The Visitor

“Hey you got her really fast.”

“Yeah, I was close by.”

“Lucky me. I guess. I needed someone to talk to before I lost my mind.”

“You have been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulder’s lately.”

“That’s the understatement of the century. Feels like everything is falling apart all at one time. Mom’s health. Dad’s death. Chrissy’s pregnancy. Work. My head just won’t shut up.”

“I know that is why I am here.”

“Yeah, seriously, thank you. You are really the only one that I can talk to.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because I really haven’t told you everything.”

“Right. I know.”

“Because you’re a what? Physic now? Working for the physic network or something?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then how?”

“Because this is why I came. It is the only reason I am here.”

“Wait. Hold up. What are you talking about? The only reason? You live right around the corner.”

“No, I don’t.”

“What? Wait?”

“I am not from here. I am…not like you. I am not here like you.”

“Okay, I don’t know what in the hell you are talking about. You have officially lost me. Not from here? How? Are you from Mars? A martian or something?”

“No, I am not a martian. I am not real though. Not in the way you think I am.”

“Yeah right. That makes total sense. NOT. Not something that you would normally say to a friend who just said that they are potentially losing what little mind they have left.”

“I’m serious. I am not a person from this world. I am from somewhere else. A different plane. The spirit world you might call it.”

“Alright then. Do you have a high fever making you delirious? Did you hit your head on the way over here? Because you sound insane right about now.”

“I expected this reaction. It’s fine. But listen. You remember the car accident when you were twelve?”

“Don’t..Why are you bringing that up now?”

“You almost died. But you didn’t because I found you. I kept you calm until help came.”

“Stop. That was a dream. A hallucination. The paramedics said--”

“They said that you were talking to someone who was not there. They said you kept asking them not to hurt me.”

“How did you know that?”

“Because it was me. That was the first time I came through.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you are a ghost? A guardian angel? Some creepy spirit?”

“Call it whatever you want. Whatever makes you understand. I don’t have wings or anything but I am assigned to people sometimes. People who are stuck.”

“And now I am stuck?”

“Completely. You have been standing at the edge for a long time now.”

“The edge of what?”

“Of giving up.”

“Okay this is getting creepy. Stop acting like you know everything.”

“I don’t know everything. I only know you. It is the reason I exist here.”

“Here meaning what? A body? A soul? A fake friend here to keep me company?”

“Pretty much.”

“But, you have been my friend. Well, I think that you have been my friend, but now I don’t know. We met in college and you have an apartment and a job.”

“All of that was made up for you. Background details without breaking the rules. You never visited my place have you?”

“No, you always came here to my place or my job.”

“Because there is nothing to see.”

“This is..OMG. It is totally…I don’t know what to call it. But you are saying that none of it is real. None of it?”

“It is real to you. That is all that matters.”

“Wow. Thanks for the existential crisis.”

“I am not here to mess with your head. I am here because you’re drowning. You have been pretending to be fine for so long that you don’t even realize that you are not fine.”

“So what? Are you supposed to swoop in to give me some kind of cosmic pep talk and than what? Disappear?”

“If that is what you need to hear. Then yes.”

“That’s not fair. You just don’t get to leave. You’re my best friend.”

“I know. And I hate that this will hurt you. But I was never supposed to stay forever.”

“So why come at all?”

“Because you would not have made it otherwise without me.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true. You think that you have been holding yourself together alone but you really haven’t. I have been here to keep you standing. To make sure that you did not go too far into the darkness.”

“After that you were just going to walk away? Mission accomplished for you and you can go back to wherever you came from?”

“No. Not until you believe that you can stand without me.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“Then I stay until you can. But you can. You just don’t believe it yet.”

“Okay, this is not making any sense. You talk to me like you know me better than I know myself.”

“I do. I was there for you every night that you had the nightmares nobody knows about. I was there the next morning when you did not want to get out of bed but you did anyway. You never saw me but I was always there.”

“I used to think that someone was there. Something I couldn’t see and I would talk to myself.”

“You were talking to me.”

“Holy flames of hell! You are serious! You actually believe this.”

“I don’t believe it. I know it.”

“Okay, prove that you know it. Tell me something that nobody else would know.”

“You keep snacks in the bathroom cabinet and under the sink behind the cleaning supplies you keep the depression medicine that the doctor prescribed to you six months ago so that your mom won’t find it when she comes to visit. The snacks you hide from your nephews.”

“Stop!”

“You took a pill three nights ago.”

“Stop!”

“And you sat in the shower and cried for ten minutes because you had to take it.”

“Please stop!”

“That is why I am still here.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“Because if you’re right, you are real, or not real whatever that means. I don’t know anymore. I guess I must be so pathetic that I need an imaginary friend just to keep me alive.”

“No. It means that you matter.”

“ That’s what everyone says all the time.”

“Maybe. But that does not mean it is not true.”

“So now what? You give me a pep talk about rainbows and hope and do you evaporate and go back to the spirit world or wherever you came from?”

“Nope. No prep talk. Just the truth. It won’t always feel this way. But you will have to find someone else to help you other than me. A real someone. Not me anymore.”

“I don’t like people.”

“Doesn’t matter. Make a friend. Find a therapist. Tell your mother. Tell your sister. Tell somebody.”

“And you leave after that?”

“Yes. I leave when you don’t need me anymore.”

“That sucks.”

“I am not supposed to stay forever. I am a bridge not a home.”

“Do you always have to talk in weird poetic riddles like that?”

“Pretty much.”

“Great, my imaginary friend, or spirit leader, comic guide wannabe philosopher. “

“You’ll miss me when I am gone.”

“Already do.”

“I haven’t gone yet.”

“Will I remember you?”

“Like a dream you almost hold onto that gets fuzzy around the edges. But the way I made you feel will always stay.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I know. But, you will be okay.”

“Swear?”

“Swear.”

“Can you just stay until I fall asleep tonight?”

“As long as you need.”

“Thanks.”

“Always.”