After The Party Ends

I closed the door gently. Vanessa picked up a shirt. On her way up, she caught me rolling my eyes.. She laughed for some reason.

"It's not funny." I said.

"Tell that to your face."

I forced on a smile. How she found a drunken proposal funny was beyond me.

I put my hand on my hips as I took in the extent of the damage. It didn't look too bad. I licked my lips. On a second thought, it does. We'll what did I expect? I left Vanessa in charge.

"We'll be done in a minute." Vanessa said.

Her lips said that but her face said something else.

"You know we won't."

I walked quickly to the kitchen for a broom. Even the kitchen was trashed. Mum isn't going to like that. She doesn't like anything now. How would she react to this? I could hear her voice in my head, telling how much I always disappoint her.

Vanessa wasn't too bothered. Of course she wasn't. Mum's gonna blame me, not her. As always.

Why did I let her talk me into this? I could have said no. Come to think of it, I actually said that. Kinda.

"If you keep frowning like that, you're never gonna get rid of that frown line on your forehead." She sang.

I ignored her and began collecting the shards of glass to a heap with the broom. Deep down, I was glad that glass was broken. It was hideous. I hoped mum thought same. I knew she wouldn't. I pray she never notices that it's gone. If she does, I'll blame it on the cat.

"Where's Garry?"

Vanessa shrugged. She inspected her nails.

"Don't you care that he's not here?"

"He'll come around."

"Of course he will." I said under my breath. She heard me.

"Fine. I'll go look for him."

"Good."

I watched her leave. I got rid of the shards. The place reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. I didn't remember buying those. I don't think I had to. They brought it themselves.

"Can't find him." Vanessa said.

"We're so dead."

"Chill. I'm sure he's in here somewhere."

"Oh maybe, one of your guests took him away."

"No. They wouldn't do that."

"They're your friends. They can."

"Stop hating on them."

"When you get reasonable ones, I will."

She ignored me. She helped me clean up. When I looked at her after a few minutes, she had a wide smile on her face.

"Why are you so happy?"

"This night was a blast!"

I couldn't catch her enthusiasm.

"Was it?"

"Duh! Wanna know what's even better?"

"No."

"They all came! Everyone came. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes. We ruined the house. Now get cleaning."

A cushion hit me in the face. I glared at her. She pouted. Cute.

"Don't be such a downer. You wanted wanted this party to happen. You know it."

"I know I wanted you to invite three people. Not half the school."

"Shh. Be quiet twinnie. You wanted this. Deep down, you did. I know."

I said nothing hoping she would too. That only made her feel like pushing my buttons even harder.

"I told you Bea. I'm always right. You have to accept that."

I avoided her eyes. She used the voice I hated. So obnoxious. If only I could throw her out the window.

She walked to me. She hugged me from behind. She laughed.

"Smile a little, will you?"

"We need to clean up."

"We will. After you smile."

"Mum will be here soon."

"Then hurry with that smile."

"Vanessa!"

She flinched. She backed away. She walked past me.

"Okay. Okay. You don't have to shout.Geez."

I sighed. She wasn't going to let it go just like that. She never does.

"I guess this is what I get for trying to make you cool."

"Enough with that."

"Don't you get tired of sitting alone? Without friends?"

"Don't go there. Please."

"When will you realise books can't be you only companions. I mean, when will you ditch your diary and start talking to living people. I don't like seeing you so alone all the time Bea. You deserve better. That's what I want to give you. I want to help you because I love you."

I looked at her.

"You hypocrite."

"What?"

"You are trying to help me? You?!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I scoffed.

"I have no friends because of you! You started the rumour that drove them away!"

"I didn't!"

"Don't you dare lie to me."

She crossed her arms.

"I'm not lying."

"Quit the act. Jane told me everything. How you ruined my social life."

"Don't be so dramatic. I didn't ruin your social life. I made you popular."

"You're kidding right? You thought that dance video made me popular?"

I didn't try to hide the hurt and disbelief from my voice.

"Okay fine. It didn't. I know. But you gotta admit, it was hilarious."

She proceeded to demonstrate my humiliating attempt to dance one of Blackpink's iconic moves before bursting with laughter.

My face heated up. My eyes burned.

"You're unbelievable."

I returned to cleaning up. I did whatever I could do to keep my tears from falling.

"Bea."

I didn't respond to her call. How could she be so mean?

"Bea. Come on. It was a joke."

"To you. You sent that to him. Even when you knew I liked him. Now he won't even look at me."

"Who? Alvin? He never liked you."

"Yeah now he never will. Thanks Nessa. Is there anything else in my life you would like to ruin?"

"Beatrice..."

Her lips trembled. She looked down. I wiped away the tears before she lifted her head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't know-"

"Yeah you do. You wanted to be the cooler one. Now you are. Congratulations" I said bitterly.

I couldn't stop her from hugging me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She didn't have to say more. She meant it and I knew that. But that didn't stop it from hurting.

"Alright enough of that. We need to get cleaning."

I wiggled my way out of her arms. She smiled at me. She nodded.

"You're right. We do."

We did just that for a few minutes before Vanessa began to cry.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh Bea, I'm such a terrible person."

I didn't disagree with that.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her softly.

She sniffed. I wiped away her tears. She look in my eyes and a fresh wave replaced the ones I had just wiped.

"Why are you crying?"

"You're never going to forgive me. I'm so sorry Bea. I am."

I took a step back.

"What have you done?"

She looked at me for support but I wasn't going to give any till I knew the truth.

"What have you done?"

She covered her hands with her face. My phone buzzed. I took it from my back pocket.

"No. Don't." Vanessa said immediately.

I opened the message. They were pictures. Of my diary. Even worse, the grammatical errors were underlined and the whole thing was graded a 10%.

My hands trembled.

"How could you?!"

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry."

She sobbed. I didn't care. I didn't care that we weren't done cleaning up. Or Garry was at my feet. I was stuck in the painful feeling of betrayal. My own eyes teared up.

I fell down to the ground. I didn't get up when I heard the car in the driveway. Or when Vanessa tried to get me on my feet. I felt something erupt in my heart. A feeling I had battled long ago. It was strong.

When her eyes met mine, I knew. I hated her.