The Light Creeps In

Darkness. Brutal darkness. That’s all Jessica has seen for some time. 

It’s not just her mood that is dark. It’s this place. This room where she lives. Alone. In silence. How can she get out? She must get out! 

It’s been this way since Simon disappeared. He said “I’ll be right back.” It’s been months and he hasn’t returned.

Was he real? Or did Jessica just imagine him? She can still feel the touch of his skin on hers, the press of his lips to her mouth. Where is he now? She wonders.

He was supposed to be keeping an eye on her, making sure that she didn’t do anything that could "harm the group.” It turned into so much more. It was everything to Jessica. And now it is nothing.

She’s alone again in this dark room. Her room.

The Bishop brings her food and water. He cleans up after her. “Are you ready to repent?” He asks.

Jessica doesn’t answer. She’s done answering. She did what she did because she had to. To hell with what the group thinks! The others, the ones who were lost, deserved their fate. It wasn’t Jessica’s fault.

The Bishop frowns. She can’t see him, but she can feel his presence. He disgusts her. He places his hands on both sides of her face and smooths back her hair. He kisses her forehead and then leaves. A shiver goes through Jessica’s body.

She thinks about her plan. Will it work? She doesn’t know, but she has to try. 

“Simon? Where are you?” She asks out loud into the darkness. She then folds her head into her hands and allows herself to cry. Always silent. She doesn’t want the others to hear her. 

————

She dreams of him. Not Simon, but the Bishop. She’s in a boat, making her way to the other side. She looks back and sees his pale face in the moonlight. Her feet are wet and the boat is filling with water. As the boat sinks, a smirk spreads across the Bishop's face. It sends chills through her. She attempts to jump out of the boat, but she’s stuck. She’s going to drown.

She sees the Bishop’s mouth form the word before the boat goes under. “Repent.”

————

Silence. 

Jessica thinks of her plan, of what she must do.

Where is Simon? 

She listens for him hoping to hear him among the group. She doesn’t.

It’s dark. So dark. 

She’s lost track of time. She no longer knows if it’s daytime or nighttime. One minute stretches into the next. She often hears talking, but can’t make out the words. Sometimes she hears laughter and sometimes fighting. They hate her. She knows this.

She thinks she hears her Mother outside the door whispering “Repent. Repent. Repent.” But, that’s not possible. Her Mother is gone. 

Jessica waits for the Bishop. He will come again. He always does. 

But instead of the Bishop, it is her friend Molly that comes next. 

“Jessica?” Molly whispers peering into the room. She is holding a lantern and her hand is trembling lightly. 

Jessica takes in her friend's appearance. Her brown hair has been cut down close to her scalp. Her freckles are alight in the lantern's glow. She sees Molly taking her in as well and knows she must looks fragile and unkempt. She wonders what she must smell like? She can’t remember the last time she showered. 

“Oh, Jessica!” Molly whispers again. Jessica sees tears form at the corners of Molly’s eyes.

“Have you come to let me out?” Jessica asks quietly.

“No, I’ve come to say goodbye.” Molly replies meekly, avoiding eye contact with her. “We are all leaving tomorrow. All of us who are left that is.” 

“Where’s Simon?” Jessica manages to get out.

Molly doesn’t respond at first. She stares at Jessica for a long moment before saying; “I forgive you.” Then she turns around to leave.

Jessica wants to crawl after Molly. She wants to beg and plead for Molly to take her with her. She wants to leave this room with her friend, but she knows this isn’t possible so instead she asks “Will you leave the door unlocked?"

Molly doesn’t answer. She takes one last look back at her and steps the rest of the way out of the door and closes it tightly behind her. 

————

Jessica isn’t sure of how much time has passed when she finally decides to check the door. She doesn’t remember hearing the click of the lock when Molly left.

She feels her way around the room until she finds the doorknob. She twists. It’s unlocked. She feels her heart leap into her chest and slowly opens the door.

The hallway outside her room is dark except for a lantern halfway down the hallway.

Molly must have left it for me. She thinks.

She creeps down the hall and picks it up, feeling dizzy from the exertion. She walks towards Simon’s room at the end of the hall. His door is open a crack, his own lantern creating a glow. 

Jessica pauses by the door for a moment. She can hear Simon’s muffled moans. She peers into his room. He is facing away from the door. A woman is straddling him and they are entwined in a deep kiss. She has long, raven hair which trickles down her back.

Jessica freezes. No. She thinks. 

She backs away from the room. Tears start to burn in her eyes.

Darkness. More darkness. 

She walks in a state of disorientation toward the stairs and then makes her way towards the front door. She hears people in the kitchen and pauses. It's Molly, the Bishop and several others.

Jessica risks going past the kitchen to get to the door. She catches Molly’s gaze on the way by. It’s gentle and encouraging. She is the only one who seems to notice her. The lantern light from the kitchen makes Molly look almost angelic.

I will remember her this way.

Jessica's heart aches. She mouths “Good bye.”

She opens the front door quietly and takes in the fresh air, the glorious feeling of being outdoors again. It’s breathtaking!

It’s nighttime and the moon is glowing above, the sky is filled with stars. An excitement fills Jessica's body. She got away!

But, she’s been betrayed. Simon has betrayed her.

She feels a simmering anger and notices that she is still holding the lantern. There are two chairs on the front porch. She remembers sitting in one of them last summer while she gossiped with Molly. That was before she did what she did, before they left her in the dark room.

The dark. They ALL left her locked in the dark.

Jessica places the lantern down gently on the porch. She pulls one chair to the front door and places it under the door knob. She wiggles it to make sure it is firmly holding the door in place. Then she drags the other chair around to the back door and does the same. She pauses for a moment before returning to the front of the house again.

When she's back at the entrance, she kicks the lantern over. It quickly ignites a group of plants by the door.

The Bishop loved those plants.

She smirks. She watches as the embers start to spark towards the house. When some shingles finally ignite, relief fills Jessica.

It's beautiful. She thinks.

She heads towards the boat.

Once she is on the boat, she watches as the fire grows in the distance. It's creeping further into the house, creating a magnificent glow in the sky. She doesn't see anyone get out, but it doesn't really matter. She did what she had to do.

And soon there will be daylight, She thinks. And this nightmare will be over.

She uses the boat's oars to push backwards away from the dock. As she's rowing she thinks she catches the Bishop's face in the moon. "Repent."

She won’t though. 

They deserved their fate and she deserves hers.