A Fairy’s Culinary Adventure

                                A Fairy’s Culinary Adventure 

     Once upon a time in a small up in Lynchburg, Va., there lived a little girl named Suzie who loved to cook.  She was always a tremendous help to her mom since she enjoyed helping her with meals.  Needless to say, both of them made sure that their daddy was well fed, but nothing she made was high in calories which meant he could eat anything she made, even though he was slightly overweight.  The amazing thing about it was her mom didn’t like to prepare meals, so it was definitely not a hereditary trait.  Nobody knew where it came from.

     Then came the day while Suzie’s mom had to be a hostess for some meeting with all the P. T. A. member’s in her 5th grade class.   When she got home, she told Suzie that her home-eche teacher, which was Suzie’s favorite subject, was going to have a baking contest.  Suzie was delighted to hear about that, although she’d never made anything original, everything was always either from her mom or in one of the cook books she was always getting from various places.  Suzie asked her mom for some suggestions but she shook her head, frowned and told her it was her assignment, she had to think up her own recipe in her home ec class in school since that was the only class she actually enjoyed so it was important that she got an A.  The problem was her mind had drawn a blank about coming up with a new kind of concoction of her own.  She was racking her brain while trying to think of some kind new dish which would taste great without being too high in calories, but no thoughts would come to her which was really frustrating.  Since it was getting late, her mom suggested that she give her brain a break and just sleep on it, although since she was such a strong Christian, she had a lot of faith in prayer.  Still, her mom was quite insistent that she go to bed because it would help her to rest her weary brain cells which had been working overtime trying to come up with the food which would guarantee her an A in the class.

     That night after her mom had finished tucking her into bed and saying her nightly prayers, Suzie asked her again to give her some suggestions about what food to prepare, but got no response.  Yet when she finished praying and said, “amen,” she shut her eyes to get some sleep, but that’s when she heard something opening her window.  The strange thing was there were no ways anything could have been there because her bedroom was on the third floor of her house.  Then she heard the window slowly opening which scared her because nothing should have been up  that high on the outside.  She tried to pray for Jahove Neasy, Who she’d learned in her Pentecostal Church Sunday school class, was her Protector.  She didn’t have time to finish it because the thing came into her room and perched at the head of her bed.  Suzie opened her mouth to scream since she thought it was somebody who was trying to come through to get her, but when she opened her mouth, no sound would come out.  She figured the new guest who was in her room had done something to keep her from screaming, or even making any sounds.  Then the little creature began to grow right there in front of her eyes.   That’s when she noticed it was a lady who was about 8 inches-tall with wings flying over towards her bed.  When the pixie smiled, Suzie smiled back because she felt it wouldn’t harm her.  Then the creature said, “Don’t be afraid, Suzie, I’ve come to help you.  Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Angelle, like Angelle-The-Angel is what they call me back home.  I’m here to help you.  You need some help to come up with an ingredient for your dessert I gave you.”

    Suzie was smiling, but she was still speechless.  Her Sunday school teacher told her about angels who visited people on Earth such as Jacob, Moses, Abraham, Zachariah, and other mysterious events like those throughout the Old and New Testament.

      “Well, said Suzie with confidence,” I could use some help with my cooking class. “Say no more, Suzie,” the angel said, “I know what you need.  For your dish, let’s make a Heavenly dessert. You like fruit and coconut flakes,chocolate, and lemon.  Let’s combine them to make the best cake in your class.”

     That was a good idea so Suzie listened as her new companion gave her the ingredients.  “That’s nice, but how many minutes should I bake it for?  My mom hasn’t even taught me how to work our oven.”

     The angel’s smile got bigger. “You just get the eggs, flour, fruit, cake mix and icing and leave the rest to me.”

     While Suzie watched carefully, the angel waved her magic wand and all the ingredients went flashing in front of her eyes.  3 seconds later all the motion stopped.  When the fairy spread her arms apart over her head, instantly a beautiful cake appeared right in front of her.  The aroma of coconut, wild berries, pineapple, bananas, chocolate, and many other scents of fruit that Suzie could have never thought tasted good combined.  As she observed all the ingredients magically coming together in some pan in front of her.  A bright light flashed over the amazing concoction and 3 seconds later, the container with all those ingredients were baked and frosted.  It even had some cherries set across the top of it, making the most beautiful cake she’d ever seen. Still, Suzie was so amazed by how the beautiful concoction had turned out, all she could do was laugh, partly because of the utter joy it brought her over something that was sure to be the best cake out of everybody in the class.  Then she brought it downstairs to show her mom, who was so tickled at the beauty of that lovely cake her own daughter had made. Ironically, she happened to be the boss at a bakery in town, but she told Suzie she’d never seen such an awesome-looking cake so she left it on the counter beside the refrigerator so nothing would happen to the beautiful concoction that was actually fairy-made.

     Suzie’s daddy worked second in the plant which he was the administrator of, only his schedule varied.  On that day he worked from 10 p. m. until 6:00 a. .m.  He came in after a really trying, exhausting day of working and hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast, or dinner the night before. Naturally, he was starving since he’ worked up a right healthy appetite and he was so weary he didn’t feel like fixing a decent meal so he opened the refrigerator and there was the beautiful cake sitting there on the top shelf, which was so inviting he smiled and cut a right large piece out of it.  When Suzie heard him shut the door, she ran downstairs, just in time to see her daddy finishing the last bite of that beautiful cake, which had just been ruined.  “Sorry about eating a piece of my cake before you put the candles on it, but I was so starving I couldn’t wait.  Thank you for making that beautiful thing for my Birthday, even though it’s not for another 8 weeks!”

     He expected to see a big prideful smile come across the face of Suzie.  Instead, she let out a scream that would curl anybody’s toenails with the shrieking, high-pitched voice that came from his daughter’s mouth.  Then she ran out of the kitchen, sobbing bitterly.

    His wife came running down the steps to see what all the screaming was about.  She saw Suzie run into her room, sobbing and crying out in agony as if she was being torchered.  That made her begin bawling the same way his daughter was doing.  Suzie’s daddy didn’t know why his wife and daughter were sobbing so bitterly, especially since he thought the cake was for him.  When his wife finally stopped sobbing, she explained what he had done to Suzie’s homework assignment.  Then she left the room, also sobbing uncontrollably.  That made Suzie’s daddy feel worse than he had ever felt in his entire life.  The whole household was crying and since there were no words that could make any difference, they all went to bed, crying themselves to sleep.

     Yet around 3:00 a. m. while everybody else was sleeping, angelle flew under the doorway.  When she was in the house, she flew up to the refrigerator and pulled out all the ingredients needed to make the perfect cherry-pumpkin-banana cream-chocolate pie.  Since she was so magical, all she had to do was wave her magic wand and, poof! There was a whole, beautifully  frost- ed, pie on the table. Then she added a really unique ingredient, it was some magical pixie dust.  It was sprinkled all over the pie.  Before she flew off, she looked at the already gorgeous pie.  To make it even better she made it twinkle when a little bit of light showed on it.  Then she smiled at her accomplishment and flew away, having the satisfaction of a job well-done, which is the thing most fairy’s get.   The missing ingredient it needed just happened to be the pixie dust.

     Angela woke up before any of her other family members.  As she went to the refrigerator to get out some milk to pour on her cereal,  there was the most beautiful-looking pie she’d ever seen on the bottom shelf.  The pie was definitely the most gorgeous-looking pie she had ever seen in her life.  When her mom came down later, she was a little irritated at her for already making the pie without asking for help, but when her mom told her she didn’t have any idea where the pie had come from.  Yet it was so beautiful she entered it in the baking contest and won it.  The first prize was $20,000.00, which was more than enough to satisfy them and not only that, but each time they got low on money, the pixie magically put some more in its place.  She kept doing that the rest of her time on planet Earth and so, as the 

greatest stories of all time will officially finish up with,

“THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!!!”

     The end.

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     Please call me sometime, or call me, “Cuz.”  That would turn my mouth from an n shape into a u shape.  In other words, the corners would point north insead of south since it would work on my risorius, zygomaticus major and minor muscles which are used to laugh.  Let’s praise the Lord for Alexander Graham Bell-skee who was the first telephone, “Pole.”  Remember, the best ways to spread news across the whole world are by telephone, telegraph and, “tell-a-woman.”   Please give me a ring when you have the time, but I’m not proposing, rather cause my phone to play that beautiful one-note melody which would be pure music-to-my-esars. I have no friends or family so my phone just makes giraffe noises, (they’re the only animals that make no sound), so if you hear nothing, a giraffe could be behind you.  Also the name Roye comes from the French word for King, which is where Royal derived from.  In Keltic it means, (get this), “red-hair.”  My mom didn’t know that when she hatched me out of that woodpecker’s egg which is why I’m a, “bird-brain,” and is why I’m so, “Cheep!” with my money.  Still, hopefully, “my-great” sense of humor isn't, “robin’ “ you of any laughter.  Crows give me, “Kaw!”s to be happy, but to make people laugh is my, “cardinal” rule.  Hopefully this story hasn’t, “scrambled” your brains too much since I made them up, “setting” on my front, “poach” which is, “ ‘egg’-zactly” where many thoughts come to me.  “Omlet” ing you know that writing this story sure has, “scrambled” my brain trying to come up with these thoughts since they do not come, “over-easy.”  Hopefully reading this document didn't “scramble” your brains too much, and my jokes made you, “crack”-up.  “O'm-let” tiing 

you know I would feel extremely terrible if my sense of humor made you want to, “chick-in” to a mental hospital or an insane asylum for that would make me feel especially, “down.”  Yet when any sort of problems try to come my way, I always, “duck,” except for those that are caused by my friend, “Bob White” who’s a, “Kaw!” casinon although his sense of humor does kind of, “crow” on you.  Still, when my brother, Will’s 4 year-old daughter does things she knows are wrong in the first place, people will always yell, “ ‘Whip ‘er, Will! “ until she gets, “sore.”  When that happens there’s nothing to do but, “prey” she won’t repeat the same mistake over and over again, which is another thing we all need to, “prey” about.  When they do that, just about everybody concerned will get excited which means none of those people would have any reason to be the slightest bit, “bird.”  My sister, Gale, loves to party so long as it takes place in the afternoon since she is most definitely not what could be considered a, “nighing-’Gale’ ” so she, “wren” straight home since that girl really can, “fly” when she has to unless somebody tells her to shut her, “beek.”  It’s not polite to laugh at somebody but it is quite difficult not to at least, “gaggle” a little bit.  

     Please reply to this document.  Actually, writing 60-line poems is my specialty since I’m a lot better at writing them so let me know if either you, or somebody you know would publish them.  I am the most appreciative person you will ever deal with so please let me know of somebody who’d actually pay me for my writing ability.  A laughing hyena would sound like it’s sobbing compared to how overjoyed that would make me feel.  To have at least some of my many talents cause the rest of them to, “ploom” so that would open the doors for the rest of them to be discovered, and that would definitely be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. That’s, “egg”-zactly what I need in order to have a recognizable name so people would associate me with being a really awesome story teller, magician, poet, guitar-player by ear, story-writer, song-writer, dancer, ventriloquist, actor, aerobics instructor, magician, punster, athlete and other things that haven’t even been discovered yet.  Yet living here in Lynchburg, Va., The City Of 7 Hills, there’s no way to use any of those blessings.  That’s why I need to move somewhere else, although I’ll lose all the services I get here.  This town has no fun things to do, no decent Pentecostal Churches, no peer single-people who aren’t already dating somebody else, no jobs and no chance for a life.  Other than that, it’s a perfect place to live.  

Sincerely, your soon-to-be favorite, dumbest, ugliest in my opinion,  multi-talented, obese, weirdest, red-haired, blue-eyed, poet-author- comedian you will ever be affiliated with in this lifetime, Cuz Roye.