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Kids Funny

“He’s running… he’s got it! He’s almost there! Touchdown, Cow-” the TV was dramatically cut off by a resounding CRACK! followed by the loss of power in the Landry household.

“You’ve GOT to be kidding me,” shouted Mr. Landry. “We were just about to win!” Mr. Landry slams his empty can of Mountain Dew onto the coffee table and stomps to the bathroom.

“Dramatic, much?” said Ella Landry. “It’s just a stupid football game. I feel like we should be more concerned about the insane storm that just shut off our power than the game we’re missing.”

The Landrys knew that the storm was coming. Ella was surprised that the power had stayed on long enough to watch through the third quarter.

“Now Ella,” began Mrs. Landry. “You know how much sports mean to your father. Give him a break.” Mrs. Landry began to clean up the empty queso bowls surrounding her husband’s recliner. 

Ella came home, all the way back to Oklahoma, from college in Nashville, Tennessee, just to be with her family for this game. She knew how much the game meant to the rest of her family, which is the only reason she was there. Not for Mr. Landry.

“Jonah, put that down RIGHT now!” Mrs. Landry was chasing her youngest son down the hallway. He seemed to be holding a very full dirty diaper in one hand and an open Sharpie marker in the other. She finally caught up to him. Jonah’s squeals were intertwined with thunderous bolts and flashes of light through the windows.

“Come on, Ella. Why don’t you help me clean up? Maybe it would help mom out a bit.” Ella’s older brother, Luke, called out to her from the kitchen. Luke graduated from Oklahoma State University, their parent’s alma mater, a few years back. Just by looking at him, you would be able to tell that he was the perfect child. A tall and lean build, with neatly set blonde hair. A cross country runner with a bachelor’s degree in engineering, he was everything that Mr. Landry could’ve wanted in a son- excluding his only flaw, the fact that he was terrible at football.

Ella begrudgingly stood from her very comfortable place on the couch with her very comfortable Vanderbilt University blanket and walked across the very cold tile with her bare feet to put away the clean dishes.

“You know, I’m surprised dad even let you in this house with that Vanderbilt blanket,” Luke joked.

“Haha. Very funny,” Ella said, gently kicking Luke in the shin as she carried plates to the cabinet.

Ella’s refusal to attend OSU and eventual decision to live hundreds of miles away was a sore subject within the Landry family. Luke is the only one who truly supported her choice. Mr. Landry was the least accepting of this fact, resulting in the deterioration of their “Daddy’s Girl” relationship. When Ella lived with the rest of her family, they would camp outside in the backyard at least once a month, and much more often in the summer months. Mrs. Landry would prepare s’mores trays. Mr. Landry would build the tents and start a fire. Luke would try to scare Ella with his ghost stories, but often it would end up the other way around. Jonah and their middle sister, Claire, would fall asleep when they had been outside for a mere hour.

Ella missed those days when they would spend quality time together as a family. Now, she was only home a few times a year. Luke lived in an apartment near the house, but was just beginning his career and busy quite often. Claire was a freshman in high school, but a cheerleader and student council member, following in her sister’s footsteps. Tonight, she was at a weekend bonding retreat with the rest of her council. Jonah… well. Jonah is only a toddler. He doesn’t do much.

Mrs. Landry shouted down the hall for Mr. Landry. “Honey! Claire’s retreat is getting cut short because of the storm. She needs you to come pick her up.”

Mr. Landry peeked out of the bathroom. “Now?”

“Yes, now! Go get her!”

Mr. Landry didn’t bother trying to hide his frustration about having to go pick up his daughter in this kind of a storm. He opened the front door, took a heavy breath, and opened his umbrella. He trudged through the puddles forming on the sidewalk and started his pickup truck. The drive to Claire was a short one. The Landrys lived relatively close to the school where the student council had returned to.

Claire hopped in the truck, sopping wet and very disappointed.

“What’s wrong?” Mr. Landry asked her, putting the car in gear and pulling out of the parking lot.

“This was supposed to be my first student council retreat, and it got ruined because of this stupid rain!” Claire pouted as she twisted her wet blonde hair around her finger. “I was excited to get to go camping again… we haven’t done it since Ella moved out. I miss it.”

Mr. Landry listened. He remembered the first time he took his kids camping in the backyard. It was raining, just like tonight. Not as hard, but still enough to fizzle the fire out quickly. The kids didn’t care about the fire, though. All they cared about was being able to spend time with their dad, curled up in blankets in the tent eating hotdogs and potato chips.

“Well, Claire… how would you like to go camping tonight?”

“Come on, dad. It's pouring.”

“No one said we couldn’t set up the tent under the porch…”

Claire looked up at her father. “Seriously? Are you being serious?”

Mr. Landry pulled into their driveway and glanced at his middle daughter. “Dead serious. Why not?”

Claire squealed. She may be in high school now, but she is still a little girl at heart.

Claire ran inside and told her family the good news.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Ella. “We haven’t been camping in literal years, and you want to choose today, in the middle of a storm?”

Claire did not waver from her position that this was a good idea, and neither did Mr. Landry. Mrs. Landry and Ella seemed to be against the idea.

“Luke? What do you think, should we do it?” Claire asked.

“Yeah, Luke. You’re the tiebreaker. Do you want to camp in the backyard?”

Luke looked from side to side. He saw Claire’s eager face. He saw Ella’s not-so-discreet eyeroll. And, he saw his father, who was looking only at Ella. He understood what this spontaneous camping trip was really about.

“Absolutely. I’ll get the marshmallows,” he said, winking at Claire, who bounded into his arms for a grateful hug. Claire and Luke had always had a fairly decent relationship. It was almost as if he grew tired of his ornery older brother days after he had that phase with Ella.

After half an hour, each member of the Landry family was ready for their excursion in the backyard. The rain had slowed a bit, but the power was still out. Mrs. Landry had prepared her classic food platters, though they were running low on hotdog buns, so Luke offered to eat his with a slice of bread. Mr. Landry had set up the tent under the porch, as well as a makeshift campfire. Ella confidently stepped through the door in a Vanderbilt sweatshirt, with her Vanderbilt coffee mug, wrapped in a Vanderbilt blanket. She was prepared to test her father’s limits tonight. Luke, on the other hand, seemed to be headed on a beach vacation in his bucket hat and cargo shorts.

“What’s with all the pockets?” Ella asked him, eyeing his interesting choice of clothing.

“Legos,” he replied, pulling out a few red and blue blocks. “Jonah wanted me to carry them.”

On cue, Jonah shuffles outside, arms filled with stuffed animals, train figurines, bouncy balls, and everything in between.

“I see someone has no interest in family game night,” said Mrs. Landry, walking over to pick up the stuffed giraffe that had fallen from Jonah’s chubby, overflowing arms.

Claire perked up at the phrase. “Game night?” She asked, peeking out of the tent. Claire was the first one outside, decked out in all her camping gear.

“What are we playing?” Ella asked. She couldn’t remember the last family game night they had. 

Her question was answered when Mr. Landry pulled a deck of cards out of his backpack. Of course, how could she forget? The Landry family specialty- Secret Spade. 

The game is simple. Well, not to those outside the Landry family. The game was created by Mr. Landry when he first met Mrs. Landry at a small gathering with some friends. He was attempting to impress her by teaching her a new game that he would win, and he ended up making up new rules the whole time, which was his ultimate downfall. By definition, Mrs. Landry beat him at his own game.

“We all remember how to play, yes?” Mr. Landry said, dealing the cards to the rest of his family, excluding Jonah, who was perfectly happy building towers out of the legos from Luke’s pockets.

Claire clapped with excitement. “Yes, yes, hurry up!”

Once they had all received their cards, Mrs. Landry began counting down. “Three, two, one, look!” Each member of the family quickly glanced at the cards they had received and laid them down in front of them, with barely enough time to comprehend what they had seen. They then passed their cards to the person to the left. They picked up the cards they had been passed and determined their strategies for the rest of the game.

Secret Spade was not a team sport by any means, unless the players choose to make it one by forming alliances. There can only be one winner. Ella often referred to it as, “The Hunger Games, but with cards instead of weapons.” One might compare it to a mix of Dungeons and Dragons, CLUE, Spades, and Twister. It was a game of chaos and competition, and the Landry family was fantastic at it.

“Dad, stop! You’re ruining my tower in Ibiza!” Ella shouted.

“It’s not my fault your ogre trampled my village, this is what you get!” He shouted back.

The game continued for a while. Claire reached for a hot dog and Luke used his ten of spades to freeze her in the awkward position, hence the Twister comparison. Mrs. Landry secretly assassinated the Governor of Mr. Landry’s village and a murder investigation began.

“George Washington, Sacagawea!” Luke shouted as he threw his cards on the ground. Ella groaned, disappointed. Mrs. Landry threw her cards at her son in frustration.

“Of course he won, his cards were amazing!” Mr. Landry, who had glanced at his cards before the game, yelled. “That round was terrible! If Claire would stop dropping Bubble Gum Bombs on my planet, maybe I would’ve had a TINY chance. That was so unfair!”

Claire giggled, then laughed harder. And harder. Soon, she was practically rolling on the floor laughing, which created a ripple effect on the rest of the family. Luke smiled and tickled Claire. Mr. and Mrs. Landry soon followed. 

Ella caught the infectious laugh. She grinned. She had missed this. She looked down at her Vanderbilt sweatshirt, and then at her father. He was also looking at the sweatshirt. He looked up to meet her eyes. Her grin began to fade as she saw the sadness in his expression.

Ella had known for years that it was her father’s plan for her to attend OSU. Her life had a written outline practically straight out of the womb, but she knew that it wasn’t what she wanted. Ella knew that she wanted to step out of her comfort zone and be her own person. She just hadn’t anticipated the toll it would have on her family for her to leave.

Soon after the game was over, the Landrys roasted marshmallows on the fire. Jonah was more than happy to participate in this part of the festivities.

The porch light flickered, and then came on.

“Guys, look!” Claire said, pointing at the yard. “It isn’t even raining anymore!”

They laughed. They hadn’t even noticed the absence of the rain, they were having too much fun.

They laughed, told stories, ate junk food, and stayed up far too late, enjoying each other’s company.

The next morning, Ella went in to talk to her dad in his office.

“Hey, dad? I brought you some coffee,” she said, handing him a mug.

He blew on the steaming cup. “Thank you,” he responded. He took a drink. Ella had never been able to understand how he could enjoy drinks at such extreme temperatures.

“Can we talk?” She asked, twiddling her thumbs. She knew this was a conversation that needed to happen, and right now was as good a time as any.

“Sure, El. What’s up?” He typed one last character and spun his chair to face her. She sat in the empty chair across from him.

“Thank you for paying for my college, even though it wasn’t the one you wanted me to pick.” Based on Mr. Landry’s facial expression, this was not what he expected his daughter to say.

“You’re welcome, Ella Jane,” he said. Ella had forgotten what it sounded like for her father to call her by her first and middle name. He hadn’t done that in quite some time. 

“You know why it’s so hard for me to handle you going there, right?” He asked her.

Ella nodded. She was beginning to understand.

“You have to believe that it has nothing to do with you, what I think your capabilities are, how much I love you, or any of that. I just hate not being able to see you every day. I miss my Ella Jane. I know you want to be you and follow your heart to the best college for you. I have faith that you made the right choice, El. You’re a smart girl. I just hate my baby girl being so far from home, and me.” Mr. Landry sighed. He rubbed his eyes. “I’ll get over you not continuing the family tradition. Who cares about tradition? I would much rather you get into and attend an incredible school like Vanderbilt than worry about choosing OSU just for my sake. Hold on… I have something to show you.”

Ella raised her eyebrows. “Really? What?”

“Open that sack in the corner,” Mr. Landry said, pointing to a brown paper bag with the top folded over sitting by the grandfather clock.

Ella walked over and carefully unwrapped the surprise. She saw the Vanderbilt logo. She pulled it out and saw that it was, in fact, a sweatshirt with the Vanderbilt crest, almost identical to hers. The only difference was the phrase “Vanderbilt Dad” on the sweatshirt from the bag.

“You bought this?” She asked, turning to face her father.

“Yes, of course! I want everyone to know just how proud I am of my daughter for attending Vanderbilt University. I’m so, so proud of you, Ella Jane. I’m so sorry it’s taken so long for me to adjust and be supportive of your decision. I love you, and I’m thankful you’re my daughter.”

Ella grinned and hugged her father. She understood now that her father’s reluctance to accept her school was because he loved her and wanted the best for her. He didn’t want her to leave him behind.

“I love you too, dad.”

Ella stepped back and her father pulled his new sweatshirt over his T-Shirt.

“How do I look?” Mr. Landry shuffled around in a circle to show off his apparel.

Ella smiled. “Great, dad. You look great.”

Mrs. Landry walked in and saw her husband and daughter’s shared moment. She smiled. She knew her plan would work. All she had to do was promise Claire $5 if she could guilt trip Mr. Landry into a backyard camping trip. Mrs. Landry decided right then and there- that was the best $5 she ever spent. 

September 11, 2020 22:31

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