Inside The Room With The Grey Walls

Submitted into Contest #49 in response to: Write a story that takes place in a waiting room.... view prompt

42 comments

Mystery

The room is silent, save for the rhythmic tick-tock of the round, analog clock hanging from the smooth, pale grey walls. I tap my foot in time with the sound as I wait for my therapist to call me in. I’m the only one in the waiting room, but that comforts me. Being around other people is unnerving—I always feel like it becomes something of a competition, even if the only thing I’m doing is sitting here. That’s why I never want to get married—being alone is when I feel safe. My mother disagrees; even though she denies it, I know she’ll always be disappointed that I’m single. I don’t understand that, though—it’s not like she had a successful marriage. The best decision she ever made in that department was leaving my father. But she keeps insisting that I should find someone, otherwise what will I do for the rest of my life? As if being alone was the most outlandish idea she’d ever heard.

But even if I did want to get married, there’s nobody I trust enough to spend the rest of my life with. The last time I remember feeling any sort of connection at all was in high school, when I liked this girl named Scarlett. She was vibrant, she was beautiful, and she could run faster than anyone I’d ever met. She was also exceptionally good at jacks. Basically, she was everything I wasn’t—I guess that’s why I liked her. I talked to her once or twice, but she didn’t seem too interested. Not that I could blame her, of course. There’s nothing very remarkable about me, so I didn’t try too hard to get her to see anything in me at all. I didn’t even know if I was in love with her—it’s not like I knew her personally enough to come to that conclusion.

She didn’t know about me, either. We weren’t friends, more like casual acquaintances. As we approached our senior year of high school, she and I talked to each other even less than we had before, and we didn’t keep in touch after high school ended. But it was for the best—it probably wouldn’t have worked between us anyway. She was more interesting than I was, and she had a sort of dedication to things that I simply didn’t have. For whatever reason, she put her full heart and soul into everything she did. I didn’t really do that, and you can’t expect one person to do all the work in a relationship. That’s why my mother left my father. She was doing all the work.

I pick at a loose thread in the armchair I’m sitting in. My color-blindness prevents me from being able to tell if it’s red or green, but I like to think it would be red—it reminds me of Scarlett. I don’t feel anything for her anymore—after all, I haven’t seen or heard from her in twenty-two years—but she’s one of the few people I remember from high school. I wasn’t the most popular kid at high school—shocking, I know—so as a result I didn’t know that many people. Even now, I can’t say my life is particularly exciting. I live in a small apartment, without even a dog to keep me company, and I work as an accountant. I own a minivan and the complete works of ‘Journey’—from the perspective of being cool, I might as well be dead.

I sigh impatiently. This is taking a long time—whoever’s in there with my therapist must be even more messed up than I am—but then remember that it doesn’t really matter how long I have to wait. There’s nowhere else I need to be, nothing else I need to do. I look around the room and notice that the wall calendar is flipped to the month of October. I frown slightly—it’s December. Almost Christmas, come to think of it. Not that that’s anything to be particularly excited about. I have nobody to spend it with, except perhaps Mr. Simmons, the old man who lives in the apartment right below me. But he’ll probably have his own family over for Christmas, anyway, or at least have his cat. I can’t say the same for myself. At least I get a few days off work, but what would I do? Lounge around the apartment and watch some TV, I suppose.

What would Scarlett be doing for Christmas? Something adventurous, probably. Something exciting, something that would probably give me heart palpitations just by thinking about it. In high school, she would regularly do things like that. Seeing the calendar flipped to October reminds me about something she did just before Halloween—she had climbed onto the school roof to announce to everyone that whoever had snuck marijuana into her locker had better watch their backs. I remember that day vividly—her deep red hair, only a few shades darker than her name, had been swinging wildly down to her waist as she shimmied up the gutter pipe and climbed gracefully onto the roof, her long, slender legs finding the tiniest footholds in the wall. She didn’t lose her footing even once, as if she’d scaled the building hundreds of times before. She probably had, too—once, the principal had called us all in for an assembly because someone had vandalized one of the gargoyles on the roof. Although the person responsible was never discovered, I’m sure Scarlett had something to do with it.

I didn’t blame her—those gargoyles were sore on the eyes. Unlike Scarlett, of course—she was beautiful. Her vibrant, sea-green eyes contrasted uniquely with her hair, and she had a smattering of freckles splashed across her nose. Considering her looks, coupled with her daring spirit, it had remained a mystery to most of the students how she’d never had a boyfriend. Scarlett had shrugged and said that she’d be too much to handle, and besides, she’d never been one to settle for less. It seemed a reasonable explanation to me—she was too good for anyone in that school anyway, and we all knew that. Call her snobbish or conceited, but it was true.

When Christmas comes, I’m not going to do anything remotely like Scarlett—I’d buy myself a pack of instant noodles and a slice of carrot cake, and eat it in front of the TV with a cup of coffee. Then my mother would call me and make a point of not inviting me over for the holidays, because she’d have a man over. Not my father, of course—we hadn’t seen him in years—but probably some guy who had bought her a drink at a bar that day. She’d ask if I’d found anyone yet, and the answer would always be no, to which she’d reply that there was nobody foolish enough to marry me anyway. Then I would say that that’s what I’d been telling her for the past three years, but she would have already hung up.

Then, out of habit, I would call my father, not because I expected him to answer, but because it gave me the sense that I knew what I was doing, and that I had someone I could call up. Then, after leaving him a voicemail consisting of some obscenities—that was the best part of the day—I’d call Scarlett. Considering that the only number I had of hers was one that some guy had randomly given me during my senior year, I wasn’t sure if it was even correct, but I called her anyway. I knew she wouldn’t answer, so I talked mindlessly into the phone until my message became too long. Then I’d call her again, and keep talking until I had nothing else to say. I would usually stop after two voicemails, though—nothing interesting was ever going on in my life, and most conversations with Scarlett consisted of her talking and the other person listening in awe as she casually recounted whatever outlandish thing she’d done recently.

The one thing I never did during Christmas—aside from anything remotely exciting—was listen to Christmas music. Well, not on my own, at least. Of course, I couldn’t avoid it when I went to the grocery store, even in late November—I don't understand why they start playing Christmas music so early anyway. But in my apartment, it would be quiet, because I knew that Santa Claus wouldn’t be coming to town, and that bells wouldn’t be jingling, and I wouldn’t be giving or receiving anything for Christmas. It would be damn cold outside, though—and since my thermostat was broken, I’d make do with a heap of tattered blankets that I’d had for as long as I could remember. In other words, I would be spending this Christmas exactly the same way as I’d spent every other Christmas since I moved into my apartment eight years ago.

Suddenly, a secretary steps into the room, her high heels clicking loudly against the tiled floor. “Mr. Trey Gryffon?” she asks me.

I nod and stand up as the secretary says, “She’s waiting for you.”

She? I frown. “My therapist is Mr. Ayton.”

The secretary looks surprised. “Mr. Ayton quit his job last week. Didn’t you know?”

I shake my head mutely, but follow her to my new therapist’s office. The secretary knocks on the door, and we hear someone say, “Come in!”

“Have a good evening, Mr. Gryffon,” the secretary says with a smile.

“Y-you too,” I say, still confused, and the secretary walks down the hallway and disappears around the corner.

I open the door, and my eyes land on the woman sitting behind what was once Mr. Ayton’s desk. She’s typing on a computer, but that’s not the first thing I notice. No, it’s her deep red hair that catches my attention. She looks up from the computer and stares at me with piercing, sea-green eyes.

Her lips part slightly in surprise. “Trey?”

I blink, stunned, and nod. Maybe this Christmas will be different after all.

July 08, 2020 19:40

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42 comments

Phebe Emmanuel
00:29 Jul 18, 2020

The ending was perfect. I was wondering throughout the story where Scarlett actually came in, but it was all solved in the end. Not knowing about her added a sweet touch of mystery that I see in all your stories. Great job!

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05:17 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you so much! Yeah I realized I do have that sort of mysterious vibe going on 😂 it adds an extra layer of depth to the story I think! Plus being able to add subtle humor lightens it up a little! I’m glad you liked the ending, as it was a bit more open-ended than I wanted, since there were so many ways I could take it from there!

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Phebe Emmanuel
05:27 Jul 18, 2020

Honestly, it was perfect. You really should consider writing part 2s or 3s to this and post it, even if it doesn't fit the prompt. I just need a second part, at least to The Girl With the Make-Believe Name. It reminded me of The Selection if you've ever read it. Great read, I recommend it. But PLEASE write a part 2. Or 3. Maybe 27. LOL, love your writing!

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07:13 Jul 18, 2020

Haha aww thank you that’s so sweet and encouraging!!! No I haven’t read it, actually, but now that you’ve mentioned it I’ll definitely check it out! Thanks so much for your kind words, I’ll definitely consider continuing it and submitting it!

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Phebe Emmanuel
10:43 Jul 18, 2020

Thank you so much, that makes my day!

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Dilan Abdah
21:58 Jul 16, 2020

I like how we both have the tick-tock of the clock in our stories, great insight on the senses including sound, especially somewhere as anxious as a waiting room. The syntax is beautifully woven in, encapsulates the anxiety of the ‘patient’ as he tells his back story. What kept it alive, which is difficult to do in scene as devoid as a waiting room, was the history of your character and how he got it leading to where they are now. The red and the reminder of Scarlett was a great touch. “Whoever’s in there with my therapist must be e...

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23:22 Jul 16, 2020

Thanks so much, Dilan! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me such solid feedback! I’m glad you liked the humor and the pacing of the story, especially the ending, because there were so many directions I could take the story that I basically couldn’t decide and decide to leave the reader hanging a little! Also yes I did read your story and it was really really amazing!!!

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17:14 Jul 24, 2020

This were literally my thoughts (even if not exactly), It was a great story to read.

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Zan Lexus
19:49 Jul 14, 2020

Wasn't expecting that ending. Great story. ^_^

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22:58 Jul 14, 2020

Thank you! Yeah I’d hoped to have a plot twist!

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Brittany Gillen
03:27 Jul 13, 2020

Imaan - I really enjoyed your story. The main character was very likable. I loved where he leaves long messages to Scarlet's answering machine every Christmas for years even though she never calls back and he isn't sure if it is her number. This is going to sound totally crazy, but the only feedback I have is that I didn't realize the narrator was a boy (Trey) until the end. For some reason, the image of the character tapping their foot in time to the clock made me picture a woman with high heels. Crazy, I know, but I thought you might ...

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04:08 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks so much, Brittany, I’m glad you liked that part, I liked it too! Yes, about that, I actually wasn’t sure what I wanted the gender of the main character to be at first, that’s why I left it pretty blank. Then at the end I just decided to make it a boy because I liked the name Trey and tbh I wanted to do something from a boy’s point of view, since I’m obviously not a boy I just wanted to try it and see how it would go! Thanks so much for reading!

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🤩🤩🤩 ~ᗩEᖇIᑎ! (P. S. Would you mind checking out my story ‘A Poem By A Star (No, Literally)’? Thanks!)

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Cheri Jalbert
18:57 Jul 14, 2020

Loved this! The ending was perfect! Fantastic characters, great descriptions and your pacing was spot on. Very well done.

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03:52 Jul 15, 2020

Hey, Cheri! Thanks so much for your feedback, that was really nice to read and it means a lot! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and yes I worked really hard to make sure the pace wasn't too fast, as there was supposed to be a lot of insight and introspection into what Trey was thinking, so I'm glad I got the speed right! Thanks so much for reading!

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Steve Uppendahl
23:37 Jul 13, 2020

Great story with vivid descriptions. I agree the protag is a bit genderless for awhile. The reader can assume it's male because of the obsession, but we all know how it can just as easily be a female in love with her instead. Good job describing the relationship between the protag and his mom. I would have liked to have seen the phone call be an actual conversation. But, that is just me. I'm a sucker for dialogue. I do wonder if Scarlett actually received those voicemails what her response would be. If she did get them, and never res...

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23:47 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks so much! Haha yeah I wasn’t sure what I wanted the gender of the main character to be while I was writing it, that’s why I kind of left the reader guessing until the end! It’s good to hear that I managed to accurately describe the relationship b/w Trey and his mom, that was a pretty important detail! And about the voicemails, yeah I wasn’t sure where I really wanted to go with that, the story could still have been interesting either way, that’s why I ended up just leaving it there :), but yes I also wanted to let the reader know th...

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Scott Doran
22:38 Jul 13, 2020

Liked the character descriptions and resignation of the fraught relationship with parents. Was unsure about whether the color-blindness was literal or figurative. I assumed it was literal and was unsure about how to reconcile it with the vivid memories of colors (eg. Sea green eyes, shade of hair, etc.)

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23:31 Jul 13, 2020

Thanks so much! Yeah with the color blindness thing, it was literal but I wanted to enhance how vibrant Scarlett was, because she was so different and she stood out from everyone else :)

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Amber Shepherd
07:00 Jul 12, 2020

That ending was perfect! I loved that you didn't need to outright tell us it was Scarlett at the end, you had already given us such a vivid picture of her that we recognise her. Another amazing story Imaan :)

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17:00 Jul 12, 2020

Thanks so much, Amber! I’m glad I did what I wanted to do about the describing, you got exactly what I wanted readers to get! Thanks!

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. .
22:20 Jul 09, 2020

Great story, loved the plot twist at the end!

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E. Jude
18:41 Jul 09, 2020

Sweet! It kept me reading. I felt as though I was in this story!! I loved it! I love the characters, Trey and Scarlett seem like such cool characters and a great pair! And your reflection, was beautiful! I had a craving to listen to the Journey after you mentioned them around half way through (They're such a good band😍) and when you mentioned the fact he was getting a new therapist, I was hoping so bad it was going to be Scarlett! I would love if you could could check my stories out too!!! XElsa

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18:47 Jul 09, 2020

Thanks so much, your feedback means a lot! I'm glad you liked the characters, I had so much fun writing about them! Loll yes I love Journey, and I'm glad you liked the 'plot twist' too, even though it seemed pretty predictable! Of course I'd love to read your story, thanks again!

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Batool Hussain
10:29 Jul 09, 2020

Good story, Imaan;)

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17:05 Jul 09, 2020

Thanks, Batool!

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Maliha Versi
21:54 Jul 08, 2020

This short story is AMAZINGG!!! I love the descriptions of the characters and their thoughts! When Trey was describing the events that had happened in the past with Scarlett I was like watch the therapist be Scarlett 😂 Overall the story is really good and hooks the reader early on! Also you should do a part two where like the voicemails of Trey have been going through to Scarlett!

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21:55 Jul 08, 2020

Omgg really 😂😂? Glad you liked it! And yeah I was considering doing a part 2! But I still have Nicholas Lumley to finish 😂😁

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Maliha Versi
22:01 Jul 08, 2020

YESSS I’m still waiting for Lumley and Rose!!!!!

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22:25 Jul 08, 2020

Hahaha yesss always 😜 🥰 😂

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Liyan Salameh
21:27 Jul 08, 2020

i really liked this story...i’m a baby for love stories. i love how you described scarlett’s features and treys thoughts of her. the ending made me 🥺🥺. this gives me “she” by harry styles vibes

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21:38 Jul 08, 2020

Thanks so much, Liyan! Yeah I had a lot of fun creating Scarlett’s character! Haha I see how you get Harry vibes 😂😂 I love that song!

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20:44 Jul 08, 2020

Your story is excellent! It was so descriptive, and you painted a beautiful picture of Scarlet. The ending was sweet, but it also ending with a little bit of a cliffhanger.

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20:59 Jul 08, 2020

Thanks Maddy! Loll yeah I did that on purpose because I know it’s annoying 😂 and I wanted to leave the reader wanting to know what happens next! I’m glad you liked Scarlett though, I had a great time writing her! Glad you enjoyed it!

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Maya A
20:23 Jul 08, 2020

I love the twist at the end! This definitely gives me Catcher in the Rye vibes, 10/10. I can't think of any constructive criticism for you tbh. YAY IMAAN :)

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20:33 Jul 08, 2020

Omggg yeah I based it a little bit off CIR 😂😂 glad you liked it!!!

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Maliha Versi
03:59 Aug 12, 2020

OMG this story is literally AMAZINGG 🔥

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Sarah Freeman
19:18 Aug 06, 2020

I just finished your latest story and was craving more, so I scrolled down and realized there was one I hadn’t read, liked OR commented on, which is crazy for me cuz I constantly flock to your stories. So yeah, I came here, read it, liked it and am currently commenting. I LOVED IT. L-O-V-E-D I-T. That little plot twist at the end had me on the edge of my seat, staring at my phone, eye spasming, hissing, “Yeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!” I looked like a human snake! Trey seems so helpless, so loveless. Then there’s the part where you probably starte...

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22:20 Aug 06, 2020

Hi Sarah! Thanks so much, I’m so lucky to have you as a fan, your comments are always so nice and encouraging! I’m glad you enjoyed it, and I definitely plan to write more in the future!

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Sarah Freeman
22:25 Aug 06, 2020

Good! WRITE!

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19:49 Jul 08, 2020

This is such a good story! It was a cool plot twist at the end! Would you mind reading my new story "Squash that Spider"?

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20:01 Jul 08, 2020

Of course! I’m glad you liked it 💕!

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