Volcano

It was the third time that Ella ripped up the draft of her upcoming novel; she looked at the torn pieces of paper which were a full manuscript few seconds before and became furiously frustrated.

"No, it's not happening", she said to herself.

Her first novel hopelessly failed at market; so, this time she was super conscious; trying to do least mistakes; but the same thing was happening again.

Ella sat back on the couch, took off her wearing glasses and all that she could feel was headache which was an obvious result after working till midnight and waking up 5 in the morning.

She rose from her chair and headed towards the kitchen; a cup of coffee was a must need.

She put the water on the stove and lit the gas.

While working, she was thinking about her novel; her own piece of work seemed to be very boring and dull to herself; she wanted to write something exciting that gives the readers goose-bumps and makes them awake in the middle of night to think about it.

She was lost in thought when the phone rang; it was Justin; her boyfriend or something like that; she could never figure out the actual nature of their relationship; Justin and she knew each other since they were in college; he was a good guy; supportive of Ella's desire to become a writer whereas her parents were not; but they liked Justin; to them, he was the definition of a perfect future son-in-law they could ever had; after Justin convinced them, they considered 'becoming a writer' wasn't the worst option in the world and thus Ella's choice was granted.

He had done her a great favour; in exchange, he wanted nothing; the love he had showered upon Ella was something that all women crave from their men of dream; Ella loved Justin but she could not think of marrying him; the thought of sharing life with him never occurred to her mind like volcano erupting from the mouth of a mountain.

"Hey", Ella's voice seemed tired and low; most probably, due to the hard work she was going through or may be, she didn't want to talk to Justin, at least for the time being.

"What's going on there?", Justin asked.

"Making coffee, that's all", she gave him an insipid reply.

"And, what about that novel?"

As he reminded her of it, she again became annoyed.

"A disaster, I wrote it for the third time but it's still of no use."

"Is it?", Justin laughed from the other side.

"Can we talk about it later? I'm not feeling like discussing it right now", Ella said.

"No, we can't, because I'm next to your door, can you please make another cup of coffee?"

*******

Two cups were placed next to each other on the table, they were randomly giving out steams; Ella and Justin sat on the couch; not very close, not very far; Ella was staring at the steams and suddenly missed the warmth in her life.

"Even those liquids have more warmth than I should have", she thought.

"Aren't you going to show me your writing?, Justin asked; he had always been Ella's first reader since she started writing.

"They don't exist any more", Ella pointed towards a corner of the room where the torn pieces of paper were piled up; they were appearing forlorn and abandoned.

Justin looked at them and laughed loudly.

"That's what you have done after spending sleepless nights?" , he said still laughing.

Ella didn't know what to say; her face darkened and eyes became watery; Justin came closer and touched her hand; she let her head fall on Justin's shoulder; for a moment, no one talked; then Justin offered Ella a cup and himself took the other one.

"Have it, none of us like cold coffee, right?"

Ella smiled and took a sip from the cup; her boyfriend was too caring; she always pondered if she deserved all that love.

"Now, you tell what's wrong with your writing?" Justin enquired.

"What to tell you Justin...I don't know it myself,I just feel it is not a good one, what just exactly happened to the first one."

"That's normal, if you are expecting to be famous after one or two attempts , then you're hurting yourself".

"No, you are not getting my point", Ella suddenly became unreasonably louder but then lowered her voice;

"I'm sorry Justin, I am a little off today, but speaking you the truth, I don't want money or fame from my writing; I want to feel alive while I read my own stuffs".

"What were you writing?", Justin asked.

"A love story".

"Really? then what's the problem?"

"It's very predictable, has nothing new and....."

"And?"

Ella thought for a moment and then replied.

"I don't feel the volcano".

"Volcano?" ,Justin asked.

"Yes, a love story should make you feel like you're passing through a volcano or feeling butterflies in your stomach".

Justin kept staring at Ella as she spoke.

"Why are you staring like that?", Ella asked.

"I just remembered the day we met for the first time, do you?"

Ella laughed, yes, she can remember; they met in the library which was not a very romantic place for the first meeting of two future lovers; Justin was sitting on the librarian's chair and poor Ella thought he was the real librarian; such a bad-ass guy he was; Ella went to issue "A Tale of Two Cities", she loves reading Dickens.

" A historical fiction?", the fake librarian frowned.

"Why a beautiful women should read a dull documentary?"

Ella was confused; what was he talking about? was he flirting with her?

"Sir, Dickens is my favourite author; I've read almost every work of him, this one was left".

"Come on, just forget about that book for a while and try something else; have you ever read this?", he showed Ella a romantic fiction the name of which Ella forgot now; she didn't understand what was happening until the real librarian came and caught the fake one red handed.

"You were unbelievable, Justin", Ella laughed.

" I am still the same", Justin smiled at her.

" I felt the 'volcano thing' that day", he said.

Ella listened to him, a soft smile passed her face.

"I know how much you love me", she said.

"But, there are things you don't know".

"Like?"

"Like, I want you as my life partner", Justin said.

"Justin, do you think I can be your best match?"

"Undoubtedly".

Now, Justin did something; he took out a box from his pocket and before Ella could understand anything, he was on his knees with a diamond ring on the palm.

"Will you marry me Ella?", he said.

"What's it... Justin?", Ella was pretty shocked.

"I can't wait anymore to make you mine"; Justin replied.

"But, I don't know Justin.... I don't know."

Ella couldn't look at Justin; a feeling of guilt grew inside her.

"Ella, say something, your silence is deadly", Justin said.

Ella now fixed her eyes upon Justin's.

"I don't think we can make it together", she said.

"Why not Ella? We'll be a great couple; I promise you, I love you", Justin was looking helpless; the more he was trying to make Ella his own, the less Ella was belonging to him; his words were striking her ears as the hammer hitting the nails.

"What's wrong ? Have I done something wrong?", Justin kept asking.

"Nothing wrong with you Justin, you are just perfect."

"No, I am not; you've lied to me; you've flattered me; you have given me false hope of love"; Justin screamed.

"I love you, I swear on God, I do", Ella tried to hold him but he freed himself from her arms;

"I want to hear the truth"; Justin's eyes were red.

"The biggest truth is that I love you", Ella yelled.

"Then why are you turning down my proposal?"

"I don't know."

"You will", Justin grabbed Ella's face and tried to kiss her forcefully; Ella felt she couldn't breath, it was suffocating; she lost her temper and slapped hard on Justin's face; he didn't expect it and stood there like a voiceless stupid; the moment became stagnant like a water in the pool , but for Ella, it was the moment of realisation, moment of freedom; the volcano was near, she could feel the warmth of fire and one day soon she will have it; until then she'll 'postpone writing'.