"We interrupt your..."

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this important announcement. " These are the words that followed the incessant high pitched buzz coming out of the sound bar beneath the flat-screen informing us that something major has occurred somewhere in the world.

Jenny wondered out loud, "What the hell else could possibly be going wrong in the world this time?" As if there wasn't already enough bullshit with the vid, the rona, or covid-19...whatever you choose to call it. The pandemic has taken society and thrown it upside down. We used to be sociable as a whole, now most people avoid each other. You know, don't make eye contact, I don't see you, you don't talk to me. The overall friendliness in society is gone, for now at least.

Next Jenny heard one of her favorites on the nightly news. "I'm Dick Hardwood and this is KBUD TV with a special news bulletin." Wow, she thought. This must really be important to preempt whatever nonsense she was watching. Dick continued, "Everybody who has been wearing N95 face masks is going to die. I repeat, everyone who has been wearing N95 facemasks is doomed to death."

What did he say? Did he just say death? As in no more? For wearing the mask? Wtf is going on?

And just as quick as the fear set in, shw heard her favorite news anchor announce "April fools! Nobody is gonna die from wearing N95 masks."

Not yet at least. We will hear about some kind of class action lawsuits in the near future. Something along the lines of "Have you our a loved one been diagnosed with n95 respiratory failure? If so, join our class action suit against..." blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What a bad joke. What a bad,bad, joke. But for some reason it was kinda funny all things considered. I suppose dark humor is better than no humor.

Dick continued, "Now for the real breaking news story we go to Ivy at the KBUD TV action desk. Ivy…,"

"Thanks Dick. What an unbelievable afternoon. This is an unprecedented move by our nation's government." Ivy's voice was unwavering, however she was obviously very excited about the information she had to share with the KBUD viewers. "As of today, all previous debts are to be erased. You heard correct. All previous debts including home loans, auto loans,, school loans, payday loans and more are to be immediately and permanently forgiven as paid in full."

Jenny couldn't believe what she just heard. Oh, this would be unbelievable. It would help so much. No debt. What a turn of events. Could it be possible.

And then she remembered Dick Hardwood's N95 mask April fools joke from less than a minute ago. Why wouldn't Ivy have an equally impressive prank? She wouldn't. Would she?

No. This is the real deal. This would be a very true event being broadcast in many languages all across our country and beyond. Complete debt forgiveness for everyone. No catches, no strings attached...100% paid in full. All night there were videos posted of people celebrating the opportunity to start fresh, from ground zero, debt free. Now of course, any debt incurred from this day forward will have to be repaid.

With all if the excitement of the day, Jenny was completely worn out. It was time for some much needed sleep. As she lay there, Jenny could not help but to think about the new possibilities that lay before her. Without having to spend most of her check to repay multiple loans, maybe, just maybe she could go and open her own business. Who knows. Closing her eyes , she fell into a deep sleep.

After a restful night, Jenny awoke with high hopes for the day. How could she not what with all the happenings from the day before. First thing, she poured herself a hot cup of coffee doused with her favorite hazelnut creamer. Next she dropped two halves of an English muffin in her toaster, a rickety toaster that would soon be replaced now that there was going to be plenty of extra cash to spend. Jenny thought out loud, "I sure could use some retail therapy today, in the form of shopping!" And that's what she was going to do, shop until she drops. At least that's what she thought, until she picked up her phone and saw the devastating news feeds.

After yesterday being one of the best days ever, to today appearing to be the single worst day in history, the news feeds were all bad. Not even one tiny bit of good news. All the headlines were roughly the same..."The almighty American dollar is worthless!" Over night the value of the dollar disappeared. All United States currency is now worth less than the paper it is printed upon. Go figure. Never will the citizens of the United States trust their government again. Ever!

Our elected officials, all of them, state and federal alike have let the people of this great nation down, again.

They all had to have known yesterday that this would be the case today. Yet they played out this charade about how they have passed the greatest law ever eliminating all debt. What a crock. Debt free. Hah! More like broke. Wholly shit, really broke. Can't even buy a pack of gum broke. Unbelievable.

"Beeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beeeep, beeeep." "What the …" Just then Jenny realized her alarm was going off. Her alarm? Could this all have been a really bad dream? Not possible. It was to real, or was it?

Jenny jumped out of her bed, raced into her living room, grabbed the remote and turned on KBUD TV news. There was anchorman extraordinaire Dick Hardwood, all smiles, broadcasting the morning news. "What a great morning to wake up debt free," he reported.

"That's it! That's what happened. I must have been still asleep and having a nightmare about being broke." Jenny spent the next 20 minutes or so scouring the news feeds to find evidence that money was worth nothing. There was no evidence to be found. All personal debt is gone and the United States dollar is still worth something. "Guess I'm still going shopping," Jenny said aloud.

And as she was hitting the power off button on her remote Jenny heard the words "Until the next big breaking news,this is Dick Hardwood for KBUD TV signing off, debt free and clear."