A Life for a Life

“This is so boring,” Fran huffed, rolling her eyes at her friend across the table.

“Come on, just give it a chance. The book says all we have to do now is close our eyes and take deep breaths. What if it actually works?” said Seline with the fetching look she always used to get Francine to follow along with her insane schemes.

“Nothing is going to happen, Sel. This is all absurd.”

“If nothing happens, then we’ll just go back to our shitty lives and forget we ever tried. Ok?”

Fran groaned but held Seline’s fingers, which felt clammy in her apparent excitement. Or perhaps desperation described it better.

Between their joined hands was a black-red candle, lit with a flame that wiggled frantically amid their discussion. Crystals and stones of various colors encircled the relic and trailed all around the room because Seline had read that these would protect them from any unwanted spirits. 

The book explained that if any dark entities slipped in while they were ‘away’, anything could happen. 

“We need to call in our protectors,” Seline said aloud as she thought of that possibility.

“What?” stabbed Fran, opening one eye to check for any indication of how serious she was about this next step.

“Our angels, ancestors, our higher selves.”

Fran stifled laughter, saying, “Great Aunt Lily, the one that died chasing her dog across the train tracks back in 1891, please look after us as we travel to the underworld.” She waggled her eyebrows and waved magic hands all around their setup while Seline sat, unimpressed, until she finished. 

“Don’t joke! Did you really have a Great Aunt Lily? We’re sorry, Lily! She didn’t mean it.” 

Seline moved to grab her tarot deck from its satchel beside her. She inhaled slowly and closed her eyes as she shuffled and said, “All of our watchers, our loved ones on the other side, our familiars, our guides, and angels. Please be with us as we make this journey beyond the veil.” 

At this, Fran sat back, quiet. She let out an impatient sigh but closed her eyes as instructed while Seline continued. 

“We want to journey to the other side to ask for an escape. We want to jump. We want to recreate our timeline. This one is poisoned. It no longer serves us. Will you help us find the path that we desire?” 

She took another deep breath, in through her nose, then out through her mouth. She placed the deck just beside the trepid candle and coughed to call the attention of Fran, who might have been falling asleep, but actually felt herself slipping into a kind of trance, caught up in the strange ambiance Seline had summoned into the room. 

Seline was eyeing her now, looking from her to the deck, inviting her to pick a card. Fran did and viewed it herself before unsurely placing it on the table on the other side of the candle. 

“Ressurection,” Seline’s blue eyes flickered eagerly as they met with Fran’s. She opened her mouth, smiling, but seemed lost for words. 

“What does it mean?” Fran asked anxiously.

“It means,” she paused, searching for the word, “death.”

“What!” Fran replied, too loudly for the moment. The sound startled them both and even more so when Fran pushed herself away from the table, scraping her chair across the floor as she went. 

“No! Francine, do not break the circle,” Seline said cautiously, referring to the loop of salt that went all the way around them, enclosing them with the candles, stones, and curios that had been strategically placed with purpose. 

“Please,” Seline begged, “Sit.” 

Fran did. She was breathing heavily, nervously, but she looked over at her best friend, who had been by her side through so much. Who she would run away to when her boyfriend came home drunk. Whose shower she could use when hers was running cold. Who always looked out for her. 

Seline began again, sensing that her companion had calmed down enough to hear her.

“Death,” she said, the word pricking both their ears but with the next word came an immediate sense of relief, “Rebirth.”

Fran sat up straighter, signaling that she was ready to hear more.

“Rebirth?” she replied meekly.

“Look,” Seline said, hovering a black-painted fingertip over the image on the card. She pointed to a golden angel who was sounding a trumpet, then moved down to show three children who stood rejoicing and glowing from their little gray caskets. Yellow flowers bloomed from the sides of their stone beds, while underneath them appeared dead and crumpled weeds that stood there before they had risen. 

“See?” Seline continued, sensing that Fran now understood, “We need to release that what no longer serves us.” She looked up at her now, all seriousness in her blazing blue eyes. “We need to kill it to live the lives we deserve.” 

Without wanting to show it, Fran was feeling nervous again. She would usually follow Seline into anything. She trusted her with her whole life, but this was getting a little too serious for her liking. There was a heavy feeling steadily taking hold of her. Her breathing was low and deep, and felt like it had a life of its own. She could feel drops of sweat rolling down her chest.

Seline took Fran’s hands and held them tight. She closed her eyes and swayed a little as she began to chant, “We call to you! Our watchers, loved ones, familiars, guides, our angels on the other side, please guide our path out of the darkness. We surrender that which no longer serves us. We relinquish it to you. Please illuminate our path to well-being.”

Silence then fell. Fran held on as long as she could before fluttering her eyes open to witness Seline, whose faint movements she had felt but was startled to see now. Her body was jerking strangely in circular motions, her chin was erect, and her eyes rolled back to show their whites between vaguely blinking eyelids. The whole scene made Fran feel like she didn’t belong there; like she was watching something private that was not her business to see. She closed her eyes and hoped it would soon be over. 

Fran exhaled in relief as Seline finished at last, saying, “We thank you for your guidance and are forever beholden to your service.” 

A yank at her left hand signaled for Fran to follow suit. 

“Um, yeah. Thank you,” Fran offered. 

Seline finished with a deep breath and finally released her friend, looking at her excitedly. 

“Didn’t that feel amazing?! I think it actually might have worked!”

“What do you mean?” Fran asked, feigning passive.

“I guess we’ll just have to see how reality treats us these next few days. Then, we’ll know.”

Seline got up, feeling buoyant. She began extinguishing candles and thoughtfully plucking up the stones, then placing them back in the silk purse she kept them in.  

Fran felt suddenly nauseous as the smell of smoke and herbs filled her lungs. 

“I think I’m going to head home. I’m not feeling so great.”

Seline looked at her with concern but gave her a warm hug goodbye. 

“Call me when you get in,” she shouted as Fran softly shut the apartment door. 

Fran forgot to text Seline when she got home. 

She arrived to her boyfriend passed out drunk on the couch with the TV blaring after-hour commercial programming. He didn’t even budge when she accidentally kicked over a pile of boxes they hadn’t bothered to unpack months after moving in together. 

She walked through the living room and straight into the bathroom, where she turned on the yellow light to look at herself in the mirror. She grimaced at how tired she appeared, then turned the faucet for hot water and splashed the burning liquid onto her face. When she looked again, she was scrubbed all pink and splotchy. Wiping tears from her eyes, she turned from herself. 

Though her stomach rumbled, having skipped dinner for Seline’s seance, she walked straight to the mattress on the floor in the otherwise empty bedroom. She’d had enough of this day, and after kicking off her jeans, she threw herself into bed to finally put an end to it. 

As she closed her eyes, Fran stifled the pained cries that erupted from within. She hated that she’d gone along with Seline’s plan. How could she hope for anything better than what she was living right now? It was all she had known, and there was no way out no matter what she tried, least of all some crystal magic bullshit. 

In what felt like moments later, Fran was awoken by rays of sun flashing in her eyes. She took a startled inhale and was confronted with a fresh floral scent. Whirling her head around, she located the source: a huge bouquet of white and yellow flowers sitting atop a bedside table she didn’t recognize. 

She sat up, confused and a little scared. Where was she? This was her bedroom, but there were curtains where dusty blinds used to be. In a corner that was previously stark and empty, there was a cushion with a decorative pillow placed upon it. And beside her typically lonely mattress there was the mysterious new nightstand and beautiful flowers. 

After standing up cautiously, sure she was waking in an eerily realistic dream, she peeked from the bedroom door to see if her boyfriend was still sleeping where she left him on the couch. He wasn’t there. But what was there instead made her forget all about him. She stepped into the room and spun slowly, taking in her surroundings with wild, unbelieving eyes. 

The space was like something from her wildest dreams. Every inch was filled with adornments reminiscent of her favorite things. Prints of ocean scenes were hung on the walls, and the TV that was previously set up on a dusty old chest now sat between vintage books on a small wooden side table. There was even a bicycle that did not belong to her propped up by the front door. 

Covering her mouth, Fran crumpled to the floor, trembling and shaking her head in disbelief. Her heaving cries of shock were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing from where she left it in her jeans pocket. 

She moved tentatively back to her bedroom to answer it, afraid that any sudden movements would wake her from the bliss she’d slipped into. 

“Fran,” said Seline as soon as she answered. 

“Holy shit, Seline. Is this real?” asked Fran through joyful sobs. 

“Fran, where is Toby?” asked Seline in a shaking voice. 

“What? I don’t know. He wasn’t here when I woke up,” Fran wiped her nose as she walked to scan the small apartment once again. “Oh, my god. It’s all so beautiful!” she exclaimed, distracted by what she found in her new bathroom.

“Have you turned on the news today?” Seline asked, her desperation taking Fran by surprise.

“No, why? Aren’t you happy, Seline? Didn’t it work for you too?”

“Just turn on the news. It’s Toby. Your Toby. On every channel.”

This stopped Fran dead in her tracks. She made her way to a new sofa, draped with cozy blankets, and sat before reaching to grab the remote control from a pristine glass coffee table.

The television flashed on, and Fran jumped at the volume of it. 

She remembered how it had been blaring while Toby slept last night. She wished now that she had stopped to shut it off, that she had pulled him to stand and go to bed with her. Maybe then she wouldn’t be seeing his face on the screen as a newscaster declared, “The young man was found dead by a jogger this morning. Cause of death is yet to be determined.”