See you soon.

I didn’t want to send the text. In fact I never wanted to text her ever again. I didn’t know what I was doing. My hands were shakily holding my phone. I never changed her contact photo. She looked so pretty in it, making a goofy face. 

You can do this.

I wasn’t necessarily worried that she wouldn’t respond, it was more so me being worried about if our energy would still be the same. I’m not sure if I could handle the one worded responses anymore. 

I took a deep breath. 

Okay, you can do this. You’re doing this. Do it now. STOP WAITING!

Ahh! I sent it! I threw my phone on my desk and ran to my bed and buried my head in the pillow. 

Ahh! Why was my heart beating so fast! I took a deep breath. I separated myself from my personal cloud of misery. No rain today though.

I sat on the edge of my bed. I looked at the empty sparkling grape juice bottle sitting on my nightstand. A single, wrinkling red flower was resting inside it. I sighed. All of the flowers she gave me the last time I had seen her had died. Oh boy, the last time she saw me. I left the room...

I was sitting on a red checkered blanket on the soft grass at the park. There was a little hill with the perfect view of the sunset at the park. It was golden hour. She had an uneven tan from working at the farm, but every part of her was glowing radiantly, even the shoulder lines. 

We had decided to dress up for a picnic at the park. She was in a red sparkling dress and I in a button-up red shirt with black dress pants. She was wearing heels and I black dress shoes. Next to us was a box of half-eaten fudge, half-drunk bottles of Fiji water, and an empty sparkling grape juice bottle filled with red flowers. 

“You look so gorgeous,” I said, stunned, looking at her with my mouth agape.

“Thank you… I wore this red dress just for you…” she said smiling softly.

“Like in my dream! You’re literally the girl of my dreams!”

She laughed. Oh, her laugh.

We looked and stared at each other intently. I only had one intention at that moment. We moved in slowly and rested on each other’s lips.

When we moved apart, the look on her face made my heart sink. I swallowed. My heart started beating faster. 

“Hey… I have to tell you something…” She said. Each of her words magnified my heartbeats. 

“Yeah? What is it?”

She was silent for a moment. She was staring ahead at the mountain sunset. Her bottom lip was slightly raised.

“I didn’t tell you this… But I’m leaving to Maine tomorrow…”

I was frozen. I felt cold, in August, in North Carolina. I couldn’t move. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Nothing but tears came out of me. I couldn’t even see her clearly anymore. 

She hugged me. I felt warm again. So warm. But it went away with the thought of me not seeing her for half a year. I hugged her tightly. We were both crying on each other. We didn’t speak because we already knew what each other was thinking and feeling. I didn’t want this moment to end... Please don’t end... Please stay?

I rushed back to my bed. I shook my head. My heart felt a little heavier, but still easy enough to carry with me for now. 

It had finally been half a year. She was back in town. I had the day marked in my calendar. We promised each other we would see each other whenever she came back. 

I thought that would be perfect, had it not been for her no longer texting me. We went from texting every day to not speaking for days and days. The only time we would talk was if I initiated it.

Hey, how’s Maine?

*2 days later*

Good

Her birthday was the week after the last day I saw her. She told me we would get to celebrate it together. Didn’t exactly go as planned. On the day of her birthday I sent her the message I wrote out for the birthday card I planned on giving to her in person. 

She never had her “read” receipts turned on for her phone, but for the first time ever she turned it on for her birthday. Her birthday message simply said “read”. Eventually she texted me a week later, all she said was: Ty!

All she said was thank you. She didn’t even type it out fully! She used to text me paragraphs about how her day was going. She would text me every time she saw a cute ladybug. She would text me every time she thought about me. I couldn’t handle going from knowing everything about each other, to being strangers. 

Eventually, I just stopped trying to text her. I hoped she would text me, but she never did. Months and months later, not a single text. 

Then the day came. The day she came back. Even though I didn’t feel like she still wanted me in her life, I didn’t feel like breaking a promise. I promised her I would see her when she came back. Even if she says she didn’t want to see me, I would have at least fulfilled some of the promise by attempting to reach out. 

That’s why I sent the hardest text of my life. I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. As much as I wanted her to respond, I also didn’t want her to ever see my text. 

I closed my eyes...

We held each other for a long time. Eventually, it started to become dark.

“We should get going…” She said in a raspy voice. 

“Yeah,” I said in a barely whispered voice.

We slowly packed up the perfect picnic. 

We held hands silently as we walked back to her car. I squeezed her hand. She squeezed back twice. Our sign for reassurance. We eventually made it back to the familiar, black Subaru.

We sat in the car in silence, resting on each other.

“Want to go to our spot? One last time before I leave?” She asked quietly. 

“I would love that.”

We drove to the small, hidden lake near her house. The gravel parking lot we pulled into had an open view of the water. The moon was reflecting off the clear water. 

We parked and turned off the car. The soft music from her favorite playlist was still playing from the radio. 

We turned to each other. We both sighed. She opened her arms out for a hug. We hugged each other tightly, almost becoming one. I wouldn’t have minded being her. 

Then we both started sobbing softly. We looked into each other’s pained faces. I leaned my seat all the way back. She climbed over and sat on my lap, facing me. She hugged me tight. Then we kissed again. The kisses were so sweet, salty tears made them taste even better. Things are more savory when you’re about to lose them forever.

We kissed for a long time. I didn’t want to stop, especially if this could be the last time. We tried to fit in half a year’s worth in half a moment…

I didn’t realize we fell asleep on each other until I felt her twitch slightly. We both woke up at the same time.

We both stared at each other, filling each other’s gazes with so much feeling. I wondered if she could see the sadness I was feeling inside. 

“We should go… you have to pack tomorrow…”

“Yeah… I’ll drive you back to your car…”

We drove back to my car, parked at the Ingles parking lot. I got out, holding my fudge and flowers. I placed them on the passenger seat carefully. I tried to draw it out as much as possible. I didn’t want the next part to happen.

I looked at her staring intently at me. She didn’t look sad or wistful anymore. I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. My heart sank. Maybe she was already moving on? 

“Let me give you one last hug,” she said, inviting me warmly to her.

I sank into her arms. 

“Hey, it’s okay…” she ran her hands softly through my hair. She kissed the top of my head.

 “See you soon.”

She always said that. She always said that to me every time we left each other. She didn’t like “goodbyes”. I hated them.

The light chime of my phone woke me up. I jolted straight up. I walked up to my phone. I turned it over. 

Hey! Oh my gosh, I miss you too! Want to hang out tomorrow evening?

My heart felt like it was in the middle of a marathon or something, about to burst. A text message shouldn’t make a guy so nervous, dang!

Yeah! That works perfectly!

I couldn’t believe she responded. I was even more stunned to receive a message back instantly.

Alright, see you at my place at 5 tomorrow! 

I jumped up and down! I was happy! I was seeing her again! I eventually composed myself again. 

Oh boy. How was I going to dress! How was I going to act! Would we hug at first? Kissing was probably off the table. I took a deep breath. I looked at the flower again. I hoped it would go fine.

I pulled up to her house, wearing jeans, a white shirt that fit me perfectly, my fashionable Nike's, and my brown khaki jacket. I also had on the cologne she always said smelled good. I got out of the car and walked slowly to her front door. I was dressed confident but felt nervous standing in front of the house of the girl of my dreams. 

 What if we wouldn’t be like we used to? What if she found someone else in our time away? What if-

“Hey! How have you been!” She opened the door abruptly and ran at me. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me.

I gave her a hug just as big. 

“I’m good now that you’re back.”

She smiled. 

We had decided we would just chill at her house and we would cook dinner together. Like we used to so often back in the summertime. 

“Come in, come in!” She waved me inside.

I loved her house. It wasn’t too big, but it felt very roomy and spacious. The furniture had a specific vibe, but I could never place it. Her mom wasn’t home today, she was out on a work trip. There were so many times where we almost got caught. Thank God for locks.

“You hungry?” she asked.

“Um, Yeah! Especially for your cooking!” 

“Oh you better hush, if you’re not careful my ego will go to the moon,” she said blushing.

She started getting out the cooking supplies.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“I’m not sure, whatever the chef recommends.”

“Ooh, well no farm-fresh food this time, not working there right now.”

She would always get off work drenched in sweat. I wouldn’t help the situation…

“But, we do have some vegetables, we’ll make something healthy.” 

I leaned on the kitchen counter. I remembered another night where her mom wasn’t here... It got hot there real quick, but I didn’t wanna leave. I could take the heat... I shook my head, clearing the memory away.

“How can I help?” I asked.

She handed me olive oil and a green bowl.

“I’ll cut, you mix,” she said grinning.

She cut the potatoes, carrots, and onions with ease. As she cut each vegetable, she dumped them in the bowl. I poured the olive oil into the vegetable mix and started tossing the vegetables around.

“We need the spices,” she said, placing Cayenne pepper, garlic powder, cinnamon powder, salt, pepper, and of course, Old Bay.

“We gotta have the Old Bay,” I said laughing.

She always put Old Bay in everything she made. Her favorite spice. 

I mixed the spices into the vegetables. The smell of the spices was enough for my mouth to water. After everything was mixed, she put her finger in it to taste the spices. 

“Oh my gosh, perfect. Let’s put these baby’s in the oven.”

She set the timer and came over to me. She put arms on my shoulders.

“You’ve grown a little taller haven’t you?” she asked, looking me up and down.

“Yeah, maybe an inch or two,” my messy, spiced-up hands were awkwardly hanging at my side. 

Her face lit up. 

“Alexa, shuffle play The Best Playlist Ever.”

An upbeat, dance song started playing. She took her hands off of me and started waving them in the air. Her hips were moving rhythmically, mesmerizing me. She grabbed my hands suddenly and started dancing with me. 

“Forget that your hands were dirty, but I don’t care.” 

The look on her eyes let me know that we were about to bust up some swing dancing moves. We both took swing classes over the summer. 

We rocked back and forth, feeling out the rhythm. Then we practiced the basics for a bit, waiting for the skills to come back. Then we started the swinging and turning and twisting, and next thing I knew, I was cradling her after a move gone wrong. She looked back, looking up at me. I was holding her in front of me. She was holding onto my arms tightly. Her eyes were wide. I hoped she couldn’t feel my heart beating like crazy.

“Looks like we're trapped…” she said giggling.

“Guess we are… I wish I knew how to break free...” I said slyly.

“Yeah I can’t help you there... guess we’ll just have to be like this forever?”

We swayed slowly to the smooth R&B song that was playing now. I closed my eyes. We just held each other, not saying a word. We didn’t need words right now.

We stayed like that until the kitchen timer went off.

“Guess we should get that…” She said softly.

“Yeah… probably should wash our hands first.” 

We laughed and separated from each other. 

“I call sink first!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah right!” 

She made it to the sink first sadly.

After we were done cleaning up, she took out our dinner and set it on top of the stove to cool off. 

“Ooh, that looks so good!” I exclaimed, rubbing my hands together.

“What can I say, I’m a chef.”

“You make me actually like vegetables.”

She smiled at me and looked at me for a moment. Then she hugged me. We stayed hugging for a while. Time was slipping away from me. I didn’t bother trying to catch it, I didn’t want this moment to ever end. My heart felt lighter, it had been carrying around so much, now it was resting in warm, loving arms.

Eventually, we separated. 

“Let's eat.” 

The food was good, it was so flavorful and savory. It had a slight crispness to it and some sweetness from the honey that was added to it. 

I ate two servings like it was nothing. 

“Oh, I missed your cooking,” I said mid-bite.

“Well, I missed you!” 

I smiled at her big.

“I forgot how messy you are too,” she said, pointing at the 4 napkins I had crumpled up next to my plate.

We laughed together. We laughed a lot at dinner. I missed the fun we would have with each other. I missed her laugh so much, I was glad to have it back.

When we finished eating, we cleaned up the kitchen and made sure to leave it spotless. 

“Look at us, we’re so good at cleaning.”

“Yeah, I think I’m better though…” I said.

“I really, really doubt that.”

“How can I prove it to you? Besides you know, already cleaning up the whole kitchen?”

“My room has been a little messy... You could show me how good you are at cleaning in there...?” 

She looked up into my eyes. My whole body felt on fire. 

“Oh yeah? Let’s see what I can do about that…”

“I’ll show you the way, you haven’t been here in a while so you might have forgotten the way,” she said slyly, grabbing both of my hands.

“Lead the way,” I said smiling.

A wave of nostalgia hit me upon entering her room. So many memories came flooding back to me. But they evaporated quickly after she pushed me onto the bed and stood in front of me. Her room wasn't messy, but it was about to be.

“I missed you,” she said, climbing on top of me.

“I missed you more,” I said.

“Show me.” 

We set the room on fire. 

Her lips were as soft as I remembered...

Her skin was as smooth as I remembered...

Her body felt even better than I remembered...

We made up for all of our lost time in one night... 

In the end, we kept our promise to each other...