Mom life

After a long week that was filled with meetings, conferences, kids’ homework, and staying alive while commuting to work with the fellow crazy American drivers, we are home. Not just home, but home for a weekend. The bra is in our purse since we quickly took it off on the way out of the building and getting into our car. Shoes next and after kicking them off they fly across the room, hitting the wall and landing amongst the tower of shoes in the corner of the living room. We open the fridge and see a bottle of white wine chilling and know that this could be the peak of our day. But before we get to pop that cork, we grab some oversized sweats and sweatshirt to put on and get out of these restrictive business clothes from our day. Why are these clothes so uncomfortable? We grab the wine from the fridge, grab the cork screw and then pop it and clug clug clug into a nice glass. This glass happens to be from our best friend inscribed 'I like to wrap both hands around and swallow'. Our favorite! How could it not be? These glasses offer humor and talking points during a party or gathering. Tonight, though, we are gathered alone, and the humor is just being able drink in silence.

With the kids at grandma's house for the weekend, our plan for dinner is easy. Just throw some food in the oven and relax. Which frozen concoction shall be our dinner? How about a quick freezer pizza. Takes no time at all to cook and makes us feel like we are 16 again. Well, one glass of delicious wine turned into two and then three. Our face is starting to get flushed, our body temperature is increasing, and our head is a little fuzzy. The sweatshirt gets swapped for a tank top, a tighter one as we do not want the ladies to escape. We need to show off our very un-shaved legs and pull up our sweatpants, so they turn into a mix between shorts and capris. It has been a long winter and why do we need to shave when no one is seeing our bare legs anyways? As we relax even further, we start to doze off. The stress of the week falls from our shoulders as the quiet and the slightly drunkenness overcomes us. Feet propped up. Dozed turns to sleep. Deep sleep. 

BEEP BEEP BEEP... Jolts you awake! BEEP BEEP BEEP! Repeats. The room is filled with smoke, and you begin coughing. How long were you asleep? Long enough for someone to break in and start a fire, that's how long! Who could do that? Why? As we stumble around the house, opening windows and doors, flashing the neighborhood our headlights since it is still February and the tank top is thin. We then remember that the yummy food choice we decided to put in the oven must be the culprit. Grabbing the oven door and whipping it open, you see the baking dish covered in blackness with what was once edible food. Not anymore! It is the thought that counts, right? Perhaps bed should be next? Naw.. we have waited 5 days to relax, 50 hours working for a paycheck, 120 hours being a single mom, 10 hours cleaning a house that the kids ultimately destroy, and 8 hours stuck in traffic going to and from work. We have earned this relaxation and must enjoy to the fullest!

POP! Another bottle gets opened. Why cut us short? After we rummage through the pantry, we find some girl scout cookies which would go great with this wine and provide the subsistence to our body, so we don’t wake up hungover. There is so much sugar in wine, which makes it taste so good, there is always a hangover. Something about the sweetness and alcohol that just causes this dreaded consequence to brighten our Saturday morning. Cookies while drinking are free calories, or they should be. We would have to remember how many we ate but if we completely devour the box and then put it in the trash, were they consumed without evidence? Lounging on the couch, we are still smelling the burnt food in the air, the windows are still open, but will that smell ever leave? It’s like the decomposing corpse smell that we’ve only heard about it in our favorite crime shows. It just lingers.

Since we have started thinking about our odd obsession with death and crime shows, we turn on the TV and put on the latest scary movie. Not just any scary movie though. We need to choose one that is gory, suspenseful, thrilling but not jumping out at us scary. We don’t need to spill our wine now do we. We decide on an older suspenseful movie, Bone Collector, which is quite the classic. Even though we know every part of the movie and who the killer is, we still enjoy the deep plot and amazing detective work by none other than Angelina and Denzel. Years before they were established as the actors they are today, we can reminisce. 

The wine starts to work its magic again, but the burned food smell is still in our nose. Will it ever go away? Do we just need to burn down the house and start new tomorrow? No, that is not a great decision. Let us just put our movie on and drink our wine and enjoy the predictable thriller. Maybe we can watch Saw next? That movie always made us squirm. Goodness that’s an oldie but it’s a good one. Why else would there be like 6 sequels? No, the Fast and Furious franchise does not count! We can only watch people drive fast cars so many times before it gets annoying, to say the least.

Saturday we will wake up with a pep in our step and a loud bang in our head but we’ll get things done. We need to be productive on the mom-less day. Or not? Is it even necessary? Who would ever know if we weren’t?  Perhaps we will take all the expectations and must-dos off the table and let the day take control.

Pamela Fitch