Sunset Drive

The steep crags rolled by as they made their way north on the 445 beyond Sparks. The late afternoon sun began to give the blacks, tans, and oranges across the landscape that beautiful, increasingly vivid glow he loved about this stretch of road. The distinct lack of green gave the impression that this area was devoid of life, though he knew that not to be true. If you knew where to look you would find an abundance of life all competing to survive in this harsh dry environment. 

Feathers by Novo Stella played softly as they came around the last bend and Pyramid Lake came into view. It was a perfect melody to welcome the emerald water before them. He could hardly believe this was the last remnant of an ancient lake. According to the local Paiutes, Lake Lahontan was home to a race of red-haired giants. He smiled at the idea. He loved folklore. He didn’t believe in god, but he knew strange things existed beyond our understanding.

He slowed the truck as they approached Nixon, the small town which the local tribe called home. It was hardly a town, more like a village. You really only notice it because you have to slow down to 25 mph as you take the 2 or 3 curves down its half-mile main street. Dead trucks and other heaps of metal rotting in yards didn’t add any charm to this speck of green in a desolate wilderness. Other unkempt land and dilapidated houses seemed to be all there was to this town. Why would anyone choose to live here? he wondered every time he drove by. However, he knew if you looked up, and took in the entirety of the area, it truly was stunning. Coming out the otherside the speed limit picked back up and, switching gears, he sped out of town. 

She hadn’t said a word since before they had left Reno. Not since that explosive argument in the casino parking garage. He had been scary, perhaps frightening. He wouldn’t deny it, though he would insist it was unlike him. So, she was understandably upset and just stared out the window silently. It was hard for him to see how they had gotten to this point. They had loved each other so much. The love wasn’t completely gone. At least... he still felt it. He wondered if she did too. But, her body language seemed to suggest she didn’t feel anything anymore. They had been out this way before, many times. The vast open space was powerful out here. The sunsets were unlike anywhere else in the world. He couldn’t see why anyone would make a home in Nixon, but he could see why men would make their way out further north to herd cattle and be alone on the land. It must be what true freedom feels like, he thought. 

“You could say something you know,” he said softly. He sounded meek and he felt it too.  “You don’t have to give me the silent treatment.” She sat there motionless. “I know I haven’t been the best partner, but I try, ya know? That’s gotta count for something.” The landscape opened up and the first playa appeared on their right. A rabbit darted in front of the truck just to become another crumpled piece of meat on the road behind them. Damn suicidal rabbits. Why do they do that? he wondered. Another half dozen would likely litter the road behind them before dark. Never Swerve, it was a rule on this road. He learned that from watching as people layed down their lives year after year while trying to save these dumb creatures who just seemed to want to die. So you just drive straight and fulfill their suicidal desire. You feel bad for the first few, but then you realize, it's a you or them game and well, it wasn’t gonna be him. 

He once hit an owl out here. It was night and he saw it in his high-beams standing at the side of the road. It was big. He thought it was a roadpost at first until it turned its head to look at the oncoming lights. It took off and flew in front of him. It was going to clear him by a longshot, but then it doubled back. It almost made it too, but it hit the side view mirror and he saw its limp body hit the trailer he was towing before disappearing into the impossibly dark night behind him. The image of it in full flight, majestically illuminated against an ink black background was one of his most treasured memories. That one hurt. So beautiful, so sad. That's what this environment did though. It killed anything that wasn’t prepared for it. It could have killed him if he had tried to swerve, even just an inch, to save that bird.

“How many rabbits do you think we’ve killed driving up this way, huh? You know, over the years?” He tried to put a light hearted tone on the morbid question. Nothing. She just sat there, head turned away from him. Looking at her, he wondered if this was the end of them. He hoped she saw all of the things she had done wrong too. It wasn’t just him who had brought them to this point. It always takes two. He had worked so hard to make a good life for them, to provide everything they might need to be happy. They had a house, they had jobs, they had friends, they were financially secure. At least they were for a while. It was just as much her fault as it was his that they had lost everything. She had agreed to the investments that went south. 

They were supposed to be sure things. He didn’t understand why they didn’t work out. He had the sensations that had always guided him well all throughout his life. The sensations and the visions telling him they were the right thing to do. The vision, some call it déjà-vu, was so strong. That was what happened every time he knew he was on the right path. This whole thing had happened before, he just had to follow the path and his memories would guide him. They called it déjà-vu, but he knew they were memories. He didn’t totally understand where they came from, but they were there and they were real. Maybe his life was on repeat, maybe he was on his deathbed and his life was flashing before his eyes, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was they had always guided his path and were never wrong. Just like now. This had all happened already. The ringing in his ears mounted and the vision came on stronger. Yes, they had lost it all, but as he was seeing now, they were meant to be here, driving down this road. They were on the right path. 

“It’s gonna all be ok. This has happened before. This trip was the right thing to do. You’ll see.  I know you don’t believe me. Your doubt has never really bothered me. No one has ever believed me. It’s not your fault. It’s hard to believe. I know it.” 

Silence. 

The sun continued to get lower in the western sky. Shadows cast off rock formations stood in stark contrast to the light glowing off the hills and white dusty plains. The landscape opened up more on their left as the hills approached on the right. Any minute he would see Empire in the distance. That dead outpost, built on gypsum. He really felt bad for those people. Lured to a company town in the middle of nowhere. Too many eggs in one basket, he thought, that had been their problem. It's a hard lesson that too many towns had to suffer. You can’t have too many people dependent on just one company. Empire lasted longer than most like it, but ultimately it died like every other company town. Now it was just a skeleton with a few poor souls living there. Just the ones who were too poor or too old to get out. They were still lucky, he supposed, they had a store with a gasoline pump. It didn’t sell much though. Mostly just liquor and junk food. 

Hell, I know things are bad, but they could still probably afford to buy a place outright here in Empire! he thought. “What do you think about that?” he blurted. “Oh, sorry, I realize that was only in my head. I know it sounds crazy, but the best ideas start with crazy thoughts. I think Steve Jobs,” he paused, “or you know, someone like him said that once… I think. Anyway, I know we don’t have much right now, but we could maybe still be able to buy a place out here in Empire. Start fresh in the great wide open. We could watch these sunsets every night. I know you love these sunsets. I mean, that’s why we’re driving out here.” Still nothing. “Come on! Look this way,” he said, trying to get any sort of response. “The light is amazing over here. The sun is getting lower and the sky is starting to change, just like you like it.” 

“I’m gonna put on something different, ok? Once we hit the desert I like having something a little more lively than jazz. How about The Doors? Yea, they’re always good.” He grabbed his phone and keeping one eye on the road, he moved through his music. The familiar intro to Break On Through came over the speakers. He was instantly filled with giddy energy. Turning up the volume, he began to move in his seat to the rhythm. “You like this one! I know you do! Come on, this is great desert music!” She still wouldn’t budge. He wasn’t going to let her ruin this moment. This album combined with this scenery was just too good. 

He realized they were going to make it off the road and onto the desert before the sun actually set. It filled him with more excitement. While the sunset looked nice from here, it was even more spectacular when you stood out in the middle of the vast expanse of the nearly 500 square-mile Black Rock Desert Wilderness. He slowed as they came up to the railroad tracks marking the beginning of Gerlach, the last outpost before the real solitude of the northern desert lands. He slowed again to 25 mph and wound through town. “How about here? We could live here. It’s better than Empire, albeit not by much, but at least there are more people around and they have a restaurant and a couple bars. I know you like the restaurant here. You always said it was charming in a country-bumpkin sort of way.” I gotta think of a way to bring her around. How could she not be excited to be out here? The situation was becoming more and more confusing to him. 

As they came out on the other side of town, he revved the engine and they sped off. He wanted to make sure they had at least a few minutes to enjoy the last rays of sunshine. The speed limit outside of town was 55 mph, but if he got onto the West Playa Highway there wasn’t a speed limit and he could get them out there in time. The turnoff always came up faster than he expected, no matter how many times he made this drive. He slowed quickly and made his way carefully down the gravel entrance. He kept the truck in first gear, taking the road slowly. It was rough here, full of deep divots. Plenty of people, too eager to get out on that perfectly flat surface, take this spot too fast and rip the bottom right off of their vehicle.

“You ready? This is the fun part!” he almost shouted. They rolled onto the soft flat playa and he accelerated, smoothly shifting through the gears. He pushed his foot to the floor. This was the closest he ever felt to flying. They didn’t have the best truck, but he could get it up over 100 mph out here. She’d never gotten behind the wheel on this road. She didn’t like the idea of it. She said it made her nervous to drive so fast even if it was perfectly flat and there was nothing to hit. That was always fine with him, he loved it. 

He followed the West Playa Highway as fast as their truck could go until the Black Rock came into view, then he slowly and steadily turned his wheel in its direction. “Check out that light. Isn’t it amazing? Every time. Every damn time. I love it out here. I love it that you love it out here. I’m so glad we came. And we made it for sunset just like I’d hoped.” The sky was a mix of deep reds, purples, pinks and light blues swirling below two massive lenticular clouds. Nowhere else did all of these colors appear together in the sky, but somehow here, they did.  

He drove until it just seemed like the right spot. He came to a slow roll and pulled the truck around facing east. He turned off the engine but left the stereo on. He got out and pulled down the tailgate. He walked around to the passenger side and opened it. She didn’t move, or even flinch. Her eyes just looked out, unmoving and empty. “Come on now, I know you’re mad, but let's enjoy this together.” He paused, giving her a moment. “After that drive I know there is nothing I can say to fix things, but can’t we at least enjoy this sunset together?” A moment later he continued, “here I’ll even help you out” He grabbed her by the hips, pulled her out of the cab and put her arm over his shoulders. He walked her over to the tailgate and lifted her up. He climbed up next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She felt cold. He heard Touch Me come on and he started to humm. He loved this song and thought its lyrics about stars falling from the sky were perfect for this moment. 

As the sun touched the mountains he looked behind them and saw that Razorback Mountain was so bright it could have been on fire. The song came to an end and the silence that followed was deafening. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Then the ringing came, the vision, and then the glow. It was intense this time. He felt warm, euphoric. He was in the right place. He had followed it and he knew he was in the right place. Everything had happened the way it was supposed to. He took another deep breath. “I love you, you know. I love you so much. I can’t believe this is the way it ends, but here we are.” He took his arm from around her shoulders, took her hand in his and kissed the back of it. “I will never forget what we had,” he said softly. He couldn’t stop the few tears that came. He let them roll down his face. They fell on her hand and glistened in the fading light. He placed her hand on her thigh and looked back up as the last sliver of sun dropped out of view.

He felt a gust of wind. Like clockwork, the rapidly changing temperatures in the desert caused wind at this time of day. Another gust came, stronger this time. In the corner of his eye he saw her waver. She fell to the ground. He looked down at her lifeless body with longing sadness. It was over. His voice cracking with pain, “I really wish it hadn’t ended this way,” he said. He hopped down, stowed the tailgate and, feeling the world start to spin, he walked around to the driver's side. Getting in the cab he slowed his breath and everything came back into focus. He wondered where to go next. He turned on the engine, then the ringing came, the vision, and the warm glow. Wherever he was going at least he knew he was on the right path. 

As he drove away he saw her in his rear view, dust off his tires swirling around her, like a rabbit lying in the road.