SPIN SPIN SPIN

Just one more dollar. Just put the dollar in the machine and press the button. I'll get it this time. OK, this next dollar will do it. This is the one. Another. Another. 

The slot machine flashes, it sings, it pulls my face closer to the screen. The three digital reels spin and stop, with BAR, cherry, 7, WILD, horseshoe, bell, grapes, club, diamond. All pretty and sweet but nothing on the payline. I slip another dollar in the slot and press the big orange button. My last dollar.

The reels spin and spin and the lights around the machine glow bright. Across the center payline, BAR BAR BAR. $30! The machine rings like a bell and all the colors of the rainbow wash over me in the glow. I need to cash in my winnings so I can keep this hot streak going. I press the CASH OUT button and wait for my ticket to be printed. I'll never forget when my dad snook me into the casino. Seeing him hit the 3 cherries and watching all those quarters fall and tinkle softly in the coin hopper was something I will never forget.

A paper ticket being printed out doesn't have the same effect as hearing and watching all those silver coins fall, but sometimes there's a little warmth on the ticket and that warmth means money. I'm waiting for it but my ticket still hasn't come out. I press the button again and the screen on the machine goes black and all the lights turn off.

"Hey! HEY!" I slap the CASH OUT button, I slap the SPIN button, nothing. Nothing's happening. I want my money. I won it. All I see is my reflection in the black screen.

"Excuse me, sir, is there a problem," asks a floor man. 

"Yes," I say, "I won and this machine didn't pay me."

"I'm sorry, sir. Please wait a minute before I can pull a technician over here and take care of that."

"Thank you. Please hurry." 

The man left and I'm here tapping my foot. I look around the carousel of slot machines and see all these other people playing the slots. Do they know I just won $30? I'm not gonna share it with any of them. Not even if they asked me nicely. It's a tough racket, the slots. You keep spinning till you're spun out. My dad got spun out. But he made mistakes. I know what I'm doing.

It's been ten minutes now and that floor man hasn't been back. And I don't see any technicians. A woman down the carousel just hit something. She's whooping and hollering and here I am, empty handed. Don't have a dollar to eat later. 

I look at my machine and it's me looking back at me. It's my perfect reflection, just darker. Then my darker shade gets out of his chair and leans into the screen. He's tapping on it. He's gesturing me to come closer. It's me, my perfect reflection, behind a dark glass, telling me to come closer. 

I lean in and he cups his hand to whisper. I press my ear against the glass and he whispers through the screen. His voice is my voice and it's faint, but it hits right in my ear like an ice pick.

"You lost."

I jerk back from the machine and before I can catch my dark reflection again the machine lights back up. The CASH OUT button is flashing and my $30 is still credited to me on screen. For the first time in my life I hesitate to push that button. But I don't have anything without that ticket, so I press it and out it comes. Now here comes the floor man and a man with a tool belt.

"Has the machine just come on?"

"Yes."

"Did you get your credit?"

"Yes." I hold up my ticket.

"Excellent. Well if you don't mind, sir, we'd like to look at this machine for a few minutes. To make sure there's nothing wrong with it."

"Is there something wrong with it?"

"Probably not. Sometimes they just get tired. Don't we all?"

I fake a laugh and say, "I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Seems to be fine now. I'd like to keep playing."

"It'll only be for a few minutes. By the time you cash out we'll probably be done."

"OK, but don't let anyone take my seat."

I run from the carousel all the way to the front where the pay window is. There's a line. I look back to the carousel but I can't see it. I can't let anyone else get on that machine.

"You lost," it rang again in my head. No, I didn't lose. Right here. This ticket says I didn't lose. See? The ticket is still warm. Right there. It says $30. It says...the ticket is blank. Nothing. There's nothing on the ticket. It's still warm but there's nothing printed on it. I swear it said $30. 

Someone behind me says, "Hey, bud, move up." I look up and see the line has cleared.

I get to the pay window and the woman says, "Ticket please."

"I...I have a problem."

"What's your problem, sir?"

"See, I just won $30 off that machine back there," I point in the general direction of the carousel, still unable to see it. "And my ticket said $30 but now it...it doesn't say anything."

"Sir, I can't cash you out without a ticket. Come back when you have something. NEXT!"

"You don't understand, I won $30."

"Sorry, sir. NEXT!"

"Hey, pal, get moving," says the guy behind me.

I run over to the carousel to talk to the floor man. He knows I won $30. I'll just show him my ticket. But he's not there. The technician isn't there either. There's some old lady in my chair.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but that's my seat, I was playing this machine."

"Well, you're not playing it now. Now I just put in a dollar, so let me play."

I notice a floor man looking at me, not the one from before. I decide to just walk away. I know this old bat will get tired or lose all her money. She doesn't know how to play the machine. That's my machine. And it owes me.

I need to talk to the floor man from before. Only he can back me up for the $30. I walk up to the other floor man and ask if he's seen his associate. I give a good description of the guy but he tells me he doesn't know anyone like that. 

"He was just here! With a technician. My machine is over there," and I look back and point and I see that old woman playing my machine just hit 3 cherries across the payline. That's $100. That's my $100. She thinks she's getting my money? Wrong.

I run over to her just as the ticket comes out of the machine and I push her hand away and rip the ticket out of the slot, just one large chunk of the whole. It's burning hot in my hand and she screams, "Stop! Stop! He's stealing!"

"This is mine! You stole it!"

The floor man I just spoke to is now approaching us and he's talking into a radio. I run off towards the pay window. There's no line now, so I hit the counter and slap the ticket down in front of the woman who sent me away last time. "I'll take a $100 bill, please." She gives me a weird look and then looks over my shoulder. I follow her gaze and see three floor men in matching red coats coming towards me. I try to run to the door but one of them catches me in a strong grip. 

"No! I want my money!" They push and pull me along the wall and through a door. Down a hallway and through another door into a small room with a table, one chair, and a wide mirror on the wall. Probably two-way glass for someone on the other side to watch. They push me down into the chair and start talking tough.

I tell them that I won and the machine went dark and my ticket went blank and the woman stole my seat and the floor man would back me up and I just wanted my money so I could keep playing. They tell me to sit still and keep quiet and that they'll be back to discuss this some more.

I've been sitting at the table for almost half an hour now and haven't seen or heard anyone since they left. I'm tapping my feet, I'm shaking my legs, I'm wringing my hands. All I want to do is to get back to the machine and play. What's wrong with that? Isn't that what they want? It's what I want.

I turn around in my chair and look back at the two-way mirror behind me. What I saw made me fall out of my chair; it's my perfect reflection, already standing up. This time he isn't dark but brightly lit, under the same lights I am. He's smiling at me. In his hand he has a full sack of cash with a dollar sign on it. 

"You lost," he says again. 

I turn away and make for the door and fumble at the door knob and get the door open. I look around and see no one. I make my way back up the hall and open the door back to the casino floor. I don't see anyone. No players, no dealers, no floor men, no technicians. Dice lie still, cards lie stacked. There's no noise. 

But then there is noise, coming from the carousel. There's only one machine that's lit up. The rest are all dark and silent like tombstones. I know what machine it is. It's waiting for me. I get to my machine and I reach into my pocket not knowing what I'll find. I find a crisp one dollar bill, all serial numbers reading 0. Instead of George Washington, it's my face on the bill.

I feed the bill into the machine cautiously like I'm feeding a wild animal. The SPIN button flashes so brightly I almost can't look at it. I give it a hard firm press and the reels start spinning. Spinning, spinning, spinning. Was it eternity? Was it an instant? The first reel sets. Skulls. The second reel sets. Spiders. The third reel sets. Fire. 

The machine whirls and purrs and screams and glows and glitters and blazes. Loud bells peal out and the foundation under my feet begins to shake. Machines tumble over. Cards slice through the air. Dice become bullets firing in all directions. I sit still in front of my machine as the air grows hot and everything around me is destroyed. In the dark I am bathed in colorful light and soothed by sweet tones. The CASH OUT button is burning and smoking. I press it. I won.