Just Checking Up! Part Eight: Cinnamon and its Bittersweet Notes!

Rip:

Cinnamon drifted up my nose, the drink reminding me of how my mother nearly murdered Silks yesterday. Guilt ate at me, tears welling up in my eyes. Running my fingers along the rough conference table, the texture irked me. Ticking of the clocks along the wall woke up an aggressive migraine, throats clearing around me. Questions faded in and out, a loud what exploding from my lips.

“Do you think you could get her to join our team?” A couple of them requested, the past days getting us nowhere. “After our week off in honor of your honeymoon, boss.” Blurry faces worried me, a few of my breaths shortening. Mumbling out some sort of excuse, that next step was up to her. A knock prevented me from another panic attack, Silks limping in with a bag of food. Soaking in the crime boards lining the walls, curiosity twinkled in her eyes. Setting the bag down, the eyes on her bruise and busted lips didn’t seem to bother her. Moving a few tacks and pictures around, excited chatter passed among my team members. Digging around her brand new Freddy Kruger inspired sweater dress , a full ball of red yarn bounced off of her palm. Tying it around the first tack, her fingers curled around a free office chair. Plopping her bad leg onto it, Silks soon became a blur of red as she toiled away to make her connections. Finishing up by spinning up to me, a special turkey sandwich rested on her palm.

“I didn’t want to be alone today and your boss inquired about my assistance.” She admitted adorably, a shadow of her smile contrasting the freedom in her eyes. “That is a more accurate outline of the whole system if you must know. Is that clearer for you guys? I would hate to inform you of something much worse than this. My parents were mere officers of something rather dangerous. Please observe this masterpiece after your lunch and we can dig through the boxes again for the needle in the haystack.” Signs of anxiety were written all over her face, fresh scratch marks had me pulling out her bun to hide them. Thanking me with a peck on my cheek, old habits would prove to be difficult to break. Sliding a bandage onto it, no one would be any wiser to her mental strife. Pulling out the different deli meat sandwiches, compliments were tossed in her direction. Flashing them her real smile, a lack of a sandwich in her hand concerned me deeply. Dropping the smaller half into her palm, a little protest lingered in her eyes. Taking a bite to please me, a quiet fear hid underneath her bright energy. Nausea drained the color from her cheeks, a clammy sweat glistening on her brow. Setting her half back in my palm, regret dimmed her eyes. Pushing the chair out of the office door, running water covered the sound of her vomiting. Devouring my sandwich on the way to help her out, look eyes darted between the empty chair and me. Letting myself into the bathroom, a tuckered out Silks shivered in a stall with her hands cupping the sides of her head. Ruby beads shimmered on her thighs, wet desperate eyes meeting mine. Hoping she wasn’t imagining my mother, her limp hands crashed into mine.

“Sorry for getting her arrested.” She choked out through a wall of fresh tears, her fingers tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Lord knows that my father isn’t enjoying his time in jail. Hell, she wasn’t supposed to be there. The second she demanded that I kill like my mother, something died in my heart. How dare she say such cold words! I didn’t want to do that in the first fucking place!” Struggling to swallow the intense range of emotions haunting her features, quickening breaths had me burying her into my shoulder. Sobbing wildly into my shoulder, her fingers clung to my jacket in an attempt to ground herself. Holding her until her breath steadied, a puffy face greeted me. Helping her to her feet, her concern had no valid standing.

“That monster decided to attack you. Not your fault. Your father decided to attack you. Any fault lies with him. Her words were out of line.” I assured her gently, her shaking hands cleaning up her face. “What you did out there brought out the light in your eyes. Do you know why?” Pulling herself onto the sink, her palm slid down to her bump. Perhaps this was a new stress response.

“Solving a problem is the only way to silence the voices in my head. Figuring out why my parents did what they did is probably the sole way to make her go away. As weird as that sounds, everything else would be like slapping on a band-aid.” She explained in a numb tone, my brows furrowing. “Don’t do that. Her increasing appearance means that I am getting close to something. Therapy is traumatizing to me so that really isn’t an option. Every therapist has turned me into some sort of sick project. No way in hell I am going to be another goddamn project.” Mulling over what she admitted honestly, her hands fussed with the hem of her outfit. Therapy definitely needed to occur with her, too much trauma having plagued her.

“I see but how can I trust that the mental strife will disappear after all of this mess?” I questioned stiffly, my arms folding across my chest. “Not all therapists are bad.” Cocking her brow, the left corner of her lips twitched. Annoyance burned in her eyes, stubbornness could be both her weakness and strength.

“Try being a genius on top of unusual life trials, then come talk to me!” She snapped back sarcastically, the video records proving her point. “See, you get it. Tell you what! Find someone who doesn’t care about who I am, I’ll bite. Only then will you find my ass attending.” Lowering her guard, the swinging of her cast woke up the guilt with a bitter vengeance.

“Not to scare you but I meant what I said out there. The surface is only being scratched. Somebody dug their fingers into their veins.” She continued calmly, a shadow of a smile haunting her lips. “You don’t have to marry for insurance anym-” Raising my hand into the air, that pathetic reason never existed. Spinning up to her, a bow had her laughter twinkling like bells.

“Thy dear princess, your prince wishes to be king. Worry not about that daft reason.” I comforted her playfully, a sparkle shimmering in her eyes. “Thou hath thy heart, our drums beating as one. Marriage sounds like the angels singing in the morning.” Open up her arms, the boring white bathroom didn’t want to put me to sleep for the first time in my life. Wrapping her legs around my waist, a brush of her lips against the nape of my neck painted my cheeks a deep scarlet. Using me to get back onto her chair, a goofy grin lingered on my nervous expression. Pushing her way out, her way of getting around was certainly unique. Softening my smile to a more subtle smirk, hollers from my team brought me back out. Coming out to a scene of them sorting files into the piles she asked for, this level of calmness threw me for a loop. Waving at me in the center of the chaos, true bliss shimmered in her eyes. Hours flew by with her working alongside us, more progress getting made than the last months. Finishing up with the last file, her eyes tracked everyone else leaving. Jumping onto my back, her chin rested on my shoulder. Glancing back at her lovingly, a playful smirk met mine. Carrying her to the hearse, it was clear someone had dropped her off. Sitting her down in the passenger’s side, a click confirmed her safety. Collapsing into my seat, the engine rumbled to life. Peeling away from my workplace, official looking buildings became trees. Trees became a lake, the cabin coming into view. Grunting preceding herself hopping out, the limp away had me rushing around the front of my hearse. Mavis swept her away before I could reach her, my old man skidding into my way. Donning a nice navy button up shirt and nice dress pants, anxiety swelled within me. A dream would come true tonight.

“A wonderful daughter will join my family tonight, what a treat!” He gloated jovially, his hand slamming onto my shoulder heartily, pride glistening in his eyes. “Time to get you cleaned up. Come see my surprise for you.” Following him into the A-frame, a cool Gothic suit hung off the cabinet door. Tracing the embroidered spiderwebs, his hand rested on his hips.

“She isn’t the only Cinderella around these parts.” He joked with a wink, my lips parting several times. “Please don’t protest. Being a father to you has been an honor. Besides, you tend to spoil me. Let it be my turn for a rare pocket in time. Freshen up and meet me at the dock!” Excusing myself to get changed, a few swift motions had the tailored suit hugging my slender but muscular build. Fixing the scarlet spider embroidered tie, a few adjustments of my scarlet button up shirt had me looking dapper. Stepping into my new pair of dress boots on the way out, fairy lights behaved as a guide. Time slowed, a dressed up Silks stole my breath away. Smoothing out a vintage fifties style dress, the hem floated just below her knees. Delicate lace emphasized the simplistic elegance of the ivory silk underneath, the lace traveling down her arms. Mavis stood tall and proud in front of her, her free hand fretting over the blush pink sash. Pearl pins held up a swoop of a gorgeous bun, her bangs framing her breathtaking features. Gone was the bruise, a deep Merlot red lipstick hiding her busted lip. Stumbling forward, creaks did little to stop me. Dancing across from her, a bow had her chuckling under her breath. Offering her hands, my fingers curled around hers. Noticing the sweetheart neckline, a deep ruby flushed my cheeks. A throat clearing whipped me back into reality, Mavis dusting off her silky satin black gown before pulling out a couple note cards. Words faded in and out, any attention sticking to Silks. Lights cast shadows across her face, unfiltered serenity relaxing her features. How long would it be until I see such an expression once more? A tap on my shoulder had me shifting my attention back to Miss Mavis, an expectant look causing me to panic internally.

“Do you take Silks to be your bride?” She asked politely, her palms pressing together underneath her excited grin. Silks shuffled uncomfortably across from me, stress sinking her fingers into her veins.

“I, Rip, take Silks to be my wife. I vow to cherish her in the good times and the bad. She is my princess and I am her knight. Forever she will have my heart!” I proclaimed with a quiver in my voice, her grip tightening on my hands. Focusing on relaxing Silks, her lips parted several times. Gathering her wits, the corner of her lips quivered. Silent tears stained her cheeks, that gorgeous smile never leaving her lips.

“I, Silks, take Rip to be my husband. I vow to cherish him in the good times and bad. From the first coffee made to the last, his extra sprinkle of cinnamon will always be there. Forever will he be the knight that rescued me from the shadows. Every coffee brought me closer to today, to a family that I thought I would never have.” She wept openly, mixed emotions flashing in her eyes. “The moment you stuck by my side like glue, I knew you were the one to carry me whenever I tend to get lost in my head. You have my heart, my dear knight.” My father made his way up with matching black bands in the shape of bats, happy emotions swimming in his eyes. Hugging him with a big grin, a matching smile to my real smile spread across his lips. Releasing him, such joy never existed in his marriage to his mother. Passing her my wedding band, her wedding band felt weighted in my palm. Sliding it onto our fingers together, our breath hitched at the same time. Together we were stronger, trials of life not standing a chance with her by my side.

“You may now kiss the bride!” Mavis announced loud enough to wake the dead, both of us shooting her an anxious look. Swinging her underneath me, a passionate kiss caused an explosive amount of cheers from our two attendees. Swinging her back up, confetti fluttered in the air. Catching a few pieces in her palm, another rare moment of serenity returned. Coming up with the excuse of making a celebratory dinner, the two of us remained. Collapsing into my chest, her desire to be ahead of the game had our marriage paperwork filed into the system with Mavis’ official seal. Feeling her bump rub against my abs woke up another wave of warmth, our little family growing bigger by the day. Humming the song playing when we first hung out in the music store, the desire to dance washed over me. Placing her cast and good foot onto mine, tender cheek kissed cheek. Humming became singing, her angelic voice carrying through the fall breeze. Twirling up and down the dock, no candle could hold a light to her beauty in that moment. Spinning to a clumsy stop, her hands cupped my cheeks. Showering me in feverish kisses, nothing could plunder this moment of Heaven. Releasing me from her spell, a tender moment lingered between us. Pressing our foreheads together, our breaths became one. Clasping our palms together, any strife didn’t matter. No mean parents, no bad memories.

“Can this magic moment never end?” She whispered sweetly, the words being stolen from my tongue. “How did a person drowning in the shadows find the lantern to get out of it all?” A clang interrupted me answering her, my arms placing her on my back. Whisking her up to the cabin, her favorites had her tearing up once more. Struggling through another flurry of thank yous, the American Chop Suey and taco salad pleased her more than they would ever know. Setting her down at the head of the table next to me, the tiny reception was perfect for her crippling social anxiety. Dishing her own portions, a pleasant conversation broke out. Basking in the comfort of what was in front of me, her iciness nagged in the back of my head. Shutting down any thoughts about my mother, her actions brought her to the dark place she rotted in today. If she kept her mouth shut, her ass could be at this table. Silent tears stained my cheeks, part of me wanting her here. Silks picked up on it, her hand holding mine. Understanding where I was coming from, sympathy laced her gentle smile. Leaning onto my shoulder to ground me, nothing seemed to help. Coming up with the excuse of needing to relieve myself, the bathroom became my solace. Crashing onto the toilet, clashing thoughts had me burying my face into my palms. Tapping my foot incessantly, every breath began to shorten. A creak brought me out of it, a tuckered out Silks brought her bump to my cheek.

“Whatever you are feeling is valid.” She sniffled brokenly, her wet eyes meeting mine. “Part of me wants my parents here as well. One is dead and one is in jail. Hell, he refuses to talk to me. I can’t blame him. Would you talk to the murderer of your true love? Fuck, I can see it from both sides. If you want a relationship with your mother, I won’t stop you.” Embracing her bump with desperation, the emotional dam broke. Wild emotions soaked her dress, everything hitting me at once. Running her fingers through my hair like the old times, sweet comfort slowed the tears. Glancing up at her, her loving gaze was all I needed. No, that bitch’s conditional love was the last thing I desired.

“No, I don’t. You don’t need him.” I shot back with a shaky determined expression, a bit of life returning to her eyes. “Our family is in the other room. No one else matters! No one else. Family doesn’t attack you or harm you mentally. They hurt you and she hurt you! Enough is enough, damn it!” Holding me until I was ready to go, something grew stronger between us. Helping me to my feet, her arms draped around my neck. Hoisting her legs around my waist, cinnamon drifted up my nose.

“Cinnamon relaxes you, right? So I decided to wear a perfume with it. Do you like it?” She queried softly into my ear, a simple nod answering her. Sniffing it, the memories of the years of smiles flashed in my head. Stopping at the current moment, every cell in me didn’t want to let go. Concerned voices echoed outside the door, the rest of my family reminding me of what I had. Asking if I could carry her back out, her wish was my command. Sinking into my place at the head of the table, her weight on my lap kept my anxiety and depression at bay. Staring up at the ceiling, a silent prayer was in order. Please grant me the solace to continue this insanely gifted life.