Advice from the neighbor

Hannah was in her backyard watching the flowers from the apple tree dancing in the spring breeze. It was a sunny day, perfect for a walk in the park. Her heart was tightening, remembering how a walk wasn’t possible right now and it won’t be for a long time. All she had, for now, was her beautiful garden. These days this was all that kept her from hiding away in her room, crying her eyes out. It’s already been three weeks but she just couldn’t get used to it. She longed to run around in the woods and she was missing taking her dog for a walk. 

“Hi, Hannah! Beautiful day, isn’t it?” 

Her neighbor Suzy was waving to her from across the fence that separated their yards. She was leaning on the fence smiling brightly at her. Hannah could almost see the pity in her smile. 

“Hi there! Yes, it’s really beautiful. Wish I could enjoy it. Instead, I can only sit here in my chair.”

“Come on now, you just have to take things slow. It will get better, you’ll see. You’ll be running around in no time.”

Suzy was more than a neighbor for Hannah. She was one of the few people who could always cheer her up. 

“Thanks, Suzy. You’re always so positive.”

“Well someone has to be.” She had hope in her eyes as she said: “The doctors said it will get better. Trust them, they know what they’re doing. Just have a little patience.”

Hannah couldn’t help but smile. She could feel it would take a lot of time for this catastrophe to get better. She was desperately clinging to the hope that soon she’ll be walking through all her favorite places again. But hope was a fading light at the end of a dark tunnel. 

“So, how is it going with baby Ann?”, asked Hannah.

“Oh, she’s getting bigger and bigger every day. She’s the most gorgeous baby I’ve ever seen. It’s crazy how she lights up my day every time I see her smile.”

“I thought babies were a pain in the ass. You know, always crying and whining and throwing up.”

“Trust me, they are. But it’s all worth it. Being a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me.” You couldn’t help but observe the love in Suzy’s eyes as she talked about her daughter. “She’s a handful but my parents help me a lot. And Max is a great father. We had this trip planned, to go hiking in Austria. Ann would have stayed with my parents for a week but the little dear got sick and I just don’t want to leave her alone.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I know you’ve been waiting a long time for that trip.”

“I was. I miss the mountains so much and I was looking forward to hiking again.”

“Austria is beautiful. I went there every winter to ski.”

“Right! You have a passion for skiing. God, I’m sure you can’t wait to feel the skis under your feet again. When do you think you’ll be able to ski again?” Suzy realized with a gasp what she asked. She wished she could take it back. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about this.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ski again. I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to walk again.” Hannah glanced with resentment at her wheelchair. The “torture chair” as she called it. One month since her accident. Three weeks since she found out she may not be able to walk again. Doctors keep telling her to have faith, that one day she’ll rise from this damn chair. But faith has become a foreign word for Hannah.  

“Hannah, I keep telling you- “

“I know! Let’s stop talking about this.”

“What would you like to talk about? The weather? We have an elephant in the room and it’s called fear.”

“So what if I’m afraid? You would be too if you were stuck in a wheelchair!”

“Why won’t you have faith that everything will get better again?”

“If I hear that word again I swear I will explode.”

“I’d like to see that.”

“No, you wouldn’t. My insides aren’t very nice.” She was trying to sound funny but there was anger in her voice. “My life is ruined.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is! Do you see this tree?” Hannah was pointing at the blooming apple tree. “I used to climb this tree when I was a kid. It was my safe place. I was the queen of the world when I was up there. Now I can’t look at it without remembering how I’m never going to climb again. It’s a painful memory but also one that I treasure a lot.”

“Well with this attitude you’ll for sure never climb again. You and I both know how stubborn and brave you are. I trust that one of these days I’ll see you up in that tree. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes courage. It takes faith, Hannah.”

“Don’t give me that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ bullshit.”

“Well, it wasn’t.” Suzy grinned. “You’re afraid of getting your hopes up, I can understand that. At least try, ok? Remember the doctors are confident this won’t be permanent.”

“I guess a little positivity won’t hurt.” Hannah could be stubborn but she realized Suzy only wanted to help her. “I already agreed to start physiotherapy.” 

“Atta girl.” 

“My boyfriend broke up with me.”

“Damn…”

“He blamed it on us being too different. His way of saying he can’t be together with a disabled person.”

“Forget about him. He didn’t know how to appreciate you. There’s more to you than your legs.”

“I’m so glad you’re my neighbor. Thank god you’re not some stoner listening to hard rock at 3 am and throwing empty bottles of beer in my yard.”

“Wow, that was weirdly specific.”

“Hah, well it was just a dream I had.”

“About me being a stoner?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Suddenly Hannah began to laugh. “You’re not very flattering in my dreams.”

“Do you dream about me a lot?”

“Only when I’m having nightmares. How about you and Max come over one of these days? Bring little Ann too.”

“I would love that! I’ll bring the wine.”

Hannah felt grateful for having Suzy. When her mom wasn’t home and the dog was somewhere sleeping in a corner, she could feel alone. She loved the quiet of the garden but she loved the garden, even more, when Suzy was on the other side of the fence.

A shrill cry was heard from inside Suzy’s house.

“I think Ann just woke up. I have to go check on her. Hey, don’t go anywhere. I’ll bring her out here so she can say ‘hi’ to her favorite neighbor.” And with that Suzy was gone. She didn’t even wait for an answer. Maybe she knew Hannah didn’t have anything better to do than wait, or maybe she knew how desperately Hannah needed to see the baby. To see the new life blooming just feet from her. Maybe by the time Ann was grown, Hannah will be able to walk again. And her little neighbor won’t think of her as “the woman in the wheelchair” but as the woman who took Suzy’s advice and didn’t lose faith.