Swat Team

The awful beasts were out to get me. I’ve never felt so excited to live in such plush accommodations and so scared of my surroundings at the same time. A plastic cave often surrounded me. I think someone was trying to save me. Her hand was much softer, and her voice was sweeter than her tall, masculine prisoner. 

“Honey, open the door.” I worked so hard to get the fly out. We had too many in our house. It appeared that they built a nest. I absolutely hate bugs. “Jeremy, open the door, I caught a fly!” Scooting my feet across the floor, I tightly held a paper to the bottom of the plastic cub. 

“I’m coming.” Leslie always had me fixing things and doing random tasks around the house. “I’ll get the door open.” Squeeek. Of course she had to open the door herself. I heard a scream from the kitchen. 

“He’s out honey. He got loose!” I was and still am deathly afraid of all bugs. Panic stricken, I screamed and threw the cup into the air.

Finally, I can go back to enjoying bites of food and the sweet cool air. “Where are my fellow flies at?” I screamed to everyone hiding behind furniture. The sweet being screamed at me. For being the softer of the two, she really knew how to scream. My wings only got me so far around  this beautifully decorated place. 

It was my chance to save Leslie  from a hospital visit induced by sheer fright. I searched and searched for our fly swatter. Fortunately, everything was well organized. “Honey, is it under washcloths or floor cleaner?” 

“Oh my gosh, there’s a whole separate basket labeled ‘Fly swatter’.” Jeremy always searched for things but struggled to find them. I spent a whole day labeling baskets for him not to actually look at the labels. “You should just help me capture it. It doesn’t need to be killed.”

“Oh ok, I see it!” Laughing about the confusion, I decided to grab another cup and the fly swatter. Who knows what I’ll be doing to this fly. Leslie liked to help out when I couldn’t find what I needed. I think she saw it as cute. 

Jeremy can be so irritating. It wasn’t cute. It was simply frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I’m his mom and not his wife.

These beasts were dumb. Always fighting over something. I never understood how a simple task always turned into these loud noises around the house. That day, I landed on a few drinks, lamps, and windows. It was an entertaining and exploratory day for me. My friends and I chatted about what the bigger beings were doing in the house. 

I ran over to Leslie with the cup and the swatter and asked where the fly was. She was running around the living room frantically. “Honey, I have what you need.”

“Well, hurry up. He’s on the lamp.” I swear, I have to direct Jeremy to do everything. 

I was hanging out with my friends on the lamp, and the slightly more disheveled of the two  clumsily stomped in my direction. His booming deep voice was too  loud and it was apparent he had no clue what he was doing. I went over to the window because he was disturbing my peace. 

“He’s on the window!” Jeremy is too slow. “Hurry, hurry!”  I pointed frantically to the window sill. 

I laughed because Leslie is too cute when she gets annoyed. “I’m coming honey.” I lifted the cup near the window sill to capture the flying nuisance. “I got you!”

This clumsy fool is lifting that plastic cave again. Ha! This is a game. “Hey friends, come here!” I shouted to my friends to come help me out. I flew over to the gentler one’s plate of food. 

I was hungry from such a frantic day. That I really needed something to eat. “Honey, where’d he go?” Looking around the room, I shoved a sandwich into my mouth. 

She was too busy looking at me to notice the fly sitting on her sandwich. I mean, I’m not adventurous enough to eat a house fly. Leslie always knows what I’m thinking because my face says it all. “Honey, you must be hungry, looks like you added some extra protein.” 

I was yet to swallow. “What do you mean?” Jeremy likes to joke with me. Upon opening my mouth, the fly flew out. I ran to the other side of the room. “Jeremy, you just sat there and watched me eat that!” 

I couldn’t help it, I was laughing. It was pure comedy gold. “I...I’m so sorry! Some people eat flies on purpose!”

A smelly air engulfed me. It was wet, warm, and dark. Suddenly, I saw a flash of light and flew out to where they kept their food. I sensed this was not fun any more and they wanted me gone. 

Leslie seemed upset with me over my response to the fly food. Scared that my wife would never let me forget about this incident, I put the cup down and grabbed the fly swatter. I looked under and over the kitchen table. Running around the house, I swished the fly swatter right and left. The blinds flung open as I pulled each string. Running to the pantry, Leslie stood to my side jumping up and down. I opened the door and not one, not two, but three flies flew in our direction. 

While in the food closet, I collected my boys to fight the threat. We were ready for anything. 

Jeremy fought for me. He was so brave. “Use the cup, use the cup!”

I swung the fly swatter several times. Smiling as I knew I was bound to hit one of them. They were too quick. 

“Jeremy, the cup! Get the cup or cups, don’t kill them!” 

Leslie cheered me on. She loves the way I get things done in this house. 

Ha, ha, ha! They can’t get…….