Disappeared in the Tenebris

Dishes piled up, juice on the floor, food on the table leftover from last night, someone is crying. Inhaling a deep breathe Ashley mumbles, "Good morning," while shaking her head. But see this is the normal now in her household, especially since she's mentally checking out. A husband and three children later, she's becoming so disconnected she just wants to disappear...she wishes that often. She's thought about leaving, but where would she go? Somehow she managed to run through her savings so no rainy day fund. Trying to escape to a place that doesn't exist. Ashley loved her family; more than life itself , but she was exhausted. So overwhelmed she couldn't find not an minute of time to get to herself. She needed an escape but help would never come.

After Ashley's routine of preparing breakfast and getting children fed; they're off to school. Hubby is home sleeping from late night shift of work and game playing till the wee hours of the morning. No issue because she fell asleep pretty early...hence the messy kitchen. Arriving back home with only one hour and a half time to spare before her part time shift at a department store. She starts to wash the dishes, and wipe down the kitchen table and chairs. Stove top cleaning is next because spaghetti was on the menu last night. After sweeping the floor Ashley becomes lightheaded. Grabbing a seat to rest for a second until the episode passes. It seems nowadays her vertigo flare ups are happening more and more frequently. Only adds to the problems of her life, but hey she has to keep going. Once she assures herself that she's balanced she gets up and decides to just get ready for work. A quick shower and only ten minutes to spare before its time to walk out the door. He's still sleeping so a quick kiss on his forehead and out the door she went.

Arriving at work Ashley sees the mall parking lot is slammed packed. Which means its going to be a busy day for her; sales to be made. Thing is anxiety is setting in, and she doesn't really want to face the crowd. Nervousness radiated through her body making her feel like she wants to throw up. Ringing from her phone snapped her back to reality and she quickly answered. It was her bestie telling her to cancel all plans that night, she was going out with her for much needed drinks. Ashley thought about the idea and agreed because that's exactly what she needed. Realizing at this point she was considered late, Ashley said her goodbyes and gathered her purse and keys.

Five hours later Ashley rushing to the school to pick up her youngest child; and making it home in time to release the car to her husband for work. While parting their ways a wave of sadness washes over her; she barely had time to feel his arms around her. She missed being intimate as well due to their conflicting work schedules. "Mommy" a voice screamed; "I'm hungry." Ashley goes to get her baby boy some snacks and something to keep him occupied while she prepared dinner. Halfway through completing her meal, the phone rang, and it's the school principal. Her oldest daughter was removed from class for being disrespectful once again. She's been showing out lately, but Ashley figured it was just a phase, a rising eleven year old. Once Ashley assured the principal she would speak with her daughter, she ended the call. Upon hanging up Ashley realized she had a message from her husband; he had to work the late shift until 4am. AAAAAh!!! She screamed. She was sick of not being able to spend time with him. Highly frustrated she continued to finish up dinner. Glancing at the clock she notices her other two children will arrive within the hour; then it suddenly hits her. Tonight is the night she agreed to bake the cupcakes for the school bake sale tomorrow, and keep her nephews while her sister finished her shift. "Oh my goodness" Ashley closed her eyes and cried out. "O How I really wish I could disappear right now!"

All of of a sudden, it felt like everything stopped. Ashley couldn't understand what she was seeing. Nothing was there. Just her and the darkness. Ashley couldn't hear not one sound but he own voice quivering with fear. "Where am I'?" Darkness surrounded her. No one was there...no one...and not one thing. Tenebris ! Why can’t they hear me? I'm screaming .

I'm crying . I’m praying to God to make it stop.

Why can’t anyone see me? I’m battered!

I'm bruised! I’m running out of time on life’s clock !I’m not sure where the hell I am anymore?

Why can’t they catch me?

I want to jump.

I’m falling

I’m drowning in my own thoughts. Ashley had disappeared into Darkness. Her wish finally came true; not what she expected …she disappeared to become trapped...trapped inside the darkness of her mind. She had disappeared to a sunken place and there was no rescue coming. It sounds like a clock is ticking and she slowly seems to regain conscience and feeling in her hands and body. Ashley get up is what she's thinking. She tries to speak it but nothing comes out. Tick tock tick tock tick tock is drumming in her ears; and the beating of her heart is louder and faster than any car engine. "Breathe child breathe. "Ashley faintly heard in the distant. "You have to breathe and get up...you have the power." Ashley listened and couldn't really understand who was speaking but the clock stopped; her heart was back to normal. She was coming back to herself...the light was on; but she was still alone. It felt like she was given a new light of life. Ashley knew everything was going to be okay. She's a determined powerful woman. ..and then she opened her eyes.