Shrouded in fog

“What a day,” Jay sighed, his car pulling up to a red light. Night had fallen and traffic was bumper-to-bumper. People walked the streets, rugged up in coats and scarves, their breaths misting up the sidewalks creating their own personal fog. “I need to get out of here.”

The light turned green and he drove. Out of the city with no destination in mind, his headlights leading the way. The radio played soft rock interspersed with news and weather updates. The night promised a clear but cold night. But Jay didn’t care. It was time to get away from it all.

Work. Life. Other things he didn’t want to think about.

Luckily he had no one to answer to. He lived alone. No girlfriend and few friends. No one would call, except maybe...he reached down and turned off his cell phone. No need for distractions or any follow up questions.

It was time to clear his head.

He passed houses with lights on, smoke curling lazily from chimneys. Here and there he glanced at families in the windows, in their lounges. Families of two, three, four. Some had more. Some people were lucky enough to have that. They got what they wanted. But not Jay. “Perpetually alone” he murmured. 

She came unbidden to his mind. She always did. And no amount of work, social life, booze, or drugs could make him forget about her. She lived in his mind.

Maybe that’s why he was driving away from the city. To get away from her.

“Fuck…” he grumbled, turning up the radio. Maybe Metallica could blast her image from his mind. Soon the shoulder-to-shoulder houses gave way to wide expanses of land. Farmland. Industrial land. A mixture of cows and sheds, sheep and silos. The green grass shining in the moonlight.

...Now it’s time for your afterhours playlist…

Jay checked the clock on the dash. It read 10:00. “Jesus…where did the time go?”

He was so preoccupied with forgetting about everything that he didn’t realise he’d been driving for hours.

“I better get back home.”

Jay pulled his sedan over to the side of a nondescript road surrounded by wire fencing and grassy fields. It was dark both ways without a single streetlight. At the moment he felt like the only person in the world and he opened the door. 

He wasn’t ready to go home just yet.

The night sky was smeared with stars, like they’d been spread with a knife. And it was quiet. Perfect. Absolute. Impossibly quiet. Not a rustle of grass, not the moo of a cow. Even the gravel under his shoes made no noise.

Out here there was nothing and Jay imagined this is what space would be like. It was appealing. He closed his eyes and let the silence consume him. Here he’d found the perfect place. The place where he could forget her and everything else.

He would spend the rest of his life here.

Unfortunately he couldn’t do that. Jay lingered, the desire to stay there almost overwhelmed him but, just as he was about to give in, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

He cried out in shock.

She was standing before him. So close he could touch her, but he wouldn't dare. She wore the same clothes: jeans, green top, casual but sexy. Long, black hair, straightened, shining in the moonlight. She looked the same.

Well, almost the same.

Her eyes, those dark eyes, burning holes in him and her mouth, those lips he yearned to once taste were twisted, filled with hate.

How is this possible?

Jay blinked.

She was gone.

“What the hell…?” He looked around. Expecting to see her behind him, or...somewhere. But she was gone. It was just him and the silence.

Putting it down to being tired, Jay climbed back into his car and turned on his phone. He was greeted with half a dozen messages and phone calls. All of them from Detective Harmon.

The messages said to call him back as soon as possible. He didn’t bother listening to the voicemails, they would say the same.

The car took off, tires screeching in the gravel, shattering the silent night. 

He drove, thinking about the questions he was asked and the answers he gave. He was sure he answered them correctly, covering his ass. But then the rumination started and the doubts. They filtered in, like weeds threading their way through cracks in concrete. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, “You’re getting in your own head. Just calm down, get home and get some sleep. It will all work out.”

Jay brought his hand away from his eyes…

“Oh shit!” he screamed and jerked the steering wheel. The car was pushing 100, rounding a curve when he saw her. She was standing in the middle of the road. The headlights running up her jeans, her green top. Her long dark hair hung loosely, covering her face. Covering the...changes.

The car swerved and careened off the side and slammed into a tree.

Jay opened his eyes. Bright light pierced through the thin slits of his eyelids and he fought against the urge to close them again. Instead he blinked and slowly the light dulled, his surroundings became clearer. He was still in his car. The airbags had been deployed and the front windshield was destroyed, chips of glass littered the crumpled dash and the seat and his clothing. A cold air blew through the smashed windows and he shivered, sitting back in the seat. Through the windshield he saw a large oak tree, solid and immovable, the fender wrapped around it like a poorly wrapped present. Beyond that he saw nothing but a thick white fog and Jay wondered if this was the afterlife.

Then he felt the pain in his shoulder. He was still alive. In pain but alive.

Relieved, he checked over himself, he was stiff and sore but otherwise ok.

The rear-view mirror was still intact and Jay checked himself out. There was a cut above his left brow, dried blood ran a crusted trickle down the side of his grubby face.

“Nothing different there,” he croaked and began searching for his phone. He found it in the footwell, the screen smashed. Reaching down, he picked it up and tried to bring up the screen but it was busted.

“Great,” he muttered, tossing the phone away. “Just great.”

Unbuckling his seatbelt, Jay pushed his mangled door open. The sound of breaking glass and twisted metal broke the foggy silence and Jay climbed out. He stood back, admiring accordion-like remains of his car.

“Lucky.”

Glancing around, he was surrounded by thick, bright fog and aside from the tree and car he saw nothing. It was completely silent. No wind through the trees, no birds singing, no cars driving past. Nothing.

Eerie.

Jay turned, unsure of which way to go. He assumed the road would be directly away from the car and he was about to head off when he stopped suddenly. Was that someone at the tree?

He squinted into the fog, it seemed to have thickened, the tree was barely visible. Just a silhouette in the whiteness. But next to it, it looked like someone was standing there, as still as a billboard.

“Hello?” He squinted, was it a trick of the light and fog? “Hello?” he repeated, louder, though he wasn’t sure why. His voice carried perfectly in the still air. The silhouetted person didn’t move. They just stood there, looking at him.

Jay suddenly felt uncomfortable, like eyes were on him. And not just from the silhouette. But eyes all around him. Watching. Waiting.

He slowly walked towards the silhouette, silently over the green, dewy grass. Like approaching a wild animal, careful not to scare it away. He was almost within arm’s reach and the silhouette hadn’t moved. Just stood there and he was sure it wasn’t a person.

“Hello,” he said again, reaching out. He was almost touching the silhouette when it suddenly moved. A sharp, jerky movement like they were attacked by a bee and Jay pulled his hand back in shock. 

“Jesus,” he breathed. “Sorry if I scared you. I called out but-“ he stopped. The silhouette turned and walked away, disappearing into the fog, but before they did he caught a glimpse of a green top.

“Rachel?” Jay gasped. “Rachel! Wait!” he called, his voice echoing all around him. He saw her silhouette, faint in the fog. Like a wisp that would blow away in the wind. He chased after her, calling her name but she never stopped. The fog was thick enough to disorient him and he knew he was lost, but he didn’t care, he had to catch up with her. Had to talk to her. To see…her.

He ran and ran but she was always out of reach, she was simultaneously just in sight and almost out of sight. A wraith, a ghost. 

He didn’t know how long he chased her but it felt like an age and he never got closer. 

Then the heavy fog lifted, and Jay found himself on the road in the middle of a town.

“Huh?”

Two-storey brick buildings ran up and down the street. In the fog they looked faint, almost translucent and they towered over him. Some of the buildings had gallery’s extending over the sidewalks while others looked abandoned, with windows and doors bordered up. Cars lined the streets, some looked new while others lay rusted, broken with missing doors and flat tyres. But what surprised Jay the most was that there was no one here. Not a single person walked the streets or drove past.

“Hello?” he called, his voice bouncing off the buildings, leading him down the street.

Nothing. 

He shivered, but not from the cold

“Rachel?” he called out. “It’s Jay Rainer.”

“I know,” came a cold, raspy voice right in his ear. Jay’s blood froze and a chill ran up his spine. He turned and there she was, right next to him, standing as still as a statue, arms by her sides. Wearing the same jeans and green top that she wore that night. Her long dark hair hung loosely, like a curtain, hiding her face. 

“R-Rachel...” he stammered. He reached out with a shaky finger, parting the curtain of black hair. It was thick, wet and hung in clumps and when he parted it, he cried out in shock and stepped back. The curtain of hair fell back into place, but he saw it. He saw the face. It wasn’t Rachel’s face there. There was no face! 

A blank, featureless face.

“What the hell?” was all he could manage as Rachel raised a black-stained hand and pointed over his shoulder. Jay spun around and there was another Rachel, standing stock still, hair hiding her face. 

This one pointed to her right and there was another Rachel and she pointed and there was another, and another. He was surrounded by Rachel’s, all faint in the fog, all pointing at him. The buildings loomed up behind her, looking down on him like they were admonishing him. 

Then they moved towards him in unison, like silent wraiths, their feet shuffling, their arms pointing accusing fingers at him.

“R-Rachel, s-s-stop. Let’s talk.”

“You did this”, they all said. At the same time. Her naturally quiet voice thickened, hardened, and Jay felt the accusations down to the core of his being. 

“No…no” he murmured, spinning around. All the Rachel’s were there, faces hidden, pointing at him. “No!” he shouted, his voice echoed off the surrounding buildings with such force they cracked, shattered and tumbled to the sidewalk with loud, clinking thuds. Without another thought, Jay sprinted past the faceless Rachels and down the road, stopping at an intersection. His ragged, panicked breaths sounded like a siren in the still air and his heart felt like it would thump out of his chest.

Scrape. Scrape.

He stared, wide-eyed, down the intersecting road. It was shrouded in dense fog and he watched. Waiting.

They came. More Rachel’s. Dozens of them. Hundreds of them. Appearing out of the fog as if materialising out of thin air. All wore the same clothing. All shuffling down the road, boots scraping, arms stiff by their sides.

He turned, started to head back, but there were more of them, coming from behind, from his left, in front. In every direction they appeared, moving, not in any hurry.

Shit! Shit!

He saw the building on the corner. It looked like a pub. The door was wide open and he sprinted for it. Crossing the intersection as the Rachel’s came for him, but he beat them. He sprinted through the door and slammed it shut. There was no lock, nothing to keep the door closed but it was enough. The door remained closed.

He breathed out, chuckling. Not because it was funny, but in relief. He’d gotten away.

“What is this place?” 

He turned around and jumped in surprise. Instead of an empty, abandoned bar. It was filled with patrons. Music played and a smoky haze hung below the ceiling and people were standing at the bar, chatting, laughing while a bartender rushed back and forth filling orders.

Jay blinked. He recognised this place. It was Gary’s Tavern down on Beech St, his regular hangout. Circular tables lined the room, people sat and talked, bright spotlights shining on the walls where sports memorabilia hung. It was all the same. The same as…

Then he saw her. Rachel. Not the faceless Rachels but the one from that night. Smiling and wearing the same green top and jeans. 

She was talking to someone, he couldn’t see them but he knew who it was. He knew this night. This was the night. The night of the...incident.

He realised it was quiet now. The music stopped playing. The drinks stopped pouring. It was as if a switch had been thrown, turning everything off. But every single person in the room was looking at him. They stared. Unblinking. Frozen, like statues and Jay felt their judgement. 

The judgement he deserved.

“But what about her!” he yelled, pointing at Rachel who was still talking and laughing, oblivious to all that was going on. “She deserved it!”

What is going on?

Jay closed his eyes and counted to ten. He knew when he got to ten, he would open his eyes and be back in his car. 

He reached ten.

Opened his eyes.

He wasn’t in the car. 

They were all standing centimetres from him now, almost nose-to-nose. Surrounding him, staring at him with their unblinking eyes. 

Beyond them all Rachel had her hand on someone's arm. A tall, masculine man. His name was Jamie. Jay didn’t know him, but he was part of the reason why he did what he did.

He watched Rachel leave, but not before she gave him her number. He knew this because that’s what she did that night. And like that night he felt the anger boil within. Rachel left and Jay followed, brushing past the others, who all turned as one and watched him. She left by a second exit and he followed, pulling open the door and, instead of being in the alley like he was last time, he was in her home. Like he was that night.

She was still in those clothes when he opened the door. Commanded her to stand still while he turned off the lights.

She was facing away, standing as still as a statue. Frightened, arms by her sides.

The anger within him raged again and there was a knife in his hand. He approached her from behind. He smelled the fragrance she always wore. 

She wore it the day she rejected him. In that same bar. The bar they always frequented but never spoke. Always in different crowds. He watched her from afar. Lusting after her. Until he finally got up the courage to talk to her. She was friendly at first and they talked like they’d known each other for years.

She smiled, she flirted. She wanted him.

So he asked her out.

She said no.

The anger surged.

He took away her beauty that night. If he couldn't have her, then Jamie certainly couldn’t. No one could. She would be scarred for life. She would lose all that defined her.

She stood there while he cut her up, carved away at her like he was whittling a piece of wood. She never screamed. Never moved. Never knew who it was that did it. He carved her from behind. When he finished, he walked around. He didn’t do this last time. He had to see it. To see what he did. He parted the curtain of hair. He wasn’t scared this time. He knew what to expect.

Except it wasn’t her face. It wasn’t her body.

It was his.

His face, cut to ribbons. Flaps of his skin hung loosely, the commissure sliced to the jawline. Blood poured from a dozen cuts.

“What?” he said dumbly, dropping the knife.

The regret came later. After he left. He realised he did something wrong. Something evil. It pulled at his soul. He would go to hell for it.

He felt a fiery pain in his chest and looked down. The knife was buried deep in his chest, up to the hilt. He looked up, expecting to see Rachel holding the knife. But it was him. His cut, bloodied face looked back at him.

Everything went black.

Jay’s body was found that morning, near the spot where his car crashed. But his cause of death was the knife plunged into his heart. The same knife used in the Rachel Addison assault. Police interviewed Jay Rainer the day before as a person of interest but he was not arrested.

Jay’s death was determined a suicide and the Rachel Addison case was officially closed.