Compromise

Mara was sulking in her bedroom. This was becoming a rather common occurrence for her. Downstairs was the Christmas tree, fully decorated and lit up in the living room of the house she’d been living in for just three months. Normally, Mara loved decorating the Christmas tree, but this morning, while her father, step-mother Valerie, and step sister Janice, were decorating the tree, she was sulking in her bedroom. It was Thanksgiving Day, and Mara felt it should be illegal to put the tree up so early. She and her family always put the tree up on the first Saturday of December. However, it was her step-family’s tradition to put it up on Thanksgiving Day, and her father told her that this year, the holidays would require compromise from both sides of the family. Her father talked about the importance of compromise often over the last few months. Somehow, it felt like Mara was the only one who had to compromise.

           Janice didn’t have to give up her Christmas Tree tradition, but Mara did. Janice’s mother was here for Thanksgiving, but Mara’s mother was on the other side of the state. Janice didn’t have to change schools when their parents got married, but Mara had to leave behind all of her friends. Now, Mara wouldn’t even be spending Thanksgiving with her family. Valerie’s parents, brother, and sister were coming to their house, along with some of Janice’s cousins. Mara just really wanted to spend the holidays with her family. Instead, she felt as though she was sharing the holidays with strangers.

           *knock knock*

           “What?” Mara snapped. Her bedroom door creaked open, and Janice entered. The two seventh graders were only a couple of months apart, but Mara often felt that they were ages apart mentally.

           “Why didn’t you help us with the tree?” Janice asked, her voice soft.

           “You’re not supposed to put up the tree on Thanksgiving. You’re supposed to wait until December,” Mara rolled her eyes.

           “We’ve always put it up on Thanksgiving. It’s tradition” Janice shrugged.

           “Well, it’s a stupid tradition.”

           “My mom said we have to compromise. We’re doing some of your family’s traditions, and we’re doing some of my family’s.”

           “We’re only doing what your family wants to do!” Mara argued in exasperation.

           “That’s not true!”

           “Is so!”

           “It’s just a tree! Why does it matter what day we put it up? Who cares?” Janice exclaimed.

           “It’s not just the tree! I’m the one who had to switch schools, I’m the one who had to move out of my house and away from my family, and you haven’t had to do anything! You haven’t lost anything!” Mara was yelling now.

           “I had to do that too!” Janice yelled back.

           “No, you haven’t. Get out,” Mara huffed. Tired of arguing, Janice turned and left the bedroom, leaving her stepsister to continue to sulk.

What a stupid thing to say. She didn’t move out of her house or change schools or give up her holiday traditions. She gets all of her family. I’m the one who keeps losing. Mara thought to herself.

***

           It seemed like Mara was always in a bad mood. Anytime Janice tried to get along with her, Mara would push her away. It was clear that Mara did not like her. Janice was easily the happier of the two, but after being around Mara, she was often in a bad mood, as she was after arguing with Mara. How dare Mara imply Janice didn’t know what she was going through? She was fully aware that Janice’s father had passed away when she was seven after a six-month battle with cancer. After her father died, people made a point to tell Janice’s family that he had in fact won the battle with cancer. Janice had always felt like the reality was that even if he did win his battle, she still lost. That year, it felt like all Janice did was lose. She lost her father, and soon after, her mother could not stand living in the same house her husband died, so the two moved. Her mother fell into a depression for a several months, and during that time, not a single holiday was celebrated. The next year, when her mother had come out of her depression, the two made new holiday traditions, along with keeping some of their old ones. Janice’s favorite was putting up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day. There were pictures of her and her father decorating the tree together. When her mother explained the holiday traditions would have to include compromise this year, Janice was adamant about keeping the tradition of putting the tree up on Thanksgiving Day. It was the only tradition she felt really cared bout keeping, yet Mara was acting like it was the end of the world.

           “And then, she told me to leave. She’s impossible,” Janice ranted to her mother, who was just about to put the turkey in the oven. Janice was clearly correct about this situation, and she wanted the backup from her mother.

           “I think Mara is right,” Janice’s mother responded calmly.

           “What?! How can you say that?! She’s being ridiculous!” Janice tried to convince her.

           “Or, do you think maybe she is just struggling? She’s had a lot of change this year,” her mother tried to explain.

           “So have I,” Janice reminded her.

           “Of course, you have. But you also didn’t change houses or schools.”

           “She’s acting like she’s the only one to ever lose something. I had to change houses and schools when Dad died. It’s not like I don’t understand her,” Janice continued complaining.

           “Did you tell her that?”

           “Tell her what?”

           “That you understand.”

           “No,” Janice answered, her voice softer.

           “Maybe you should,” her mother said after placing the turkey in the oven. Janice sighed and walked out of the kitchen, suddenly feeling as though she’d approached the situation incorrectly.

***

*Knock knock*

“Yeah?” Mara answered. Janice opened the door, and her stepsister rolled her eyes before asking what she wanted.

“You know I’ve done all of this before,” Janice stated. She noticed the tear stains on Mara’s face, but she didn’t say anything about it.

“Done all of what?” Mara asked, confused.

“You know… Moving houses, changing schools. The year my dad died, we didn’t even celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas. It sucked,” Janice explained.

“You didn’t do anything?”

“Not that year. A couple of months after my dad died, my mom and I moved here. After the funeral and the move, I guess the shock wore off for my mom. She’d go to work and the grocery store, but she didn’t leave much other than that. She’d spend most of her time at home in bed or on the couch. She rarely cooked and hardly talked to me. I was seven, so I thought she was mad at me. But then, she got some help, and the next year, we celebrated holidays again. My favorite tradition has always been putting the tree up on Thanksgiving. The first time we celebrated holidays without my dad was really hard,” Janice went on.

“When did things feel normal again?” Mara asked, listening intently. Janice shrugged.

“They never really felt normal again. My mom and I created a new normal. Things never felt the way they were before, but they did feel okay again,” Janice answered.

“Then, isn’t it annoying having to make a new normal again now that my dad and I are here?” Mara questioned.

“Not really. I’ve done it before, so I know we’ll do it again. Besides, it feels nice to have you guys here. It almost feels like a family again,” Janice smiled.

“Almost?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it will eventually feel like a family, but I’m okay with it feeling just almost for now,” Janice confirmed. Mara nodded, but didn’t say anything. She was absorbing all that her stepsister had told her.

***

A few hours had gone by, and family members were beginning to arrive. Janice had been introducing Mara to each family member that entered the home. The two girls and some of Janice’s cousins were in Janice’s bedroom, waiting for dinner to be ready.

           “We always go around the table and say what we’re thankful for,” Janice told Mara.

           “Yeah, we go in order from oldest to youngest,” Kelsey, one of Janice’s younger cousins added.

           “Does your family do that too?” Janice asked.

           “We do it differently. We write what we’re thankful for on a tablecloth that goes on the table. Then, at dinner we say what we each wrote. We write it in a different color every year so that we don’t lose track,” Mara explained.

           “That sounds fun! We should do that!” Janice exclaimed, jumping up and running out of the room. Mara and the cousins followed Janice downstairs.

           “Mom! Mara and her family always write what they’re thankful for on the tablecloth! Can we do that too?” Janice asked excitedly.

           “Oh, girls, I don’t know. This is a nice tablecloth,” her mother tried to explain.

           “Please? Dad, don’t you think this would be so fun?” Mara begged.

           “Yeah, you both said we have to compromise!” Janice reminded them. The married couple smiled before conceding. The girls ran to grab a marker, deciding on an orange marker since it was fall. Over the next hour, each family member made a point to write something on the tablecloth.

           After praying over the meal, each family member went around and said what they wrote. They decided to go in order of oldest to youngest, since that was Janice’s family’s tradition.

           “Mara, it’s your turn. What are you thankful for?” her father asked, peering over the basket of rolls in an attempt to see what she had written. Janice spoke up before Mara could.

           “Mara and I wrote the same thing,” Janice giggled.

           “What did you write?” he asked again. Mara smiled proudly.

           “I’m thankful for compromise.”