The Monster of the Outside

There’s a monster outside.

It shrieks and rages, insatiable and endless. It speeds through the air, sending trees toppling and threatening to cave in the roof. Boundless amounts of anger fuel it, but it has become my friend. It is a distraction from the Inside, where the people feel nothing but anger. Inside, there is a battle raging, almost as fierce as the Monster of the Outside. When the people of Inside start to war again, the Monster always seems to strike, and then the people disperse to hide from the Monster. No use screaming when you can’t hear each other, I suppose. Just like the people, the Monster seems angrier than usual today. Its eyes flash, searing through the windows, and its howl is tumultuous and heartbroken. But today, the people do not hide from the Monster. They continue to shout at each other, roars from the Monster occasionally punctuating their cries.

I stare out the window, willing myself not to feel anything. I try to block out the wails in the background, but they reverberate through the walls of the tiny four-room house. The Monster’s eyes illuminate my room, momentarily boasting the mess of a bed pushed up against the wall and the miniscule desk covered in papers. Then everything fades back into black. I press my hands against the cold glass, my breath fogging as I gaze at the lone tree a long way in front of the house. It is bare and alien, its branches twisting toward the sky and blowing every which way. I am the tree, I realize. I stand alone, defenseless against the elements, being pulled one way and then another. The Monster’s eyes flash again, and this time, the power that comes from it splits the tree in half, and it is left to burn. I feel my eyes widen, and my hands begin to shake. If a tree can get split so easily, what does that mean for me?

The Monster’s tears pour from the sky, dousing the fire and blurring the scene before me. I curl up in the window seat and squeeze my eyes shut. In the background, the people of Inside have finally gone quiet. The remaining conversation is hushed and slow. I swallow the lump in my throat and rub my stinging eyes. I don’t have time for tears. Another flash sears through my eyelids, and my eyes fly open in a moment of panic. Then it passes, and I focus on breathing. Calm down, it will all be okay…

A knock sounds at the door. I sit up abruptly, pulling my knees to my chest. I do not respond to the knock, but the door slowly creaks open anyway.

“Tristan?” Every muscle in my body tenses. It’s the queen. Her ice blue eyes glint in what little light comes through the window. “What are you doing in here, baby? Come be with the family.” I can’t breathe. I stare at her, wide-eyed, unable to even blink. Her smile melts when I don’t respond. “Oh, honey, are you scared? It is pretty loud, huh? Come on.” She glides across the room in four steps and grasps my hand. I don’t realize how scared I must look until her eyes widen and she leans in to study my face, her eyes full of concern.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Come on, let’s talk to your father.” She pulls on my arm, forcing me to follow, and drags me to the common room. The king sits on a ratty couch, head resting in his hands. The queen sets me down onto the couch next to him and stands before us, arms folded across her chest, leveling a glare at the king. “Well. Our child won’t be around us. You don’t love me. What happens now?” The king looks up, glowering. I shrink into myself, willing the ground to open up under me and swallow me whole.

“Lyssa. Look. I don’t think we’re good for each other anymore. I think this needs to end.”

The queen gives a bitter laugh. “I knew you would say that. This is all your fault, Aidan! If it weren’t for you, we would have had more for our kid, and we could have been happy! But you insisted on marrying me, and look where that got us!” Her voice rises with each sentence.

“My fault?” The king stands. “My fault?! You threw yourself at me for years! I was just giving you what you wanted!”

They continue to shout as the Monster’s roars grow louder. I press my hands over my ears until I can’t take it anymore. I dash for the door, yanking it open and running Outside. The Monster greets me with open arms, ruffling my hair and nearly knocking me over. I stumble, but I continue to run, water pelting my face and stinging my eyes. Get away get away get away get away… The mantra repeats in my head, spurring my burning legs to move faster. My eyes burn, and tears mix with the water running down my face. I rub a hand over my face, stumbling over loose rocks and twigs. I reach the tree and pause. I reach out a hand to the knotted black bark. Tears seep from the tree, the wood of the split trunk daring me to come closer. It doesn’t want to be broken. It doesn’t want anyone to see it broken. It wants everything to go back to before.

I walk to the other side of the tree, where half of it is bent over the ground like a shelter. I crouch down and sit under the shelter. I fit like it fell this way just for me. The shelter protects me from the Monster. The water patters down around me, but it doesn’t touch me. The rhythm is hypnotic, and I find my eyelids growing heavy. The Monster rumbles one last time, and then the world goes quiet and black.

---

Someone is shaking me and the Monster is gone. My eyes crack open, and the immediate pink and orange of the world makes me close them again. “Whahappen,” I mumble, then squint up to see the queen kneeling over me, a tiny smile on her face.

“Good morning, Tristan,” she says softly. “Come inside and get cleaned up.” I look down and find myself covered in mud. She offers me a hand. I reach for it, then hesitate, glancing around the tree and back at the Inside. The queen follows my gaze. “Ah,” she sighs. “Yeah. He’s not there now. He won’t be living with us anymore. He’ll send me the divorce papers when he gets them.” I stare at her in disbelief. The king is gone? I feel the corners of my mouth turn up slightly, and then I’m crying again. “Oh, baby.” She pulls me in and I clutch her close to me. We stay like that until the sun has peeked over the mountains in the distance. Then I pull back, wipe my eyes, and grab her hand. We stand and walk back to the Inside. We reach the door and I turn back to look at the beautiful dawn. I smile. Today isn’t the only thing that will be new. I walk Inside and close the door behind me.