The Letter of Her Dreams

Sydney was exhausted. She worked her boring, tedious job as a cashier at the local grocery store, then went home to clean, cook, and do laundry for herself and her three kids. Then it was homework, baths, bedtime stories, and finally she was able to collapse into bed until morning.

         Morning brought more tedious, mundane tasks. Making lunches, cooking breakfast, making certain that bags were packed and the kids got to school. Then back to her job again.

         In between all of this, she attempted to follow her passion – writing. She had always dreamed of having a book published and becoming a famous author. She doubted at this point in her life that it would happen, but she still couldn’t help but to write. She always had a notebook with her to write down thoughts or poems or whatever popped into her mind. As of late, she had been working on a novel. She called it ‘Life as a Single Mother’. She thought that it was pretty good, and what was even better was that it was honest. They always say ‘write what you know’ and that was exactly what she was doing.

         Every once in a while, Sydney would research publishers. She had found a couple that were accepting unsolicited manuscripts, but so far she hadn’t found the courage to contact them. She knew that a lot of being a writer was dealing with rejection, but she had so little going for her that she didn’t know if she could handle the rejection.

         While she was lost in thought, her boss came up to her register. 

         “Do you not have anything to do? I can find you something to do.”

         With that, he pointed to a platform of candy. 

         “Stock all the registers, and rearrange everything according to the new planogram. Make sure that you do it correctly.”

         “So, should I shut down my register?”

         “Absolutely not! Continue to work your register while stocking.”

         “But there’s no way I will finish in time. I have to get my kids from school.”

         “Too bad. You stay ‘til you finish. Make necessary arrangements on your break.”

         With that he walked away, leaving Sydney fuming. She wanted to tell him where to put his candy and his planogram. She wanted to throw down the ugly brown apron that she was forced to wear and walk out the door. She wanted to tell him to put the job with the candy and the planogram. Unfortunately, she could do none of those things. She needed this damn job. She called her best friend, Cat, on her break and she agreed to pick up the kids.

         When Sydney finally got off work and picked up the kids, she went home and got them ready for bed. Once they were all tucked in, she sat down at her desk and pulled out her manuscript. This represented so many hours of her life. So much work put into it. It was like one of her children. Would she be able to handle it if she sent it in and it got rejected? She just couldn’t be sure that she had it in her. She decided that she would wait a little longer. 

         The next day, at work, the boss was on her butt again. Sydney had had enough. She went home sick at lunch and contacted a couple of the publishing companies that she had been researching. She got instructions on how to submit her manuscript. She made all the necessary copies and purchased the envelopes and stamps that she needed. She went back home, prepared her manuscripts to mail, and sent them out before she lost her nerve.

         She went to work the next morning, knowing that it would be a while before she heard from a publisher. She was proud of herself for having taken the step necessary to begin making her lifelong dream come true. 

         Several weeks of monotony later, Sydney received a letter from one of the publishing companies. She was too afraid to open it. A couple of days later, another came. Again, she was too afraid to open it. One by one, the letters piled up. When she had received answers from all ten of the companies that she had submitted to, she sat at her desk with the letters and her letter opener. 

         Sydney was cozy and warm, wearing her favorite pair of pajamas and her fuzzy slippers. She had a coffee cup of red wine on the desk next to the letters. Her laptop was closed. She took a sip of her wine and lifted the first letter with a shaky hand. Thoughts ran through her head. What if all ten of these were rejection letters? Maybe she wasn’t a very good writer, after all and only fancied herself to be one. She was glad that she hadn’t quit her job, as she had been tempted to do. 

         Finally, she took a deep breath and slit open the first letter. It occurred to her then she should slice open every letter before reading any of them. She knew that she was stalling, but she just couldn’t help it. This could mean the beginning of everything or the ending of it. She was so scared and nervous.

         She finished slicing all of the envelopes open. She set down the letter opener and took another sip of wine. She took another deep breath. She picked up the first letter. No more stalling. She reached in, took out the letter, and slowly unfolded it. There it was. Her biggest fear. They had rejected her book. It was same with the second letter, and the third. She was about to give up and go to bed, but she figured she may as well finish the arduous task of reading all of the letters. 

         Sydney got up and poured herself another cup of wine. She wished that she had never started this. If she wouldn’t have sent the damn manuscript, she wouldn’t be feeling so terrible right now. She picked up the fourth letter, unfolded it, looked for the now familiar rejection phrase. Instead, a check fell out of the letter. It was an advance! They wanted to publish her book! Now she was excited. She didn’t care if all the rest were rejections. Someone wanted to publish her book.

         She opened the rest of the letters, and there were three others that wanted to publish her, also. She looked at the advance checks. It was easy enough to decide. She would take the largest advance, publish her book, and tell her boss exactly where to put his job.

         Her lifelong dream was finally coming true!