Did you do it?

“Run faster “,”Run faster for godsake".

“Oh no he is coming ,he...is coming" .Stumbling upon the street I knew in my heart I was gonna die. I couldn't think or breathe. My heart was already giving up and so was my mind.

“Please don't kill me, I re..quest you...plz...don't “.My breathe became shorter and shorter with each passing second .He took out the gun and placed it on my forehead. The only thing I was ever good at my entire life was to let go and so I did the same. My consciousness left my side .The next thing that I realized doing was staring at my fan which was so sluggish that sometimes I used to be quite jealous of it.”Uff...another dream”. I have been quite a dreamer, I would say (definitely in the literal sense).  I tilted my head to my left without disturbing my posture and with a side glance noticed the glass empty. I was disappointed .Actually I had been disappointed with everything ,well not everything, food makes me happy .No actually everything is ..”.leave it"- my inner voice said.It has been quite active and it is what makes me help dodge such questions.

It was time. I snubbed the clock, fidgeted out of my bed .let me tell you it was a Hercules task for me to come out of bed so early as I am a human sloth. Usually I prefer coffee in the morning but I guess today I am running short of it...which I always do .”Pchhhhhh" I said .It was quite longer in my head.To get this blow of disappointment again I scrutinised my refrigerator and I found an empty can of milk and I don't know ...” maybe I'll go out for a walk" was my next thought.

The next thing I was doing was riding my bike .It felt fresh. It had been a week since I had got out.Public attention was something I wasn't quite fond .But i still thought it would be refreshing to sit in the park for a while so I drove towards the nearest park and the next thing I remember is that I was in a street which was quite unusually calm. Yes ,I tend to change my mind.Change is the only constant ,I believe “haaa”, I laughed aloud.” Why are tge streets so empty and silent ?” ,asking myself, I took a U turn .No sooner did I turn my bike ,a car came racing towards me.I managed to dodge it but fell on the road. He drove past me “Bastard” was the first word that came to my mind .Seeing me on the road with those blood patches on my knee ,a middle aged lady came to my rescue. Those patches were as small as a scruple but she saw it as some cascade of blood. This is how I happened to meet Ms.Camarie .She took me to her place and applied some antiseptic. All through the procedure she kept taking .

“ What's your name?”

“Petrovia...no,Samantha “

“It's a bit confusing my dear.You must know at my age it’s a task of great strength to remember two names,hahaha".

“ Her laugh is so annoying. She is too cringy"-(I said to myself)

“I should be going “ 

“ No, my child ,sit have coffee with me.”

Again my anger surged up but this time I controlled it.I told her ,I had to leave but she insisted so I stayed for a while.

“She speaks a lot,whak whakkkk" (.my inner thoughts)

“ Do you take sugar" 

I was busy staring at the hanging paintings and wall pictures. 

“She was my daughter “ 

“ W...as?”

“ She died a few years back.She had cancer"

“ Oh" -I said.

“ And that m..a” – I asked .

My thoughts reminded me what a blunder I was going to do.(“Shut up” was my inner voice)

“ That's my husband .We are getting divorced" .

“ Oh" was what I said. I drank the coffee in a sip and rushed out.

I took my bike and drove back to my apartment. There I lay ,all day long staring at the ceiling thinking about Ms. Camarie. She is a wonderful woman .She is the epitome of perfection. She has got this completely ethereal smile,deep glowing eyes,radiant skin and a perfect physique.” What am I thinking" (my inner voice spoke) I don't know why I liked this lady .I never liked people but ...” her daughter was cute" .

Next day involuntarily, I drove to her house .It seemed automatic as if I had no control over me. I went to apologize for yesterday but as I went to ring the door bell I heard a loud thud.” Please don't hit me" 

“ Why don't you leave me bitch .I want freedom from you.” Another loud thud and then there were cries ,loud shrill cries. 

“Mom what are you doing here.Dad please don't...What are you do..ing

Dad...please. Mom" .Everything turned smudgy. Last thing I remember was falling on the floor. The next thing ,I remember was staring at the ceiling but it wasn't mine.

“ Here is some soup my dear"

With blue and red lines carved on her body mad face she smiled. It was hard to see her. I lowered my eyes

“ I'll..go" 

“No, Samantha ,you will stay here for a while.Tell me.your parent's number?”

“ Who. Was that m..a.n?”

“Who,Arthur...oh , he is my husband”

I sipped the soup .It was hot by those marks on her body numbed my senses.

“ I am alone.I.lost my daughter and now my husband.I don't want to divorce him. He wants it.He comes occasionally and beats me up, threatens to kill me if I don't give him divorce.You know she was of your age .She had beautiful blue eyes. She talked a lot.....J loved her..it's just....”

She cried again.Her pain fell like numbness on my already numb senses.I didn't know how to console her.” I am alone too.My father died and my mother abandoned me.after it.She cried hard at times....with those blue marks ,it was more painful. She ....w..Can I have water?”

It felt my senses had gained consciousness. I didn't know how to comfort her and so I blurted out all this.” Why am I stupid” (I thought to myself).

The bell rang.

She went out to see and there was a loud thud again.

“ Sign these papers and get done with it"

“ You are drunk, we’ll talk about this"

I was eavesdropping though the sound was crystal clear .I went out of the room. He was a pretty old drunkard man .

“ Who is this ...another bitch ,haha.Now are you gonna kill her too like you swallowed my daughter.Run for your life .Hahaah"

That laughter made me feel sick.” Dad you again .No you ....leave Mom .Mom don't leave me". 

“ Ha Ha. Is she insane.What the hell. Is she doing .And you sign the papers right away .I'll kill you otherwise.Do it .Do it now"

“Ok, but list....” ( slaps, pushes her away)

“ You won't listen to nice.I’ll.make you learn in.my way now” 

Everything turned smudgy again. I saw him unzip his pants and force himself upon Ms Camarie. 

“ You're gonna look and see all this.I am fine with it.Hahaah"

She was crying in.pain.

“ Mom what are you doing here.” 

“ Why did you do it ,why, you ruined everything “(my mother spoke to me)

“ No maa...maa where are you ..maa” 

“ ..plz leave me" .These cries made me breathless. I was lost. I knew nothing.Everthying seemed falling apart. I shouted in despair but I couldn't hear myself. My vision soon left my side and my senses turned numb.

When I got up I saw Ms.Camarie sitting in the corner crying and sobbing .Seeing me get up she jumped into the corner. ”Plz don't kill me".

“ Why will I...”( I noticed Arthur's body lying in a pool of blood)

There came in two burly men with a police batch hanging onto their grey suits. 

"Come with us,”.

They grabbed me by my arm and handcuffed me. “You know what you did.” But I had no idea.

We moved past Arthur's body and they took me to the police station and was thrown into a cell. Without any alibi and all evidences against me ,I was found guilty by the court .I was soon to be shifted to an asylum under an acute dissociative identity disorder .I walked past all this in mute stupor. I couldn’t feel anything. Then I saw Ms.Camarie and shouted ...

“ Plz help me .I didn't do it"

“ You are not well my child .You’ll be fine in the asylum”

Before leaving she gave me a hug and whispered in my ears “ Did you do it".

She gave a chuckle and turned around.

And all I could do again was to let her go.

By- 

Simran Sharma.