8 comments

Kids Fantasy Fiction

As the crimson sun disappears into the large dark clouds and the rain drips down on the green grass and a cave larger than the biggest mountains shows a dark shadow One with large red horns, crystal blue eyes, large red hands threatening to break the stone under and teeth that could break the finest of armor’s. As the beast steps out of the cave's shadow it reveals to be a powerful dragon with scales of crimson and wings as long as the god’s wisdom. Its powerful presence threatens to be larger than anything, as the dragon roars the earth, sky, and sea shake as the dragon stands tall, flaps their wings and flies into the storm clouds its scales turning dark with the rain as it flaps its powerful wings it spots a small village with many homes of straw and dirt. As it slowly makes its way down the townspeople shake in terror at the dreadful and powerful dragon.

“Oh, thy great o thy powerful great dragon what shall thee desire,” cries a villager in fear as the dragon walks toward the villager it glares, seeing if they should waste their time with them. The villager is a man of wealth with a balding head and large stomach and a robe with a rope tight around his belly.

“Give all forms of arts and music to me now or else,” glares the dragon. As the man sees the dragons eyes, the man quivers in fear as he runs to a wooden shack and brings various instruments from the Viol to the Crumhorn and works of art such as sculptures. The dragon looks down on the objects and throws a large piece of gold. Its long circular and round object rolls to a villager as they examine it. As they look closer they notice it is a precious crown made out of gold with colored rubies around it.

“That shall be your payment humans,” says the dragon as it jumps and flaps its strong wings against the ground. It holds its new artifacts carefully to its hoard and realizes there is no more room in its enormous cave as it moves around its treasures but its new additions don’t fit anywhere as it realizes it has no more room they lay down but accidentally breaks a sculpture.

“What shall I do?,” roars the dragon as it heads outside and heads to sleep it wakes to the golden sun making its scales warm and bright yellow as it stands it goes back to its cave it sits outside glaring at its hoard it thinks of the various kingdoms it is destroyed and ruined the kings and gods it's toyed with, it begins to feel its first ounce of regret as it flaps its wings and flies up to one of the kingdoms it destroyed it is still attempting to rebuild yet neighboring kingdom’s attack it so as it swoops down its people try to attack the dragon but he glares at the people and they stand down in fear of being stepped upon the dragon’s claws.

“If you desire to have your art and music back come to the mountain cave north from here and i shall give it back,” as the dragon flaps its wings to fly again a child walks to them.

“Sir are you really going to give us back our music?Thank you sir,” smiles the child as she gives them their teddy bear.

“my gratitude but I am not a sir good day small child,” says the dragons as they fly across the skies to the village they went to the last night as they swoop down the villagers quiver in fear he tells them to go the north mountain cave and they will receive their treasures back and they repeat the same process until they get to the final kingdom and the dragon sits and roars “come to the north mountain behind the cave if you desire your treasures back” as the dragon jumps up, it soars across the sky’s and heads back home waiting and the first kingdom comes and the dragon gives the treasures from that kingdom back to them and so he tells them to go back home and he does this until he has only one kingdom left as the dragon begins to not want to give it back the king says.

“You told us to go behind why,” says the king

“Your people have never done anything wrong yet i destroyed it forgive me yet i don’t desire to give anything back,” and so the king replies

“Give us only the necessary gold and our arts you may keep the gold,instruments and art of your choosing,” 

So the dragon keeps a sculpture, an instrument, and the bear the child gave away without any regret and so the dragon falls asleep unknowing if they did the right or wrong thing. As it takes all the gold it didn’t give back it throws the gold and spreads it all across the big blue sky and when it begins to rain the golden rain begins as people head out they think they might be hit but not a single piece of gold harms a person. As the dragon falls asleep it smiles thinking to itself how it could help many people make others smile once more. As it stands back up it flies once more and makes more gold and as the gold falls everyone sits in their homes waiting to get their piece of gold hoping they will get rich but those rich dreams have become a shortcoming when the villager with a balding head comes and attempts to take all the gold for himself so the dragon swoops down and roars.

“You desire to take away their happiness so take your precious gold and rot,” as a large golden bell falls above him and it chimes three times the golden rain stops and so the dragon now sleeps in its cave in hopes of a new hoard but the people of the village still celebrate them to this day for the dragon who helps them all sleep well dragon.

February 13, 2023 19:09

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8 comments

Wally Schmidt
15:11 Mar 02, 2023

Jester I love how original this story is and I think it shows a promising start. I'm going to chime in here with the others and tell you that from my experience, I spend as much time editing and I do writing. I didn't always, but if I had to point to a reason that my work is getting better, then it has to do with editing. As Denise mentioned, using the Read Aloud feature in microsoft word can really help catch some of the things that need to be edited. I think you'll find the Reedsy community a really supportive lot, so if you need advice, ...

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Jester Patatoe
18:31 Mar 02, 2023

Thank you!

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Deni Bee
22:31 Feb 21, 2023

Hello, Nice premise for your story. Since you are a young aspiring writer, I don't want to over burden you with critique, so I won't repeat what others have already said. I will add to it, however, by cautioning you to watch out for run on sentences, as these can make the meaning of your paragraphs seem muddled and unclear. Let someone else read it before you submit it, as they may be able to point out any obvious problems. Also, in the review portion of a Word Doc you can utilize the read out loud editing tool. You'd be amazed what you will...

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Jester Patatoe
01:10 Feb 22, 2023

Thank you! i will make sure to do this.

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David Sweet
21:24 Feb 14, 2023

Keep working hard. Keep writing and editing. Writing is like any other art, you've got to keep on working on it until you're satisfied (and that can be tough). You have a few grammatical errors you need to correct, but I like where you go with the story. I started writing when I was young, gave it up for several years, and have now started recently again. I wish I hadn't stopped. I hope you will keep writing.

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Jester Patatoe
16:51 Feb 15, 2023

Thank you!

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Jester Patatoe
19:46 Feb 14, 2023

If i made any mistakes or you have any advice please let me know!

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David Sweet
21:31 Feb 14, 2023

You need to look at your capitalization at the beginning of paragraph and when you start quotes, for example, "Watch your step," she shouted. Also, remember to capitalize 'I'

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