New Year's Resolutions Bah!

          New Year’s Resolutions Bah!

Suzanne Marsh

Each and every year since I was seven; I have made New Year’s resolutions. I stare at a blank piece of paper; it stares back. I decided this year to write down five New Year’s resolutions; attempting to stick to them this year. At seventy-three years of age, one would think that I would have by now managed to stick to at least one resolution; I am trying but not succeeding.

My first New Year’s resolution is to write more. I have said this for the last eight years. How is it that never happens? There is a word that says it all PROCRASTINATION! Yes, one word that sums up most of my New Year’s resolutions. I have procrastinated for years; actually, if it could be a good quality, I would have the situation well in hand; however, procrastination does not work that way. Over the years I have procrastinated about beginning a novel I have wanted to write for over twenty years. Now that truly is procrastination; my resolution this year is to write the damn novel! My plan is to do the first draft in ninety days: beginning today. I really should have done this a while ago; it would be wonderful to at least have accomplished that.

My second New Year’s resolution is to go back to the gym. I went for six months about four years ago. I did a great deal of moaning and groaning and thought that it was simply not for me. Turns out I really should return because honestly, I cannot stick to my own exercise regime. Don’t get me wrong, I have tried and failed twice now. Maybe the third time will be the charm. Getting back to my trips to the gym. I have never been very disciplined and learning to exercise at the ripe old age of sixty-eight I decided I would try. The young girl that set up the routine of exercise for me was quite helpful. I discovered muscles I had no idea I had. I discovered aches I had never had before. I almost broke my neck learning to sit on an exercise ball. I kept rolling off. The torture devices in that gym especially one that I thought was going to do me in. The one that stands out in my mind; no, I don’t know what it is called but I can describe it. This machine you have to use your knees to open and close it. I managed to get it open but slowly closing it was a project that made me question the wisdom of going to the gym.

My third New Year’s resolution I think might just do me in. I love sweets however they don’t like me; I am allergic to sugar. You would think that it would be an easy thing to give up sugar. Don’t kid yourself it is very difficult. I have had a “sweet tooth” since I was a young child especially peppermints in any shape or form. I have tried to do this several times. The last time was the beginning of this year. I fell off the wagon after six months. Once again, I am going to try. My husband is a great baker and make wonderful fudge. Trying to say no to peanut butter fudge is like trying to say no to the rain. I am going to do this; I am going to stop eating sugar for my health; now all I have to do is convince my mind of that effort.

My fourth New Year’s resolution is to learn to play the Irish Whistle in d. It looked so easy when I bought the thing. I play the bagpipes so this should be easy. Not exactly. The fingering is certainly similar, and the good thing is the holes are easier to cover. So where exactly does the resolution come in? I have to practice, once again this comes back to my not being well discipled. This is not an excuse; this is simply fact. I bought the whistle last year and have toyed with it ever since. Today, I managed to get the first clear tone I have had yet. Strange, I can read notes, I can follow directions and this thing will drive me crazy until I figure out how to use it. Each day I practice the thing gets a little easier. My objective is to play Amazing Grace accompanied by the choir I direct.

My fifth New Year’s resolution is to have my bagpipes repaired. They have been in the hot and cold garage for over fifteen years. The chanter has cracked and cannot be played. I truly miss playing the pipes. I have been playing since I was sixteen; over forty years. Actually, this is one of the few resolutions I kept. I had wanted to learn to play the pipes since I was seven. There were several problems with my idea. The biggest was trying to find a piper willing to teach ‘a girl’. That was taboo in 1966; for a girl to play the pipes. I did find a gentleman that taught. The following year I received my set of bagpipes. I had to learn to pipe and march in line without hitting anyone in the head with the bass drone. I hit the pipe sergeant several times over the first four practices.

My final New Year’s resolution for this year is a rather odd one. I want to start my own business. I want to proofread and edit. I live iin an area where there are two colleges close by. I attempted this once before and people thought I should write their term papers. Eventually I decided that I would try this again, to be sure I will not write term papers again. That is not the purpose of my business. Although, I must confess, a great deal of the time I don’t read what I write. I am also going to read more of what I write...thank heaven for Grammarly!