Wait for what?

Yes, waiting sucks. A lot. My hands are shaking so badly, and there is sweat dripping down the sides of my face. I bounce my leg up and down, up and down, trying to take the edge off of my anxiety. Waiting for this is torture. My whole body feels different, it's warm all over, I'm shaking everywhere, and I can't stop moving. I never thought of myself to be an impatient person; I could always wait to open presents on my birthday, and I never complained on a long car ride. But now? Now I'm as impatient as the moon, waiting to rise, waiting to add some light to the dark world, waiting for her turn to shine. You can see her in the sky when the sun is right above you. Not very patient if you ask me. That's how I feel. I close my eyes and try to imagine myself sitting on a towel, the sand between my toes, the roar of the sea, crashing onto land, the warmth of the sun, beating down on me. I try to imagine I am there, on a beach, having no worries at all. Unfortunately, that's not the case. My stomach threatens to return the food I had for lunch. All this sweat could fill a swimming pool, and then another. I'm getting dirty looks from people around me. I'm in a cafe, sitting at the table that is farthest away from the other customers. They can still hear my ragged breaths, my foot, rapidly tapping against the ground, and they can probably hear my heartbeat. I'm scared that it's going to beat right out of my chest and fall on the floor. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

"Excuse me?" A female voice snaps me out of my day dream, "If you aren't going to order anything, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Coffee." I mumble, glancing at her.

Her hair is blonde, her eyes light brown, and her lips are a bright red. I probably don't need coffee right now. Actually, that's the last thing I need. I don't need to be extra jittery. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now. I sigh, picking up the cup that was placed in front of me, filled with steaming hot liquid. I swirl the coffee inside the cup and watch the creamer go around the walls, leaving a line of white. How much longer? I've been here for a bit over a half hour, and I don't want to wait much longer. The smell of coffee and freshly baked treats are getting to me and making me feel nauseous.

"Are you ok?" The waitress asks coming back over to me, "You look a little pale."

"I'm ok." I lie, hoping she will leave me alone.

"Tell me if you're not and we can help you." She gestures to her coworker behind the counter, his brow furrowed in worry.

"Thanks."

"Of course." She smiles and walks away.

I look around the small shop. seven tables, almost all of them are full. People occupy the seats and laugh out loud at things I cannot hear. I get a few glances my way, their faces full of confusion or suspicion, but that doesn't bother me. I'm sure I look strange sitting here all by myself while everyone else has at least one other person with them. I just want this to be over. A young girl getting a smoothie comes over to me, sitting across from me and just stares.

"What do you want?" I ask, annoyed.

"I'm just wondering," She starts, "Why do you look so nervous? Are you building up the courage to rob this place?" She leans forward, her green eyes wide with curiosity.

"No. I'm not robbing this place." I snap, angry that she thought I would do that. Do I really look like the kind of person who would do that?

"Well whatever you're doing, it's creepy." She declared, sitting back.

"Thanks," i roll my eyes, "Please go away."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like this," I gesture the cafe, "I don't like being here, and it's worse when people try to talk to me."

"Then why are you here?" She questioned, squinting her eyes.

"I'm waiting."

"Whatever, dude. You're weird" She stands and walks away.

'I know." I whisper.

How long has it been now? i check my watch. 45 minutes. I've been sitting here for 45 minutes. Luckily, I brought a book. I might as well read while I wait.

Another hour goes by. I can see the employees getting annoyed with me. I should leave and find another place to wait. I was ordered to wait in a public place. Why? I have no idea. I leave the money and a tip, then I leave. The bell rings as I push the door open and step into the rain. I forgot my umbrella, great. I grumble to myself as I walk down the street. Where to now? The library? Sure, why not? The problem is, I don't know where it is.

"I'm sorry to bother you," I stop the closest person, "But do you know where the library is?"

"Yes. Just walk three blocks that way," He points behind him, "Then take a left and it should be on your right."

"Thank you."

"no problem." He resumes his walking.

Three blocks, then a left. I can remember that. I follow the directions he gave me, and I do end up at the library. I push open the doors and step inside. Instantly, I am surrounded by hundreds of books ranging from romance, to comedy, to horror.

I walk up the stairs and find a nice quiet table, undisturbed by the other people. I set my backpack down and take out my laptop. I open it up and start typing. I'm writing a story for my blog. It's just a hobby I started a few months ago. It keeps me occupied when I'm bored. I look up. There is a huge bookshelf in front of me, the genre is horror. At least, that's what the sign says. Interesting. I stand and go browse the shelf. I find one that seems like something i would like.

"Can you help me?" I mumble to the nearest librarian.

"Of course, what do you need?" She looks up from her book, smiling.

"Uhm, I need help setting up a library card."

"Ah, no problem!" She marks her book with a piece of paper and places it to the side, "Let's get right on it."

After a few minutes of giving her personal information, she prints out a small card, about the size of a credit card, and hands it to me.

"If you ever want to check out a book,, just bring the book and your card to the front desk, and whomever is there, will help you." She explains to me.

"Thank you," I say, genuinely thankful, "But I can't keep the book?"

"No, I'm afraid not." She frowns, "But we do have some of the books for sale."

I give her my best smile and return to my seat after checking the book out. Time to read.

I get halfway through the book before I check the time. I've been here for over two hours and I'm still waiting!! Unbelievable.

You know what? Screw it. I start packing up. I put my laptop in my backpack, and shove my phone into the pocket of my hoodie. Just as I am about to stand up, my phone rings, startling me.

"Hello?" I answer.

"It's time." The voice on the other end tells me.

I take a deep breath. It's now or never. I swing my backpack over my shoulder, walk down the stairs, and hustle out the door. I never look back.