Still Linger

"You want to come with me to the street party?" My eyes widened upon hearing it from Greg. I got excited and wanted to come and dance like crazy with him and the rest of our friends. 

Teenagers go crazy partying in the 90s, and I'm one of them.

But dad won't allow me. He's a little strict and old-fashioned 

so he wouldn't want his teenage daughter to hang out with young boys at night. At that time, I didn't understand why he wouldn't let me go to such places. Of course, I was curious. I wanted to be free and experience the things that normal teenagers would experience. 

As a good daughter, I have to ask my parents' permission. 

With mom, I'm sure she'll say yes because she's the kindest, 

caring, and the most understanding person I know. " You have to ask your dad." that's what she said after telling her of my plan.

Though I was nervous, I finally have the guts to ask. "No, you can't!" As expected, that's the answer I've got. It was really disappointing, so I went to my room, sat on the floor at the corner of my bed. Still, so eager to go to that party.

Christine! I heard someone calling me from outside. 

I opened my window and try peep and see who's calling me. 

It's Greg. He's on his straight cut jeans, white oversized round neck T-shirt, neatly brushed-up hair with a pair of old high-cut sneakers on. He was there looking so fresh and dashing, ready to party.

Though it was a little dark outside because it was about eight in the evening. I saw him smiling and waving at me. He gave me the signal that says, come on, let's go! So I had to give him the hand signal and said wait without any sound.

I kept walking back and forth and was so jittery, thinking of what to do. Should I go or not? I was young and impulsive so I made a bold decision and jump off the window. I saw Greg waiting for me in a dark corner as soon as he saw me, I saw his face lit up and gave me a big smile.

He held my hand tightly then we ran away, like free birds.

The next day, while having breakfast, dad came to me and asked me, "Why did you sneak last night while I was asleep?" I was nervous but prepared to be hit on the face, on the butt or, on the leg. I was waiting, the pain will just linger for a few moments and later will fade away.

To my surprise, nothing, nothing happened and I felt relieved.

I know he is against my relationship with Greg. 

Though he was not saying anything I know, I can feel it. 

Who would like this punk for their daughter? He's full of curiosity about the world that he wanted to try almost everything, even the dangerous ones that can destroy his life.

He acted like a grown-up man and yet he knew nothing about the world. Yes, he loved me, cared for me, respected me and I felt the same way too. I wanted to help him, care for him and guide him 

to achieve his dreams but what about my dreams? 

I have to go to college and pursue my dreams. With him by my side, I don't think I can do it. He's a big distraction for me! I guess my dad was right for trying to keep me away from him. So I decided to keep myself away from him for the meantime and just focus on ourselves separately. 

I couldn't meet him face to face and tell him about my decision. 

Once I'm there, for sure I cannot utter even a single word and 

I might not be able to tell him my intention. So I just put it in a letter.I asked one of his friends to hand it over to him. 

He was shocked and rushed to my home. On the same spot where he used to stand and wait for me. I heard his voice calling my name almost midnight. "Christine, let's talk, but I didn't go out nor peep at the window. "Christine please", I heard him one more time and there was silence.

Those pleading words brought a lump in my throat, that 

I almost couldn't breathe. Tears kept falling the entire night as 

I struggle to bear the pain. That was the last moment I had with Greg and I needed to go on with my life and follow my dreams.

Time flies. Everybody's busy preparing a small party for my college graduation. I could see in my dad's eyes how happy and proud he was. Now I'm ready to face the real world and can start a career and probably later on a family.

I was shopping around one day when I accidentally bumped into one of my teenage friends. We were both surprised and happily greeted each other. "Hey, Nick! Is that you?" "Oh, hi Christine!" "It's been a long time." How have you been?"

We were exchanging a couple of stories when he suddenly brought up," Have you heard what happened to Greg?" I said, "No" I felt a bit curious. I wonder what's going on with his life now. I was expecting that Nick would say, he's now married, successful and totally got over me.

"He's dead!" Did I hear it right?

Huh! "Is that true?" I really couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I heard he had a miserable life. He was into drinking, smoking, partying, and taking heroin." Nick continuously talked but I 

almost cannot hear them anymore. They were like fading echoes.

"We need to hurry! You'll be late for school." Come on, come on! I was shouting at my two kids. The hand of the clock ticked away so fast. I'm always busy most of the time. I just got a little free time after sending the kids to school.

I was walking unconsciously, I was trying to organize my mind of the things I have to do next when a man suddenly appeared in front of me. He was smiling at me and said "Hi Christine, how are 

you?"

The man looked a little strange. He has long hair up to his back and a very long beard too. When I look at his eyes, those familiar eyes, I gasped in shock. "Greg?" I couldn't utter any words. 

Though I wanted to ask him, how are you or what happened to you, none of these words came out of my mouth.

I couldn't believe my eyes, I thought he was dead. Why did he look like that? There's something wrong with him. His eyes looked empty. It really bothered me from the day I saw Greg on the street.

Was that a ghost? I don't know I didn't even touch him. How could that be? Nick told me he's dead. I really want to know the truth. Later on, I heard from a common friend that he suffered from a psychiatric disorder. He stayed in the rehab for a long time and he just came out.

I suddenly felt guilty upon hearing the news. Am I the reason why this happened to him? Did I ruin his life, that night I broke up with him? What if I didn't do that decision? Will his life be better? Will my life be better?

I guess everything lies in our hands.