Electric Earth

The rain pours down around me. I forgot my umbrella and the water soaks through my clothes. I don’t mind. I never have. The only complaint I have is that my shoes and socks have been drowned in dirty city rain, making a sick squelching sound with every step that I shouldn’t be able to hear over the traffic and quick steps of my fellow commuters. Everyone around me runs from cover to cover. Umbrellas, purses, or newspapers held overhead as they try to protect themselves. I’m sure I look crazy casually walking in the downpour. I’m in no hurry.

I’m on my way home from an internship. I smell like dirty fish water from cleaning aquarium quarantine tanks. But I almost always smell like this on my walk home. You get used to it. Besides, if I’m going to be around fish for the rest of my career, I might as well get used to it now.

It takes me only a few more minutes to get to my destination: a brick apartment building where I live with my boyfriend. He won’t be here for a while and for a moment that makes me sad but I quickly recover and start up the walkway to the double doors. 

The rose bushes lining the front of the building are doing surprisingly well this summer and I can’t resist stopping to admire them. Each blooming, light pink bud has collected water and they resemble delicate cups. Their fruity scent hits my nose and I smile as I turn from them and head inside. 

My shoes squeak loudly on the once-white, now-beige tiles. I try to make my way to the stairs as quickly as I can, feeling as if everyone in the building can hear each step even though there’s no one around. 

Our apartment is on the fifth floor, top of the building, and while I don’t want to go up that many flights of stairs, I don’t trust the sad excuse of an elevator. Elevators freak me out enough without moaning and groaning with every turn of the pulleys and stopping with sudden jerks every time it reaches a new floor.

My waterlogged sneakers continue to squeak and for a brief minute, I consider taking them off and continuing up the stairs in my socks but I decide against it when I see all the muddy steps of the other people who live here. I’d rather not walk through that without the protection of my plastic soles.  

Once I finally reach the top and arrive at my door, I pull my keys out of my back pocket and unlock the door. I scoop the mail off the floor that the mail carrier pushed through the little slot in the door and step inside. As soon as it clicks shut behind me and I hear the lock latch, I let out a deep sigh. It’s good to be home.

I finally kick off my shoes and place them beside the door before peeling off my socks and keeping them in hand to take to the washer. I hang my keys on the hook attached to the wall and drop the mail on the coffee table as I make my way towards the bathroom. Our studio apartment may be kinda small but I like how we’re never too far apart when we’re both home. 

I throw my socks in the washer outside the bathroom before taking off the rest of my all-black outfit and throwing it in too. I don't start the cycle yet, though. I’ll wait till after my shower so it doesn’t take any of my warm water. I immediately step into the bathroom and start the water. While it heats up, I unbraid the two buns in my hair and take them down before placing my glasses on the corner of the sink. I’m cold by the time I step in the shower and I welcome the heat.

I try not to spend too much time in here since I have a paper to work on but I end up staying long after I’ve washed the fish off my skin and out of my hair. It’s peaceful and quiet and hard to convince myself to get out just to sit down at a desk and write about something I don’t care that much about. It’s one of only a few papers left before I finally get my degree, though, so I shut off the water. 

I throw back the shower curtain and wrap a purple towel around myself as I step over the edge of the tub. The mirror is foggy and the room smells like lavender. A strange, pale shadow faces me as I clean off my glasses and put them back on. It’s the hazy silhouette of my reflection in the mirror. 

Leaving the bathroom, I stop to turn on the washer before I continue towards my dresser to get some clothes. I start to tug on the handles but change my mind, deciding instead to go over to my boyfriend’s dresser and steal one of his shirts. I’m sure he won’t mind. I pull it over my head and watch it fall just above my knees. Perfect. 

I walk over to the desk and power on my laptop. A document pops up with the prompt and a few points already typed out. At least I’ve got a small start. Before I sit down, I open the curtains to the window in front of the desk. It’s stopped raining. Everything is completely drenched but the sun is out, making the world almost glow as the light reflects off the water left behind. I reach across the desk and unlock the large window. I open it and take a deep breath of the fresh air. I love the way the world smells after a fierce rainstorm.

Suddenly, I’m hit with a memory so intensely it knocks the wind out of me. 

The last day of summer camp. The first time I’d ever been away from home. I was seventeen and I’d met the love of my life during that brief week. We stood in front of the dorms they’d housed all 200 of us in. It was time to get on the buses but we didn’t want to go. We lived hours apart and at our ages, that was too far to get to see each other. I felt so hopeless and broken. I didn’t want to leave the boy I’d fallen for so hard, so fast. 

There we stood, suitcase and duffle bag in hand. It was time to go our separate ways. I could tell he was nervous and when he asked for a hug goodbye, I said yes a little too quickly. I couldn’t help it. He had no idea how badly I wanted to be in his arms. 

He dropped his duffle and I sat my pillow on top of my suitcase. For a moment, we just stood there unsure what to do. Then he opened his arms and I fell into them. I wrapped my arms around him so hard, begging myself not to cry. I heard a surprised gasp escape him and for a second, I was scared it was too much. I was scared I’d messed up. But his arms began to slowly move around me and he held me so tight.

The whole world went silent. Dozens of teenagers and parents moved around us but I couldn't hear a single one of them. For all I knew, we were the only two people on the planet. I could hear his heart pounding in my ear and I could feel every breath he took. His arms completely enclosed me. I’d never felt safer. I’d never felt more loved.

I took a deep breath and my nose was filled with his scent: electrified earth. That’s the only way to describe it. He smelt the way the planet does after a summer lightning storm. Static filled air. Warm, wet, clean earth. My favorite smell in the world.

He let go of me and I was pulled back into the present. I haven’t thought about that day in so long. It was years ago. 

I sit down in my desk chair, tears welling up in my eyes. I don’t know if they’re happy or sad tears. My heart aches at the memory. It felt like I was there again. It felt like I was back at the beginning of what would be forever with my favorite person. I miss him. 

As if the universe heard my thoughts, I hear the door click open behind me. He’s barely through the door before I’m up and running towards him, tears falling down my cheeks. He locks the door and turns around to see me standing in front of him.

“Baby, don’t. I’m-” he starts. Before he can finish, I throw my arms around him and melt into his body. “..dirty.”

I don't care if he’s dirty from working all day. I don’t care that he smells like burning metal. I can still smell him underneath all that. Electric earth. My boyfriend.

“Are you okay?” he asks, holding me tightly against him.

“I am now.”

“Well...” He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him, not letting go for a second. “You know how much I love being greeted at the door like that, especially while you’re wearing my shirt.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

He gently sets me down on the armrest of the couch and I let him go so he can take a shower.

I watch him disappear behind the door with a smile on my face. My body slips off the armrest and onto the couch cushion. I close my eyes and let my mind drift back to that day, the smell of him still in my nose...