fuckboy and Emotional Repression. But now, he looks...scared.

"Hey," I try and grab his hand, but my fingers pass through his. His throat bobs, and he lets his fingers rest in mine, the cold tickle of them shocking me every few seconds.

"What if...what if I don't wake up?" he whispers, and I smile at him.

"You will. Winthrop knows what he's doing." I look over at the older man, who leafs through a crusty looking book with furrowed brows as he chants something under his breath. "Yeah." I decide, "We've got you"

"If he doesn't, I..." Moritz shifts, and his hand is cold in mine, "I wanted to tell you-"

"Tell me after," I lean in closer, so only he can hear me. "And uh...I was...sad. When you died. I even cried a lot. So don't do it again, okay?"

"You were sad?" Moritz looks up at me with shining eyes and I shrug.

"Yeah, I mean...I really liked you. Even if you were cocky and stupid and left your dirty socks on the bed. I still liked you."

"Alright, Moritz, close your eyes and imagine your body," Winthrop interrupts, businesslike. Moritz complies, settling as he closes his eyes. I withdraw my hand as Winthrop begins chanting louder, biting my nails as Moritz begins shaking, fading slowly from sight. My stomach clenches as he fades away completely. I automatically catch Winthrop as he collapses, still staring at the place Moritz was.

"Did it...work?" I ask the second Winthrop wriggles back into consciousness in my arms. He groans and rubs his eyes.

"I'm top of my class at the best medical school in the country," he groans feebly.

"That's not an answer," I snap, setting him down onto the carpeted floor. He shrugs, flopping over and closing his eyes.

"We'll see."

I boil tea for Winthrop, slipping in equal amounts of whiskey and a replenishing draught I found in his spice cabinet. I just take a neat shot of whiskey to calm my nerves, but it barely works.

The door bangs open twenty minutes later, almost causing Winthrop to drop his tea. Moritz is there, shivering violently, his lips blue and skin white. He stumbles in with a groan, and I catch him, heart hammering against my chest with relief as we collapse to the floor in a pile of limbs.

"You're freezing," I say, bringing him closer and wrapping my arms around him as Winthrop scrambles to reheat the tea and get blankets. He's shivering so hard I can hear his teeth clacking together.

"Had...Jorge...k-k-k-keep me in the f-f-f-freezer," Moritz huffs as I push cold black hair away of his brown eyes. "Keep m-m-m-me not d-d-decomp-p-p-posing."

"I'm glad you're not a complete idiot," I scold lightly as Winthrop drapes a blanket over Moritz and I, then another, "You could have waited until you were warm before coming over, though."

Moritz shakes his head. "D-d-didn't want to w-w-worry y-you," he gasps, and I smile slightly.

"I wasn't worried,"

"Liar," Winthrop mutters as he sips his whiskied tea. I glare at him and he just smiles blandly back. Moritz laughs, and I smile at the sound. It's good to feel him in my arms again, with a beating heart and limbs I can actually touch.

"What did you want to tell me, again?" I ask him.

"That I..uh..." Moritz looks away, the barest blush coloring his face, and I poke him lightly.

"What?"

"I drowned trying to find your ring," he blurts out, "Because I threw it in the lake after you broke up with me and I wanted to find it for you because..."

"Because..."

"What, you want me to say it?" Moritz grouses, and I nod. He sighs, burrowing into my arms as his shivers begin to subside. "I missed you, Chris. I wanted you back."

He looks up into my eyes and I look back into them with a straight face. Eventually, he has enough.

"It's stupid." he grumbles, looking away, "You probably already have a new, crazy hot boyfriend who actually treats you like you deserve. Just let me up, I'll go, I'm sorry I made this weird-"

"I miss you, too"

Moritz isn't usually speechless, but his mouth opens and shuts without a sound. I smile down at him. He's an idiot, but he's my idiot. Gently, I grip his face, leaning down to press a kiss to those blue lips. He kisses back eagerly, even going so far as to chase my lips as we separate.

"You're stupid," I tell him, and he pouts.

"My lips are still cold," he whines, "Can you warm them up for me?"

I oblige.

"I'm glad you're not dead," I whisper. He grins back.

"I'm glad, too. Now I can make good on my earlier promise."

"If you two fuck on the floor of my apartment," the judgement in Winthrop's voice is scathing, "I will kill you dead for good. I have midterms next week."

Moritz's laugh is much better when he's actually tangible.