The First Kiss

Jenny

The monitors beep around me. I can't see anything, but I hear voices. Crying. I hear crying. I struggle to open my eyes, but they are glued shut. I can hear my parents. I feel like I'm drowning in my own body. I try to lift my arm, to say “Hey! I’m right here!” but my arm feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. I think back to how I even got here in the first place. And then I remember. We were in his car, driving home. I was looking at him, as he kept his eyes fixated on the road in front of us. “I had a great time with you.” I tried not to sound awkward but the butterflies in my stomach made me feel like I was going to explode. He looked at me for a brief moment, smiling, and I fell in love with him all over again. His brown freckles, brown eyes, brown hair. The first time I saw him was in 6th grade. We were partners for a project. We started sitting next to each other at lunch because we “had to work on our project”, but even after we finished it, we still sat together. We were best friends for 5 years. I never thought of him any more than a friend. He always made me laugh. He had a girlfriend that he loved. He would talk about her to me, and ask for advice on what kind of things girls liked so he could make her happy. Then they broke up. He was devastated and so terribly heartbroken, he didn't even want to talk to me, his best friend. I didn't see him all summer. And when school started, we became friends again, but in a different kind of way. I realized I was crushing on him terribly. From that moment, I knew I wanted him to be my first kiss. We were wandering around town at night, watching the passing cars covered in snow, talking about our futures. He bought us some chips and soda, and we laughed under the fluorescent signs above stores, snow crunching beneath our boots. Then we drove home. 

Daniel

She looked so pretty. I loved being with her. After I broke up with my girlfriend, I realized that she was always there for me. That's when I started liking her as more than a friend. I was truly in love with her, though I kind of tried to hide it. I didn't know if dating her would ruin our friendship. But I realized right there and then, that if I didn't take a chance, I might never be with her. “I had a great time with you,” she said. I looked at her and smiled. I didn't know how to say that ever since I broke up with my girlfriend, I found comfort in her eyes. She was the only thing that made me happy. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and I can't hide my feelings for her anymore. I just didn't know how. “Jenny-” I blurted out. She looked at me. Oh my gosh, I can't do it. “Jenny, I...had a lot of fun with you tonight.”  GOSH. I need to tell her my feelings, but I can't get it out of me. The stoplight up ahead turns red. “I did too, Daniel. Want to hang out again on… Thursday night?” I stopped at the red light, taking a deep breath. Now's the time. It's now or never. You gotta tell her how you feel. “Jenny, I like you”. I looked straight ahead, afraid to look her in the eye. She was quiet. I felt like I messed up completely. “Really?” she asked quietly. I looked at her. “Yeah” I said slowly.  “For a long time.” She looked in my eyes. “ Same!” WHAT? FOR REAL? I was shocked. “Wait , really??” “Yeah,” she blushed, looking down. I'm gonna kiss her. If I like her, and she likes me, can we kiss? I mean, I had a peppermint candy while we were outside, so I don't think my breath stinks...or does it?. The light turned green. The car lurched forward.

Jenny

I can't believe he likes me! Like, actually likes me to the point where he confessed his feelings for me! I stared at the cars in front of us, afraid to look at him. I think this is the part where we kiss. I would finally get to have my first kiss! I looked at him again. Are my lips crusty? Does my breath stink? Just as we were rounding the turn, one of the cars in front of us twirled on the slippery road, crashing into the car behind it. Just like dominoes, cars started crashing into one another. Daniel twisted the steering wheel as quick as he could. I could hear myself screaming as I saw the car in front of us fly up, into us. Everything happened so quickly. I felt the sharpest pain ever spread to my body. Daniel's scream echoed in my ears before everything turned black.

Daniel

I open my eyes. The white lights blinded me. There are doctors all around me. My sobbing mother is clutching my hand. She finally opens her eyes. “Oh Daniel, you're awake! I love you so much”, she says through her tears. She tries to hug me, but the doctors stop her. “Ma'am, your son needs time to heal”. “Oh, of course, “ she says tearily, and sits back down, still holding my hand. I look at her pale face. “What happened, Mom?” She freezes. “Daniel-” she looks down, then faces me again “you got hit by a car. But don't worry Danny, the doctors said you'll be fine, thank God. You have a broken arm, but it'll heal. You just have to have some rest.” And then I remember. “Mom, where's Jenny?” She widens her eyes, and turns away. “Perhaps you want some water, son?” she asked quickly. She was avoiding my question. My heart started beating faster. “Mom?” She turned to the doctors. “Can my son have some tea?” “Mom where's Jenny?!“ I start to push myself up, and doctors rush to my side “Daniel,” the doctor said, gently pushing me back down. “You need to rest”. “Where's Jenny?!” Tears threaten to burst out of my eyes. The doctor looks at mom with a serious face. He nods at her, and she turns to me. Her worried face makes my heart beat ten thousand times faster. “Daniel” She fiddles with her hands and looks down. “You guys got hit by two cars. One from the front and…” She looks at the doctor, then at me. “..one from the passengers side. Jenny's side.” Her voice was quivering. “And is she okay, Mom?” I asked impatiently. She took a deep breath. “Jenny was injured very badly. They...don't think she'll survive, Danny. She has many broken bones, and suffered a nasty injury to the head”. My heart drops. I look away. I don't think I can hold in my tears. How is it that one second we confessed our feelings for each 'other, and the next, we were in this brightly lit hospital room, possibly dying? She started crying again. “I want to see her, mom”. She shakes her head. “No, Danny, I'm afraid you can't. She's in critical condition.” I cant hold it any longer. I start sobbing uncontrollably. It's all my fault. 

Jenny

I'm completely numb. It feels, almost peaceful. Is this what dying feels like? But I can't die. I haven't had my first kiss. I haven't kissed Daniel. I haven't even graduated high school yet! Where is he? Why isn't he here? I can hear doctors talking all around me, and mom and dad crying. I struggle to make out what they're saying. “Critical...survive….don't know….broken” But I don't hear Daniel. Is he okay? I wonder if he's looking at me right now. Hopefully my hair looks good. I still have to kiss him. Can I just wake up? I feel claustrophobic in my own body. Beeping machines that surround me get louder. A smooth wave of calmness suddenly rushes over me. I breathe in deep. I imagine holding hands with Daniel, walking along the shore of a beach, the wind in our hair. He's making me laugh again. I cup my hands around his face and pull him close. I was finally on the verge of achieving my dream: having my first kiss. I know I'm in a dream right now, but I just want to be with Daniel, even if it's only in my head. Just as we are about to kiss, the wind picks up, and I float away into the sky,  as the sounds of beeping monitors getting faster and louder fills the air. I look down at Daniel from the clouds, and he reaches out his hand to me, screaming “No! Don't go!” I suddenly don't feel so peaceful anymore, and I try to float my way back to him, but I'm quickly losing energy. “Daniel!” I yell, voice hoarse. “Daniel, I love you!” From up here, I can't see his beautiful face, but I can hear his sobbing. “I love you too, Jenny!” He falls to his knees, his body moving with each sob. “I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Jenny.” I want to tell him it's not his fault, that he shouldn't beat himself up for this. But I feel so tired. I look at him once again, before I float away, higher and higher, until I can't see him anymore. I feel overwhelmingly tired. I can still hear the faint yelling of doctors, the alarms, the screeching machines. They're giving me a headache. I close my eyes, and sleep.