50 comments

Suspense Crime Fiction

I would have never thought that Oliver would end up where he was today.

The smart boy who never overstepped any boundaries, who always greeted me and my wife when we ran into each other at the grocery store, who went on laundry runs for the neighbours, who brought back chocolates for the kids, wasn’t supposed to end up in an interrogation room.

His sunken eyes look at me through the half-open door, and I’m compelled to enter and get him out.

But I can’t.

I must not let emotions get in the way.

Not being a police officer has its pros and cons.

Its pros being that I still have feelings, and its cons being the same thing.

If I were a cop, I would be able to walk past the room without even feeling a sliver of pity or guilt.

But I’m not a cop.

So that means that I’m still human.

I haven’t been trained to be impervious to the guilty.

I thought I was, but clearly, I’m not.

******

Officer Johnson sends me the audio file of Oliver’s interrogation.

I put on my headphones, and press play.

“State your name and age for the record,” Johnson’s gruff voice says.

“Oliver Mendoza. I’m seventeen.”

“On the twentieth of December at two minutes past midnight, Damian White was found dead on the Rovian Bridge. You, Oliver Mendoza, called the police and was found at the crime scene with Damian’s blood on your hands. Do you agree with the events that I have just stated?”

“Yes sir, I do,” Oliver says, a hint of nervousness detectable in his voice.

“Son, what was your relationship with Damian?”

“There wasn’t any.”

“What did you think of him then?”

“I hated the guy. Overly cocky, always drunk or on drugs of some sort. All the girls love – loved him though.”

“Did you have a personal enmity with him?”

“I –”

He pauses.

“You want some water?”

A gulp.

“Oliver, did you have a personal enmity with Damian?”

“He raped my girlfriend.”

“And your girlfriend is?”

He clearly hesitates.

“It’s okay son, nothing’s going to happen to her. We just want to know her name.”

“Pen – Penelope Dawson.”

“Penelope is Robert Dawson’s daughter, yes?”

“Yes sir, the same.”

“Did you call her after finding Damian there?”

“No, I didn’t. She wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“I’ll get straight to the point then, son. Did you or did you not kill Damian White?”

Another pause.

“Oliver.”

“Did you kill him?”

“I did.”

******

“Damian White was found dead at twelve-oh-two on Friday, the twentieth of December on the Rovian Bridge.”

I wince after saying this.

“Oliver Mendoza was found with Damian’s blood on his hands at the crime scene, having called the police.”

“Mendoza has confessed to killing White, his motive being that his girlfriend Penelope Dawson had been sexually assaulted by White.”

“I got to hand it to the kid, he sure is protective of his girlfriend.”

“I don’t however think that killing is the way to go about it.”

“Maybe if she had reported the assault…”

The officers talk amongst each other, while I sit down on the chair.

Oliver confessed.

This is a closed case in the eyes of the cops, and they’re just waiting for White’s autopsy to come through to indeed confirm that Oliver had hit him on the back of the head and had knocked him out.

I almost get a head rush when I suddenly stand up.

The room goes quiet.

“Johnson. The murder weapon. Where is it?”

“Oliver said that he got so scared after killing him that he threw the weapon in a nearby bush.”

“Did you find it?”

“No sir, we didn’t.”

“Then this case isn’t closed yet.”

“But sir, Oliver had the motive, he was at the crime scene with the victim’s blood on his hands. Most importantly, he has confessed to murdering Damian.”

“That isn’t enough. Find the weapon. Until we can trace the entire incident from start to finish with no loopholes, this case is very much still open.”

I move to leave the room but then remember.

“Also, Officer, bring in Penelope Dawson.”

******

This time, I sit in the interrogation room with Johnson as he talks to Penelope.

“Where were you that night?”

“At home.”

“Anyone to vouch for that?”

“Oliver himself. We went on a date that evening. He dropped me off at my house.”

“When did you find out about the crime?”

“That same night, at around twelve. My parents told me when it came on the news.”

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about this and you don’t need to answer if you’re not comfortable. But this will really help your boyfriend get some heat off him. Penelope, did Damian White sexually assault you?”

She pushes her jet-black hair out of her eyes, and I see they’re bloodshot.

Picking up the glass of water in front of her, she gulps it up nervously.

“Yes, he – he raped me.”

“When?”

“Does it matter?” she lashes out.

“He violated me. He forced himself on me. He didn’t care whether I wanted to. He didn’t care if I had a boyfriend. He only cared about his own pleasure. I don’t see why him being dead is such a bad thing. He’s a criminal. And criminals deserve to die.”

She takes another sip.

Johnson and I look at each other, shocked.

Penelope seemed unfazed, almost happy that Damian was dead.

It makes sense, but you would think that she would be a little more shaken up.

But she seems fine.

“Your boyfriend has confessed to murdering him. Anything you would like to say about that?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Oliver never lies.”

******

“We found the murder weapon sir.”

“You did?”

“Yes sir, it was in the backyard of Oliver’s house.”

I purse my lips.

“Check for fingerprints.”

“Yes sir, we did.”

“Whose was it?”

“Oliver.”

That’s it.

I can’t fight for this boy anymore.

“Send an arrest warrant.”

******

That young boy is going to jail.

I feel sorry for that poor girl.

Her unfazed nature during the interrogation still bugged me.

Something about it seemed off.

Suddenly, something she said comes to mind.

“That same night, at around twelve. My parents told me when it came on the news.”

“No, I didn’t. She wouldn’t be able to take it.”

“Oliver’s and an unidentifiable one…”

Her calm face. Her bloodshot eyes.

Almost as if she had swallowed her alibi.

I call up Johnson, and he answers, sounding like he just woke up.

“Yes sir.”

“Johnson. White’s murder happened at around midnight. Correct?”

“Yes sir, twelve-oh-two.”

“When approximately did the news stations pick up on the news?”

“The first report came at around six.”

“Sir?”

“Never mind. One more thing, you have accessed Oliver’s phone records, right?”

“Yes sir.”

“You can confirm that Oliver didn’t call his girlfriend that night, right?”

“Affirmative sir.”

“Johnson.”

“Sir?”

“Check the murder weapon again for fingerprints. I think you’ll find someone else’s also on it.”

“Yes sir, we did. It didn’t seem important to mention, but there were other fingerprints too, but they were too faded to trace.”

“Try it again. You’ll find that it matches the real murderer’s fingerprints.”

“What sir?”

“Oliver is innocent.”

“The real murderer was ready to put the blame on someone else. Oliver would go to any lengths to protect the people he loves. She knew about his death before anyone else did, even though he didn't tell her. And she seemed too calm for a girl whose rapist had just died.”

“You mean that…”

“Yes, Johnson. Penelope did it.”

******

December 18, 2020 16:02

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50 comments

This story felt really interesting and the way you added that mysterious touch to it is just amazing!

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Writer Maniac
15:23 Dec 25, 2020

Thank you so much, your comments really mean a lot!

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Aww, thank you!

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Estelle Westley
05:52 Dec 19, 2020

I love your writing style. Easy to read and the story beautifully told.

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Writer Maniac
05:54 Dec 19, 2020

Thank you so much for reading it, I really appreciate the comment! Could you please fill the form in my bio, as it really will help me!

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03:32 Dec 19, 2020

Hi, your story is smooth and convincing. It had fuss in it...Altogether it was awesome and simple. I posted my second story and I did try to imply all the critics you gave me. I tried... Could you please review my story?

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Writer Maniac
04:25 Dec 19, 2020

Thank you so much for reading the story, it means a lot! I'll read your latest story and leave a comment whenever I get time :)

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04:26 Dec 19, 2020

Thank You so much :)

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Cassandra Durnin
16:22 Dec 18, 2020

You manage to carry a simply casual eloquence throughout this piece, and I love that.

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Writer Maniac
17:02 Dec 18, 2020

Thank you so much for that, I really appreciate it!

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Writer Maniac
01:53 Dec 19, 2020

Also, could you please fill the form in my bio?

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Writer Maniac
01:57 Dec 19, 2020

Oh wait, you already have! Thank you so much!

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12:12 Apr 21, 2021

Good story, really well written, a little mystery and excitement made it good.

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Writer Maniac
12:24 Apr 21, 2021

Thank you, would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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Ro Gardje
16:00 Apr 20, 2021

Hey, a really nice elegantly written story. I guessed who was the murdered in the beginning but it was still delivered in such a nice way, that I wanted to read all of it. I only recently joined the platform and have just shared two stories. I would be really grateful if you could give me some feedback on them when you have some time. I love all the diversity here! Keep up the great work!

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Writer Maniac
16:24 Apr 20, 2021

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I'll check out your stories soon! Could you please leave some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not'?

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Aaina Aleszezyk
12:04 Dec 26, 2020

I'm so glad I read your story!!!! I'm in love with your writing style. Please read one of my stories and review them. Thank you in advance.

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Writer Maniac
12:12 Dec 26, 2020

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I will definitely check out a story of yours! Also, could you please read my story 'Game Over'? It's a story I'm really proud of, so I would love to know your thoughts on it :)

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Aaina Aleszezyk
12:16 Dec 26, 2020

Oh, I would love to read your story.

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Amel Parvez
18:15 Dec 23, 2020

i just loved the way you wrote this story. and yeah the story was amazing too and then the twist in the end. FABULOUS!

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Writer Maniac
01:50 Dec 24, 2020

Thank you so much for reading it, I'm so glad you liked it!

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Amel Parvez
09:50 Dec 24, 2020

You are welcome 💜

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Pamela Berglund
21:56 Dec 20, 2020

Good story and quite dramatic. I would have liked the story to be longer.

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Writer Maniac
01:45 Dec 21, 2020

Thank you so much for your comment, really appreciate it! I would have made it longer, if the word limit gave me enough to work with it

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Writer Maniac
12:30 Dec 21, 2020

Could you please fill the form in my bio, it would be of great help to me :)

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Pamela Berglund
15:15 Dec 24, 2020

how do I do that

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Writer Maniac
15:35 Dec 24, 2020

The link is in my bio, just copy and paste it on your search bar.

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Pamela Berglund
15:15 Dec 24, 2020

how do I do that

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Pamela Berglund
15:15 Dec 24, 2020

how do I do that

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Keya Jadav
11:43 Jul 04, 2021

Woah...now that's a good story. Best one. Great work.

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Writer Maniac
14:24 Jul 04, 2021

Thank you :)

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Laxmi Sahani
17:19 Jun 16, 2021

Simple and perfect!

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Writer Maniac
03:15 Jun 17, 2021

Thank you!

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Writer Maniac
03:22 Jun 17, 2021

Could you please upvote me? I'm trying to get back to my original number of points (6110)

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Pam Patola
06:22 May 08, 2021

Love it .. I keep reading your stories and it gives me inspiration to write this kind of genre.. keep the good work.

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Writer Maniac
06:31 May 08, 2021

Thank you! I would love some feedback on 'Forget-Me-Not' :)

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Bianka Nova
18:05 Dec 20, 2020

Simple and easy to read. It's nice how you based most of it on dialogue. I have a question. If the narrator is not a cop, who is he? :)

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Writer Maniac
12:30 Dec 21, 2020

Could you please fill the form in my bio, it would be of great help to me :)

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Bianka Nova
14:54 Dec 21, 2020

My answers won't help you at all. I'm pretty much your average modern white European woman :) And I prefer to stay anonymous, because at least this makes me slightly more interesting XD

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Writer Maniac
15:02 Dec 21, 2020

No one is the same, your answers would definitely help, but if you prefer to remain anonymous I respect that, it's totally up to you :)

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Writer Maniac
01:47 Dec 21, 2020

Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it! The narrator is a detective, as mentioned in the prompt.

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Carille Durbin
17:55 Dec 19, 2020

Great story!

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Writer Maniac
01:52 Dec 20, 2020

Thank you!

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Writer Maniac
12:29 Dec 21, 2020

Could you please fill the form in my bio, it would be of great help to me :)

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Nainika Gupta
16:18 Dec 18, 2020

The details! The imagery! The....awesomeness of this story!! I really enjoyed this and was hooked from the very first sentence!! Just a small thing to fix since I saw you like comments! "The smart boy who never overstepped any boundaries, who always greeted me and my wife" I would change it to my wife and I, for passive voice (i think that's what its called - I'm not an expert :) That's really all I saw!! Awesome job :)

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Writer Maniac
17:04 Dec 18, 2020

Aww, I appreciate it! Thank you so much for the comment, it does mean a lot to me! Your correction makes sense, lemme read it again with a clear head and change it if I think it sounds better! Thank you once again :)

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Nainika Gupta
17:05 Dec 18, 2020

No problem!! Have an amazing [insert time of day for you]!!!

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Writer Maniac
17:05 Dec 18, 2020

Aww you're really sweet! Same to you!

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