A Thank You to Rothbridge Men’s Academy

When I was thirteen years old my parents decided to send me to boarding school. They thought I was heading down the wrong path and they didn’t know how to handle me. They were inspired by the late Victor Hugo who said, “He who opens a school door, closes a prison.” My parents say they sent me to Rothbridge Men’s Academy for my own good. Hah. They claimed that being in a school environment would keep me out of trouble; that it would push me onto the right path. Well, I can concede one thing. It did keep me out of jail. But it sure as hell did not keep me out of trouble. Before I got sent away to boarding school, I was what the textbook definition of a criminal in the making. I would ditch school more than I would show up and I would always be getting into trouble wherever I went. After school, instead of playing sports or video games, me and my friends would be selling drugs or going shoplifting. Instead of playing gta, we would actually be doing grand theft auto, stealing cars and bikes. If I kept all of that up, there is no contesting that I would have ended up with a prison sentence or two under my belt. But maybe that would have been a good thing. For society of course, not for me. You see, that very ‘education’ that was supposed to rid me of my criminal tendencies instead nurtured and refined them. It didn’t teach me to stop being a criminal, as my parents and Victor Hugo had hoped, it instead taught me how to outsmart the law. For me, the important lessons were not in math or science or english, they were the more subtle ones I learnt outside of the classroom from my peers. Here are just a few examples of the kinds of skills I gained from them. 

In my first month at school, I bought the answers to a test. The teacher found out that some of us cheated and told everyone who bought a copy to turn themselves in. She said there would be serious consequences if we didn’t fess up. Seven out of the ten of us who cheated got scared by her threats and came clean. Well, she ending up failing the kids who turned themselves in while the rest of us, who remained quiet, came out scotch free. Lesson Number 1: Deny, deny, deny. Never admit to a crime especially when they don’t have any evidence. 

Another lesson I learnt during my time at boarding school was from observing Kevin, an upper year classmate of mine. Kevin was the biggest drug dealer at our school but he was always prompt, polite and well dressed. Whenever we had a drug bust at school, the teachers and principals would go after the rebels and the trouble makers. They would question the kids that they thought looked like drug dealers. They would never even glance Kevin’s way. Lesson Number 2: Appearances matter. Make them think you aren’t even capable of the crime. 

The next valuable life skill I learnt came from Billy. Billy was the trouble maker of our class and liked to make it known. He would get more detentions than anyone else. It was almost like he was trying. But no matter how many detentions he was given, Billy never actually served any. Every morning he would bring the secretaries their favourite donuts and coffee so when he came to them with his detention slips, they would sign them without asking questions. It was an unspoken agreement between them. Lesson Number 3: Make the right friends in the right places. Bribes never hurt. 

Watching how my friend Carl breezed his way through school, helped me add yet another tool to my criminal arsenal. He hated waking up early and wasn’t about to let school stop him from sleeping in. We had math class during first period. Carl signed up for both Mrs. Carson’s and Mr. Dun’s math class which happened to take place at the same time. When Mrs. Carson marked him absent after he missed the first class and called him in to explain, Carl said there was some kind of mistake and that he was actually signed up for Mr. Dun’s math class and not hers. He showed Mrs. Carson the registration for Mr. Dun’s class and then immediately did the same for Mr. Dun. He had them both believing that he was in the other one’s class. Afterwards, Carl dropped Mrs. Carson’s class in the system but his name still appeared as registered for Mr. Dun’s. This way, the school admin and both math teachers all thought he was taking the course. Then he took the course online. Normally, the school did not let us take online courses but by the time they figured out what happened, the year was over and they were too embarrassed about the situation. They didn’t want anyone to find out so they quietly accepted his credit and let him pass the year. Lesson Number 4: There’s always a way around the system if you look hard enough.

At Rothbridge Men’s Academy, illegal activity was all around me. Granted it was cleaner and more sophisticated than what I was used to, it was just as illegal. Education gave me the tools to repackage my crime into something more elegant. My old brash ways, that were sure to get me caught, were replaced with tact and strategy. I now know how, when, and where to strike to minimize my chances of getting caught and maximize my profits. Education has truly empowered me to accomplish so much more. I could’ve been rotting in jail but now, thanks to the boarding school, I’m free to live the life of crime I was meant to live. So yeah, I agree with Victor Hugo when he said “He who opens a school door, closes a prison.” But what a shame that the prison had to close.