Burne

I suck my pink popsicle, walking home from school. Me, Keisha, Amelia, and Sophia were chatting happily, ignoring the popsicle dripping stains we got on our clothes. As we hit Rollingsburg Av, all four of us split into different directions, heading towards different houses. Finishing the last little block of the popsicle, I push in the garage passcode and come right home. 

Stepping inside, I see mom and dad seeming very dismal. My mind races through all the possibilities, but I couldn’t seem to figure out. So, I ask them. 

“Sweety, Burne died today by a car that hit him,” Mom disheartened speaks up after a long time of silence. I’m speechless. How? Trying not to bawl, so I keep my tears inside of me. Not being able to control me, my tears suddenly gush out, creating such a traumatic scene in front of my parents. Knowing I can’t blame them, I just keep on crying and crying and crying. From the exciting mood I came in with, it’s ruined. No happiness. Thinking more about him, I cry more. The dog I thought I was never gonna lose, just slipped right out of reach. I remember parts of my “Coping with emotions” class, but I know I'm never going to apply it. I never do. I remember the words Ms. Battle said in one session.

Cope with your emotions, 

Keep a fidget. 

Do something recreational.  

Make a list of things you are thankful for.

It's gonna be okay.

Go to Mrs. H if you need help.

We are gonna help you fight this.

All my thoughts squirm through my head. I can't fight this. This is not gonna be okay. What's there to be thankful for? I lost my favorite. I can't do anything. Just cry. 

Then, I imagine what would happen if I told everybody in school. 

Do you know Jocelyne lost her dog?

So sorry for your loss.

I can't believe it, this is horrible. 

How did this happen? 

What misery. 

Just after saying a few words, they would just assume everything is back to normal. I can’t tell everyone. It would be such a big humiliation.

I cried though. With mom (which is surprising because she was the one who didn't seem to like Burne as much as me and dad,) even dad was crying. 

After a good thirty minutes of misery, mom took a tissue and dabbed it on her eyes. She was back to normal, she had gotten over that fact now. She took out our Highkey Keto Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies packet and poured a bunch of the chocolate chip cookies into a bowl. I loved this yummy snack, but now how can I eat it. I can't just eat the yummiest snack the second my dog dyed. I'll never be able to do such a thing. 

After a few hours, I eat dinner, well forcefully, but still, and then went to bed early. I didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

“Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!!!” My alarm goes off at 6:15 am. I tumble over to turn off the annoying sound caused by my alarm. 

As soon as I start to open my eyes, I sense Burne, running up the steps to lick my face like any other day. So I wait in bed. And wait more. Finally, when I feel alive, I come back to reality. Burne’s dead. Tears flood out again, about a whole ocean of it. I don’t get out of bed, and I don’t want to. Instead, I pull over my bedsheets, hoping to be with Burne. As soon as I feel drifted away, mom yells loud, indicating for me to come downstairs, and probably make breakfast. I ignore her. Like usual, she yells louder. I quickly get out of bed, knowing how caustic it will get if I continue to ignore her. I quickly dress, comb my hair, brush my teeth, and come downstairs. 

As I hit the last step, I see mom, annoyed with me. She got over the fact, she hated dogs anyway. She’ll never understand me. I head into the kitchen and see a french toast arranged perfectly on a decorative plate. Mom’s not as bad as I thought, I think to myself. I eat my french toast slowly, thinking about what would happen if Burne was here. How happy I would be.

“Finish fast, I have got to drop you off to school,” mom says. Uh-oh, I forgot. What am I gonna say to Kiesha, Amelia, and Sophia? What will happen then? I do as told though, knowing how annoyed mom will get if I don't eat fast. As I eat, I get this uncomfortable feeling indicating that school will not go well.

At school, life was not much better. It was worse. Everyone just kept asking why I’m so silent today. Even the teachers. Better yet, since I was daydreaming, Kiesha, Sophia, and Amelia just left me out and didn't include me in anything (which I thought was fine because I didn’t wanna play, but I thought these three of my best friends would even try to understand me.) I guess I was wrong Well anyway, I didn't tell anyone about Burne yet, because I don't want all of the “sorry for your loss,” and gossips about my dog to occur. Ms.battle asked me an answer to a math question, and then I said Burne (since I was dreaming about him.) Everyone laughed so hard. I can’t believe Mrs.Battle tried to humiliate me. I can't believe it! Thankfully the school day ended quickly, so I headed home with utter silence slowly, about fifty feet away from Amelia, Kiesha, and Sophia. As I arrive home, I eat, then sit on the couch wearily, seeming as if I'm about to sleep. But I don't. I just think. 

The next day at school, it was the same boring thing. Kiesha, Sophia, and Amelia no longer cared about me. They acted like they had no idea who I was. Today, I felt a smidge better, and I wanted to join them, but now they were in a new world, without me. 

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It’s been a week now, and my three best friends are leaving me out. What should I do?

Scribbling these words down, I feel so sick of everything. All along, the day I was eating popsicles, life worked out fine, and two seconds after, I start weeping.

The next day, I walk to school, and head in the classroom. As I head in, I see the empty teacher's desk. Jerry snatches my painting of Burne, the one I made yesterday. Just as soon as he starts teasing me, Ms.battle comes in with another boy. 

“Hi everyone, good morning. Meet Larry,our new student…” Ms.battle blabbers. I started hanging my backpack and settling down as she continued talking. I boringly stare at Ms. Battle and the new kid.

We learned math, well we learn the stem and leaf plot, but it wasn’t so hard (in my opinion,) but lots of kids struggled with it. I got partnered up with Larry, to work on page 141, and he was pretty friendly and nice. It seemed like he was smart, and understanding. After math class, we had lunch. I sat at a blank table where no one was sitting because now I have zero friends. The Larry surprisingly joined me. At this point, I felt like I needed to tell someone about Burne, and Larry seemed like a perfect person to tell. I told him at lunch, about all the events that happened between Burne’s death till now. He understood how I was feeling because his close grandpa died a few months ago. 

At recess, I and Larry started playing. I enjoyed playing, and I felt no longer filled with loneliness.

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The next few days passed like that, having a perfectly fun time with him, until now.

He told Kiesha, Amelia, and Sophia about Burne’s death. He told them not to tell anyone else though. He told them how I was feeling. A few minutes after, Kiesha, Amelia, and Sophia came up to me and said that they were very sorry for leaving me out, and how they thought they were so insane to do so. They even invited me and Larry to come to hang out with them. Kiesha even said that she was available any time to talk if I was having emotional pain. Maybe they are not bad after all!