Freedom

Colette

It was bright and sunny outside, the popsicle I was eat had started to drip onto the ground, causing my hands to grow sticky and gross. One of the many summers in 1984 would make no difference to my life. Sure, I had a group of friends, good grades, a great boyfriend, nice parents, everything was perfect. But, perfect is boring, and no one wants boring. It was 9:23 AM and I rolled over, meeting the sweet face of my dog, Oliver. Oliver had been mine since my 13th birthday, but now the only thing I could think of was how much it would hurt when he left. I dragged myself out of bed and stared into the mirror, nothing about me was special. My blonde hair, my blue eyes, my light skin. I was exactly like everyone else and I didn’t want to be, but, just like everyone else, I tried to not be like everyone else.

I brushed my hair and pulled on a pair of shorts and a white shirt before going downstairs. My mom was sitting at the table with my dad, both with warm coffee despite the 90 degree weather that hung in the air.

“Hey, Peaches,” dad said, ruffling my hair, “What’s the plan for today?” he sipped from his coffee again, I pulled a cereal box from the cabinet.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably head down to the beach with Heather and Courtney,” I said, dad looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. “And which boys are you meeting with?” he questioned.

“Oh, um, just Jason and Steve...” I mumbled, dad nodded. “Jason and Steve!” he said loudly, I rolled my eyes. He always got this way when I was meeting with boys.

“Dad, nothing is going to happen. The beach is a public place and other families will be there,” I said defensively, dad continued nodding, I poured my cereal and sat with my parents. The wall phone rang loudly and dad got up to answer it, he made a rule, no one but dad answers the phone, because last time mom messed up his work call.

“Hello, you’ve reached the Taylor’s residents, this is Josh... Yes... She is... Uh-huh... Who am I speaking with? Ah, Steve... Yes, how did you get this number?... Oh... Sure, I’ll get her...” dad turned around and nodded at me. I got up and answered.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hi, this is Steve,” the room fell silent.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Yes, actually, I would like to see the beautiful girl that I am speaking with today.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I would love to see you today. With Lenore, Heather, Courtney, and Jason?”

“I was kind of hoping to see you without them. Just us.”

“Steve. You know I’m dating your best friend, why would we hang out alone?”

“We’re friends. Friends hang out all the time.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Beach. 12:00. Snack Shack, meet me there. Bye.”

I hung up the phone and lingered there for several seconds. “Are you going to go?” mom asked, I looked up to see her grinning over her coffee cup at me. I laughed and stared at the ground.

“I mean, I don’t know,” I said, stifling a smile, “You like Steve,” she said. I snatched my gaze up to hers.

“I do not. I’m dating Jason, not Steve,” I snapped, walking upstairs and into my room to change. I yanked off my t-shirt and aggressively searched the floor, which was covered in clothes.

Bikini top... Where is my bikini top?!

I dug through my drawers until I found the purple and blue bathing suit that I had been saving specifically for this summer. I was saving the low dip push-up top for when I was ready for it. I put it on and smiled before slipping on my white shirt over it, I pulled on the bottom half of the bikini and a pair of shorts.

With my blue sunglasses on my head and my hoop earrings in, I was ready to leave, I ran downstairs and sat at the table next to mom. “I’ll be ready when I finish my coffee. Do you need breakfast?” she asked. I stared at her, surprised.

“Mom, you know I can’t eat then swim in salt water,” I said, everytime I had eaten then gone swimming in salt water, I had gotten sick after, but when I ate then swam in a chlorine pool, I was fine.

We got into the car and pulled out of the driveway, I stared at myself in the mirror and put on some lip gloss, not too much that boys would notice, but not too little that my lips would look dry.

“Cole, do you really need makeup for swimming?” mom asked me, I stared at her again, she laughed, put her hands up and mumbled, “Okay, okay.”

The drive there was quick and the only sound was the radio blaring a Police song. When we finally arrived at the beach, I realized I had forgotten my beach bag. I internally rolled my eyes.

“Bye, momma. Love you,” I said, slamming the door shut behind me and slipping off my flip flops. I walked into the sand that made my footsteps feel heavy and clunky when Courtney and Lenore ran up to me.

“Oh, my gosh, Cole!” Lenore yelled, she hugged me tightly and stared down at what I was wearing. “You’re here to see Jason. He’s right over there,” Courtney said.

“Actually, I’m not here to see Jason. I’m meeting Steve at the snack bar,” I said, Courtney stared at me, her mouth open. “No... Way...” Lenore said in her stereotypical-teenage-girl voice. “You’re not cheating on Jason with him are you?” Courtney pestered me, I rolled my eyes.

“Hey! Colette!” Steve yelled, I looked to see him waving at me from the snack bar, I walked up to him, trying to look as chill as possible. An older guy, maybe 18, glanced up at me and grinned, his brown hair swayed in the salty air coming off of the ocean. Deep blue eyes that I fell into stared back at me and the not-just-the-surface smile stayed on his face. The moment seemed to last forever. I looked up and realized Steve was staring at me expectantly.

“I guess you didn’t hear me,” he said, I felt my face turn red, “I said, how are you?” I smiled.

“No I heard you, I’m just thinking,” I lied, smiling, “I’m alright, how are you?” he grinned widely. “Well, I’m here at the beach with the most beautiful girl... I’m doing great,” I blushed again, but this time, not from embarrassment. He knew I was dating his best friend, I knew I was dating his best friend, but he liked me anyway.

“Steve, I can’t like you... like that,” I said, staring down at my feet that were covered in sand. “Look, you have to promise not to tell anyone that I told you this,” he said, I looked up to meet his eyes that were now serious.

“Okay, I won’t,” I said, assuming the worst so I would hopefully be pleasantly surprised. “Jason told me that he doesn’t want to date you anymore, he just can’t find a way to tell you,” he said, it was at that moment that I felt my heart completely sink into the bottom of my soul.

“What?” I asked, my voice shaking with the cries that I tried to keep in, “I’m really sorry, Colette. I’m trying to keep you from getting your heart broken,” he said, taking my hand. I didn’t want to be sour toward him, so I didn’t pull away. “I don’t want to hurt you, neither does Jason, but I knew that I had to hurt you to keep you safe,” he said, fury inside of me welled up, I stared up at him.

“Keep me safe? How is any of this keeping me safe? You made everything worse!” I flared, he let go of my hand and stared at me with worry. I wanted to say something else but decided not to, I let go of the risk of making everything worse. I sat down at the Snack Shack and tried to focus on the waves and steady flow of chatter. “Colette, please,” he said, I turned around in the chair and stared at him, still angry.

“No, listen to me. You told me that my boyfriend wants to dump me and now you expect me to just be cool?” I questioned, he opened his mouth, then closed it again. I hoped he knew how I felt in this particular situation. Instead, he turned and walked away, I watched him leave and walk toward my friends, I didn’t want to see him talking trash about me, so I turned around. In my peripheral vision, I saw the boy, he was looking at me, I was extremely tempted to look back at him, but I decided to just let him stare at me.

“Hey,” he said in a low voice, touching the edge of my arm, leaving a trial of hotness on my skin. I dared to look over at him, I stared at his hand, then allowed my gaze to travel up his muscular arms, to his broad shoulders, to his lips, his upturned nose, finally, his eyes. He maintained eye contact with me, like he could look through me, chills crawled up my back as I straightened my posture. I pushed my chest out, my stomach forward and tilted my chin down, then I looked back up at him. The corners of his mouth turned upward in a slight smile, he didn’t remove his hand from my arm, I felt like he might ignite my skin if he smiled any wider.

“Can I get you a cool, non-alcoholic beverage?” he asked, every word in his sentence flirted and I shyly nodded before pushing my hair behind my shoulder with my free hand. “Hi, can I get a strawberry cooler for her and a raspberry cooler for me?” he asked, the woman nodded and walked away, I wrinkled my nose cutely.

“How did you know that strawberry was my favorite?” I asked, smiling slightly, he readjusted his position as the waitress brought our drinks and winked at me. “I don’t know, you just looked like a strawberry kind of girl. I can read people very well and as far as I can tell,” he shifted from eye to eye, “You have a stereotypical ‘perfect’ life that you aren’t happy with because perfect is boring, you want something different and fun. The men in your life are all over you and try to prove their loyalty, you’re very athletic, obviously beautiful in every way,” he said, smiling at me. I blushed and the chills returned.

“What’s your name?” he asked me, I stared back down at his hand that was now closer to my wrist rather than my arm anymore.

“Colette,” I said, “But you can call me Cole.”

“No, thank you. I would rather not demean a beautiful girl with a beautiful name by calling her a boy’s name like Cole,” he said, I smiled, he smiled back at me and laughed a little. He sipped from his drink and stood up, “My apologies, Colette. But, I have to leave. Have a fantastic day,” he said, walking away and sneaking a wink before he disappeared around the side of the Snack Shack. It occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten his name, I spun my drink around and saw black writing all over it, it was a number. I laughed, he gave me his phone number when I wasn’t looking.

“Cole!” Heather yelled, wrapping me in a hug, and motioning for me to come hang out with her, I picked up my drink and wrapped it in my towel to keep the ink from rubbing off. I pulled of my t-shirt and my jeans and walked over to where Heather, Lenore, and Courtney’s towels were laying on the sand, weighed down by rocks and chunky beach bags. I laid down on my stomach and allowed the sun to graze my back and my legs. Little kids running kicked up sand everywhere, dogs chased seagulls, dads clinked bottles and drank, moms waded into the water with their toddlers, teenagers flirted with each other and laughed loudly.

Jason and Steve were throwing a frisbee back and forth, when Jason stopped their game and walked over to me. “Hey, Cole, can we talk?” he asked, sitting down next to me, I nodded but I didn’t look at him. “So, I’ve been thinking,” he started, I looked up at him and breathed heavily.

“Let me guess, you’ve been thinking about other girls, getting bored of me, you didn’t want to break my heart, we can still be friends, it’s not you, it’s me,” I said, bored. “I’ve heard it before.”

“Um, yeah, sorry,” he said, I glared up at him.

“You are not sorry. You said you loved me and that I was your everything,” I growled, he didn’t speak.

“I lost someone who never cared, you lost someone who always did,” I stormed. He pressed his lips together and walked away, he continued throwing the frisbee with Steve. Normally, you’re supposed to feel bad after something like that, but now, I felt free. With Jason, it was do this, say that, call me this, don’t do that, not right now. Now, I can flirt with whoever I want and love who I want to. Freedom. Finally.