Freedom

As the train passed through the countryside, Amelia took in everything she could. Her fingers picked nervously; absently, at the edges of her shirt while she watched the world around her speed by. Every once in a while, movement out of the corner of her eye would force her gaze towards the now crowded cab, and ice would travel up her veins. This was all new to her. She tried taking deep breaths, knitting, even engaging in conversation with no one in particular but she could not escape the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Each mile that crept by, each hour that ticked away from her, was another she knew she could be found. The thought struck her with memories she had carefully tucked away and she winced as phantom pain spread throughout her abdomen. One memory surfaced despite her efforts and Amelia watched, uselessly, as her mom brought back her foot and then swung it forward with all her might. Biting back a shriek, she doubled over in her seat and gripped the edges of it so tightly, one of her fingernails bent backward as the flashback ended. A few drops of blood fell to the floor and her eyes locked onto it. Somehow, with the real pain, it was easier to breathe now. Her body relaxed, she sat back, and allowed sleep to finally carry her from her worries.

It felt like no time at all before she was awoken by the train conductor. “Hey, girl, you gotta get off now. This is the last stop.” He spoke gruffly, pointing towards the open door before hobbling back towards the front of the train. Amelia tensed visibly as she looked out over the empty platform. It wasn’t easy to find her legs with anxiety running full-force but she managed to grab her overhead bag and shuffle off the train. Not a second had passed before the doors slammed shut behind her and the train took off down the tracks. She was all alone now. It was… eerie on the platform, with the walls graffiti-ridden and dirty with years of neglect illuminated by the lights flickering in oddly specific intervals, and the soft scuttling of the rats scurrying through the piles of garbage that lay abandoned all around her. Amelia was unsure of her next move but she knew she had to make one. The platform opened up from a single staircase against the far wall, leading up into what she suspected was the main lobby. It was all or nothing time. After a few deep breaths, Amelia took to the stairs two at a time, climbing so quickly she wondered how she didn’t misstep once she got to the top. The lobby was as empty as the platform save for the ticket taker in his booth and someone snoring soundly in a bucket seat shoved into the corner. The exit door was hard to miss with it being one of the only entries for light the building seemed to have and Amelia hesitated only momentarily before taking a few steps forward, arm outstretched for the handle. She flinched back from the heat of the sunlight that flooded through the door when a flashback smacked her like a brick and she was back in her childhood home. The windows were boarded with wood and tarp, the floors were littered with soda cans, trash, and thousands of used needles. Her breathing was labored as her mother stood over her, a lit cigarette hanging from her fingertips, poised to strike the skin of Amelia’s wrist. This was what she was running from. A home of nothing but neglect and fear. She came to once the cigarette had been put out and she rubbed away the pain that lingered in her memory. Once again she was standing in the train station. There was no longer any hesitation when she pulled open the door. The sun beamed eagerly down at her, greeting her to the freedom she had sought so desperately. She realized the heat was not searing and hurtful at all, but gentle; an easy warmth that engulfed her like an embrace. Before she realized it, she was gulping down the fresh, clear air greedily and tears fell freely from her eyes as she did so. Her mind whirled at the new sights around her; the buildings that towered hundreds of feet above, the street vendors that were selling their wares as easily as the people sitting in their shops… She had been outside only a handful of times and each time was shorter than the time before. Until she was 2 years without sunlight or love and she made a break for it. Her hand reached into her pocket, pulling from it the only picture she had of her father. He had spoken of a sanctuary; a haven where nothing could hurt you. A place he wanted to take her before the accident ripped them all apart; ripped HER apart. She continued to walk down the streets, weaving this way and that through the crowds to find what she was looking for, and then, there it was. Her hand caught the sob that escaped from her lips and she doubled over again. This time there was no pain. She looked back at the sight before her and cried out despite herself. It was a simple fountain, sitting in the middle of a garden of flowers. Not an inch of ground was spared from nature's dominance. The water that shot from the mouth of the stone mermaid sitting atop the fountain trickled down into the pool at the bottom, which sparkled with the wishes of travelers past. A set of lounge swings were placed on either side of it creating a perfect view. It was like a painting, perfectly cut out and placed here, just for her. She placed the picture of her father on the fountain, allowing another few tears to fall before she turned towards the city before her, and began a new journey.

This was freedom.