It feel like writing.

  "Take--a--pen, and write out your thoughts."

  "Take--a--stick, and write out--your thoughts."

  "Write it, write it!" 

  "How will you be the best,when you don't--write it."

  It wasn't always like this, I didn't always hear voices, I wasn't always a madman. All my dreams, all my hope, gone! Now all I hear are these cursed voices. They drive me mad! Maybe she was right, maybe I should have taken it easy when I could.

  Sarah--Sarah oh I miss you. 

  My name is  Adam, and I am a writer, or at least, I think I am. Six months ago I married the girl of my dream-- oh, how happy I was.

***

  A month after we got married, I lost my job because my company went bankrupt. For the first two weeks, Sarah did her best taking care of me since I felt depressed because I lost my dream job. 

I couldn't bear watching her work so hard, while I did nothing but feel depressed. So one day I decided to try something new, something I never thought I would have ever done.

  "Hey!" 

  "Hey." I said to her with a smile.

  "How was your night love?" She asked.

  "Uhh, it was okay---I loved it, thanks to you." I smiled. 

  "Okay--" she said as she opened the fridge, "ughh--"

  "What's the matter?" I asked.

  "No milk, love---ughh-- I totally forgot." She jammed   the fridge door. "What are you doing?"

  I turned away from my computer screen. "I'm watching a video." 

  "Really?" she said walking toward me, "what video?" by this time she sat next to me.

  "I'm gonna be a writer." I said with my eyes fixed on hers. Her green eyes were always mesmerizing, especially at night when we made love. 

  She raised her eyebrows. "Oh! Really?!" 

  "Yes love." A side grin made its way to my face, she was smiling too. She brought her lips close to mine and kissed me slowly. 

  "Writers are hot," she whispered in my ears, "and so am I down here." She grabbed my hand and put it in between her thighs.

  "Did you just swallow Adam?" 

  "Yeah, yeah I did fucking swallow babe."

  She smiled. "I have thirty minutes before I leave for work. What do you think we should do?"

  Immediately, I put my laptop aside and started to kiss her. "You're so hot Adam." She said laughing through the kisses. 

After making love for 40 minutes, she left for work, and I was home alone again.

  I spent three weeks learning how to write and be a writer. Sarah was very happy and even bought books for me to read on writing tips. She loved me so much.

  Finally I was sitting in the space I made in the sitting room, for my writer's corner. 'It feels like writing' the name of my book.

  I became attached to the work, I was on the computer the moment my wife stepped out of the house to the moment she got back. I didn't bother eating, I didn't rest, I just wanted to write.

  "Hey hon." Sarah said when she got back from work one day. I was asleep on the work table.

  "Adam!" She said tapping me.

  "Hmmn -- hmm?"

  "Wake up!"

  "Sarah? You're back?"

  "Yeah-- I am. Adam, you've not had sleep since you started this book."

  "I must finish."

  She sighed. "You need rest as well." She assisted me in getting up from the chair, and walked me into the room. "I love you baby, and you're going to be a good writer I know, but you need rest." She said.

When I woke up it was six in the evening.

  "Where are you going?" She asked.

  "I'm going to write." I said.

  "What?! No no no babe. Have you had anything to eat?"

  She stood up from the sofa in the sitting room and ushered me to the kitchen and made dinner for me to eat. 

  "After this, I want you to rest."

  "Again?"

  "Yes! It's for your own good."

  "But--" I tried to protest but she still refused.

  Then the voices came and started to speak to me that night.

  "Adam, Adam."

  I opened my eyes and turned to face Sarah. I found out she was still asleep. I turned again to face my former position.

  "Adam."

  "Adam, get up-- get up!"

  I opened my eyes immediately. "Who's there?" I whispered. 

  "Us, it is us."

  "We are the intellect, why do you lay and waste us?"

  "Waste us?" I asked.

  "Adam, who are you speaking to?" Sarah asked as she sat up, rubbing her eyes.

  "No one babe, I was--probably sleep-talking."

  "Okay." She gave me a kiss on my cheeks and said: "Goodnight."

  I spent days, weeks, just sitting in my writer's corner, writing a story I didn't even know the beginning, nor the end. I tried to hide the fact that I didn't eat for weeks from my wife. Everynight I'd wake to write my story. Soon I lost my morals to do anything, and everything except write my story. 'It feels like writing' by Adam Quinn. That I was all I saw.

  "You need to stop this madness Adam!" Sarah protested one day. 

  "Honey, I swear once I'm through with this story, we'll have all the time in the world to spend together." 

  "Look at you Adam," she said with tears in her eyes, "you look so wretched and--and--" she couldn't speak anymore as she was overwhelmed with tears.

  "You haven't touched me since you started writing. I want you to look for a proper job Adam." She said finally and walked out on me.

  "Leave her! She doesn't know the intellect, she doesn't know the passion of a writer." The voices said in my head.

  "What are you doing standing? Write---"

  "Baby, I want you." Sarah said to me one night.

  "Baby? Adam!" I didn't respond. 

  "Babe." She whispered into my ears.

  "Yeah?" I finally answered.

  "Let's make love." She said.

  "Okay." 

  She laid over me and began to kiss me.

  "No no no no." I said turning my face away.

  "What happened?" She asked.

  "Nothing. I---I just don't want to do anything this night."

  She opened her mouth in awe. "Really!"

  "Yes." I said pushing her over on the bed, then got out of bed. "I'm going to write."

  I knew what I was doing was not right, I loved her so much, but I didn't understand why I kept treating her like that, was my book worth my marriage.

  "It's worth even your life." The voices would say over and over again. 

  I knew it was only a matter of time before Sarah wouldn't take it anymore. She endured a lot, I wished she left sooner or she understood how important my story was, all of a sudden.

  "...It's either I, or your story." She said standing in front of me with her bag.

  "Sarah...don't."

  "Adam - decided. Your book, or us."

  "Us, and you know it."

  "Fine, then quit that shit now---please."

  "..."

  "Say something Adam."

  "I knew you'd choose that shit over us. Your story. Don't come looking for me."

  I never did set my eyes on her since that day she left.

  "Take--a--pen, and write out your thoughts."

  "Take--a--stick, and write out--your thoughts."

  "Write it, write it!" 

  "How will you be the best,when you don't--write it."

  It wasn't always like this, I didn't always hear voices, I wasn't always a madman.

  "Take--a--knife, and write out your thoughts."

  A knife and write on my skin. After all, I lost it all already. Death--death is my only wish.

  "Take--a---knife, and write out your thoughts."

  As life draws out of me, I leave a message for you on my flesh my love. 

  "I love you - Sarah. I guess I didn't know until you left. It feels like writing, this-- is my---st--sto--"