Bets for the chase

How many rough patches do you think can dwell in a relationship of a stubborn controversial couple? How many times does the relationship rule book allow you to call it quits in a single day?

Unfortunately, no rule book gives the million-dollar answer that we all seek. People make huge profits off of trying to write the rules on the age-old topic of love, lust, and every grey hair that goes along with partaking in the magical world of the monogamous relationship.

One fact that I am dead sure of is that a couple can call it quits more than you can count to the last number of the alphabet and sideways again. Some people would call that kind of relationship toxic but I believe it is the most genuine type of relationship that you can find. Toxic relationships get a bad rap when in fact those kinds of relationships create the biggest sparks of lightning flashes that perfectly and poetically paint the most beautiful love stories of our time.

I can bet you that if you really read through all of the romantic novels from all ages; it contains a perfect recipe for controversy, jealousy, and conflict. As says the beautiful Yin Yang symbol; for love cannot exist without the opposite side of hate to define it. To say it short and sweet; hate defines love. The hate within love also makes for great reading.

 I would personally kiss you on your big left toe if you can find me any piece of writing that has to do with the perfect couple in their love story that has actually made a decent name for itself. Don’t misunderstand me as I am not saying it does not exist, you’ll probably find that kind of story on some bored housewife’s personal blog that her best fake friends in the whole wide world won’t even read because they know it is a bunch of dirty lies.

 Any woman living the perfect life with her partner isn’t going to have some soppy personal victory blog, rather a ton of awesome photos on the trendiest social media app- and what can I bet you that all of her friends, enemies, known associates, and random social media butterflies are viewing those photos with great envy.

Anna and Ricky Brent are some of the craziest people I have ever known. I have changed their names to protect their identities so don’t bother searching for them on any of your social media sites. If I were to reveal they're true identities you would probably find a lot more on them than you would any normal nine to five couple. Hence why I have specifically changed their names, and to be very honest I can’t be one hundred percent sure that both Anna and Ricky know as much of each side of their story as I do.

Anna had met Ricky when she was sixteen years old and had convinced herself that she had reverted back to a virgin state from lack of sex.

She broke her virginity with an absolute tool when she was thirteen years old and hated the experience so much that she completely steered clear of the whole hetero sex scene until she met Ricky of course- the first man she had ever allowed to see her completely naked.

I can vouch for these events and Anna’s personal thoughts on the matter at the time because I have known Anna and been her friend since she was ten years old.

Anna fell too hard and too fast for Ricky in my personal opinion. She became weak around him and her whole bad girl personality fizzled into an insecure puddle of prissy unintelligent molecules. I was also careful to warn her against anything she was besotted with as that could have easily pushed her away from me straight into Ricky’s arms just as he preferred her- soft and metaphorically blind.  

Ricky had just turned twenty when Anna and I met him for the first time. I witnessed right in front of my eyes for the one and only time in my life- Attraction at first sight. Right away I could see the colors and stories shaping and forming around Anna and Ricky. If I were being completely honest, it scared me a little because it brought about all of my personal insecurities to the surface. Surreal first-time moments make you wonder if you would ever one day fit so perfectly into a timeline that it wouldn’t actually exist if you weren’t there.

Time passes and the chemical reaction creating the feeling of love and like either grows stronger or alerts you to the terrible fact that you have somehow accidentally found yourself in the company of the most boring person alive. Anna’s love grew deeper as the time she spent with me grew less.

 I kept a safe distance to make sure that Anna wasn’t completely ruining something that could potentially write the chapters to the most exciting parts of her adult life. My fears weren’t even cold when Anna and Ricky started getting into their first series of fights that made Anna look too much like a young and needy teenage girl. I knew that Ricky had Anna right where he wanted her which was a very dangerous place to be for a naive sixteen-year-old girl. Anna wasted no time coming straight to my house the afternoon that Ricky broke her heart for the first time.

Unwillingness to commit to the seven-month-long relationship was the hot topic for two weeks long as I battled to get Anna to eat a single thing. She woke up the same way she fell asleep- eyes so puffed up that she could barely read her text messages to Ricky begging him to take her back along with researched essays on how uncommitted you are allowed to be in a relationship.

The poor girl said just about everything to get him back. I was never allowed to read any of the beg texts, well during that time at least- I read it after the fact and no human should ever grovel that low for any other human being. I never commented on the beg messages as it wouldn’t have really added any value to our friendship plus those texts were embarrassing enough and none of that was needed any further.

After Anna couldn’t get through to Ricky with any of her beg texts, she made the decision to move to her rich uncle. The decision must have been one of her hardest decisions yet, well at least for a sixteen-year-old girl because I knew for a fact that she would have rather filmed herself chewing broken glass before ever even considering living with her well-off asshole of an uncle. In her world living so close to Ricky and not being with him was like chewing glass and trying to be friends with him as he suggested was much like swallowing the sharp broken bits.

The final text Anna sent Ricky was a goodbye message that Funnily enough I was allowed to read as I had to spell check it and make sure that it was a goodbye message sure to go down as one of the most memorable goodbye messages in the hall of famous messages of all time. It was quite well written if I may say so myself; I am not proud that I deleted most of her message and wrote something that would make it into the history books. It wasn’t going to make a difference anyway as it was a final goodbye.

 Anna will to this day still not admit that it most probably was my fantastic writing that brought them back together. Ricky couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing Anna again and was willing to explore her researched theories on being uncommitted in a relationship. It sounded like a lot of work to him but he was willing to try. That wasn’t his actual comment on their relationship, merely my snarky judgment on his transparent mind games he attempted to play with Anna. He almost had her right where he wanted her but her impatience flipped the scales into her favor. Anna had no idea exactly what she had just accomplished for herself.

Never have you seen a couple so madly, irritatingly, and disgustingly in love as Anna and Ricky the day Ricky decided to take Anna back. Surely people cannot be that inconsiderate to other people in their surroundings. They had a tongue for lunch and I had my breakfast from that morning a second time around. They had gotten through their first rough patch as a couple just in time for their first anniversary. Just wait until you learn Ricky’s real reason for actually ending the relationship as it paves the way for their next rough patch. Anna would at least be the ‘’chasee’’ for the second wave of rough road.

Anna grew a little older and wiser in two years. Eighteen was a particularly good body year for her and she didn’t let the opportunity of being desired to pass her by. Lust was a new feeling that Anna didn’t understand but wanted to explore. Anna was always afraid that I would judge her so I had to make my own conclusions which more than often of the times were correct. Looking from the outside gives you a much wiser insight. She always skimmed over the juiciest details but luckily I was around her most of the time and I had the amazing human advantage of sight.

Anna went too far that year and broke Ricky into a weaker, more pathetic puddle of stuff that Ricky had first melted Anna into. Ricky was the chaser for that period in their relationship and Anna made sure he knew it. She lost her final marbles when she broke up with Ricky for some dumb kid who couldn’t even comprehend the concept of a children’s story I quickly wrote one rainy afternoon. At least Ricky could keep up a conversation with me, quite impressively so if I might add.

 Anna cheated, Ricky chased and I avoided answering the tough questions that only Anna could answer. It’s quite funny you know, when faced straight with pain one can cringe, cry and fall to your knees or dish out that same amount of pain using those hidden ammo daggers that all humans keep in their arsenal for later.

 If you don’t know what I am talking about then lucky for you, you have been sheltered by your loving guardians till now- Good luck to you once you find yourself in a real-life situation where at some point the other person’s opinion is going to differ from yours and…. What am I doing- I don’t want to give any spoiler alerts away. You will find out soon enough.

Ricky gave up the chase as well as his ammo dagger and finally gave Anna the real reason for breaking up with her that first time around. He believed that he couldn’t commit to a relationship because he had proved it. Ricky stood there on the peer confessing his love and mistakes to Anna. It really looked like something out of a movie scene. Come to think of it majority of their surreal moments looked like it was cut right out of a corny romantic film with one major difference; their plotline was the furthest thing from corny if it wasn’t anything less than Oscar nominee worthy I wouldn’t have stuck around all of these years. A huge chunk of my material comes from the scandalous lives of those two.

I could see Anna’s soul taking a dive into the waves as Ricky told her about his steaming evening with that girl that he worked with. I could only assume that that was what he was telling her because she stopped, cringed, and fell to her knees on the wooden peer floor. I had known it all along; I was just waiting for Ricky to confirm it or for Anna to use her common sense.

There is no space for common sense though when you are being chased. I knew that Anna had nothing to throw back at Ricky on that peer to hurt him for what he had just confessed to her because she had already played her hand; Anna had made sure that Ricky found out about the infidelity with the young stupid boy so that their break up would be easier. Anna didn’t have time to grow a pair of balls back then; she was too busy being a slut. At least I know now why Anna never shared more than the skimmed surface details with me; I’m super judgemental.

That beautiful scenic ocean peer moment laid the foundation for the next year of rough terrain. Just to add extra glam to it Ricky had proposed to Anna, It didn’t surprise me that she said yes but I was taken aback by the fact that Ricky had even popped that question in the first place; marriage went against every fiber of his being, and that came straight out of his own mouth.

 I must admit that the dramatic moments were quite juicy and intense with Ricky trying to get over the fact that the love of his life (information he didn’t completely confirm until that moment he nearly lost Anna on the peer) cheated on him with some toyboy and Anna trying to work through the fact that Ricky could keep something from her for so long.

 All Anna could think about was; what else was he keeping from her. She could at least spend the rest of their lives together finding it out-  as she did say yes to that corny yet very weirdly timed question (Information that she only too confirmed on that peer that day, she loved him enough to say yes.).

As the game would so have it, Anna spent the next patch of rough on the chasing end. Being Ricky’s fiancé made her realize just how much she actually loved him and she beat herself up with the guilt of breaking that toyboys virginity in a filthy night clubs bathroom (That is one badge Anna at least gets to pin on her big girl shirt with pride even by my standards- girls can pop cherries too you know.) and Ricky knew it. He took that power seat opportunity for something extremely risky but he played it so smoothly.

The idea that Ricky had proposed to Anna would be the next set of juicy stories that had shaped their relationship and brought it to new heights. I don’t exactly know what his exact pitch went but I assume it must have gone something like this; “so babe, my perfect Anna, do you think that we would have cheated on each other if we had been given the chance to explore new sexual experiences in the safety of our relationship, I mean it isn’t biologically normal for any kind of species to want to have the same sexual partner for the rest of its natural life”.

 I’m almost sure that he didn’t even put it so poetically but whatever he had said had got Anna thinking and the couple got the ball rolling on a really exciting sexual future.

The more the merrier is their motto. For some time at least it looked like they had found a way to deal with their hurt, channeling it into something useful and sexy in the bedroom. Their patchy road seemed clear of any manholes for some time at least but don’t even for a second think that that was the end of Anna and Ricky’s story and that they all lived happily ever after.

 We celebrated Anna’s Twenty-Eighth birthday not so long ago and the couple is still going strong. I’ve lost tabs on who’s got the current upper hand and who’s on the chase but I can tell you that I have yet to come across another couple who have lived and conquered through such a variety of bad patches that life threw at them and that they dug for themselves with such passion and creativity.

You can only imagine the sagas those two have gotten themselves into in recent years. If it’s any conciliation their bad patch roads metaphorically burnt down and crumbled into the molten center of the earth and new roads had to literally be rebuilt. I still watch from a safe non-judgemental distance whilst secretly gathering all this valuable writing material and I pledge to keep you updated on their relationship all the way till the end of one of our lives.

 I have safeguarded my spot in their scandalous love life – I found a writing apprentice that finds as much interest in Anna and Ricky’s absurd patch of the road; I have a pool running and I’ve got a lot of money riding on the success of their relationship till death tears them apart.  

Ladies and gentlemen, please place your bets for the chase. Your different betting options are as follows; call the next chaser in the upcoming bad patch and for an extra bonus win calls the next bad patch scenario. Lastly, you can bet big for the long run and call whether Anna and Ricky are going to make it till the natural end of their relationship or call it a day and dive for the waves.