When a shark bites

             With a little bit of bad luck, unfortunate Mackie kickstarted the worst events of his life thus far. Yes, I know you’ll argue that the end of the world as we knew it would rank much higher, but he wasn’t even two years old when that happened; you can hardly hold the apocalypse against a baby.

But I digress. Despite our boy being a professional, despite being so cautious, he hadn’t predicted that a paladin was privy to his plan. Getting caught red handed does throw a bit of a wrench into any plan no matter how well conceived or executed. The place had been scoped out, lockroom located, and distraction created so that the shopkeeper’s eyes would be elsewhere when Mack grabbed the coins. Don’t get it wrong, this is no common thief at work here; Mack has honed an entire technique of popping locks with his trusty jackknife so unobtrusively that no one would even be able to tell it had been cracked without studying closely, and he knows to only skim a small enough amount that the inattentive vendor wouldn’t notice. Hell, the man even opened the lockroom with his hands behind his back to conceal his knife and pretend like he was just browsing the wares.

However, it’s hard to hide anything from the eyes of a paladin (especially when that “anything” involves quickly crouching down to snatch coin after knocking down a display to keep a shopkeeper occupied). To be fair to good ol’ Mackie, how was he to know about those keen, law-upholding eyes? After all, Aurelia’s a rarity among the paladin ranks as she never shows her armour despite her rank, shying away from the bright enamels or the shining metals of the other paladins. Mack could certainly identify a paladin – anyone in the mall could – but not this one so easily, she’s just a woman dressed in black. That is, of course, until it is time again for her sworn duty to be fulfilled. Times like now…

‘Stop’, she bellowed, ‘You violated the law!’

Well, Mack’s screwed. Our boy has only one option now: cut losses and run. And that has to be a split-second decision because just as quickly comes the ringing sound of Aurelia’s well-hidden sword being drawn as she breaks full tilt into a righteous sprint. No amount of darkening armour plates or hiding them under clothes will conceal their distinctive clank – a sound which makes it oh so clear to Mackie that he now undoubtedly has a paladin on his tail. So, he bolts. And she follows. The chase begins.

Mack has two precious leads here: 1, he has a head start over Aurelia as she has to first close the gap to the shop before she can begin chasing him, and, 2, his 20+ years spent living in the mall has paid him dividends because his boyhood exploring seamlessly morphed into him becoming a rogue so he knows nearly every shortcut, nook, and cranny in the entire place.  He darted left at the corner ahead, figuring that the residential district will be his best hope to lose this heat. It’s a risky move for sure considering how likely more paladins will be on that route, but it’s easier to lose them threading between all the houses and blending with the crowds (our boy’s nothing if not a calculated risk-taker). He could hear the clank echo behind him, she’s rounded the corner as well. So, he ducks right into a crowd knowing that the secondary door for Bazaar Bargains is somewhere hidden behind them – he can just cut through the shop and cut out two corners. The shrill screech of Aurelia’s whistle sounded the end of that idea as she alerted the gaggle of citizens of the ongoing chase and beckoned for them to stand aside; Mack’s hidden door was no longer so hidden. It was a change of plans, then: he would bank left around the shops rather than cut through, hopefully he would be around both corners before she was around the first leaving her at a loss whether he went left again or right around to Bargains’ main door. He quickly glanced over his shoulder as he turned right and saw no sign of her. Lucky little Mackie had done it again.

‘He went that way.’ A faint voice further back had snitched on him. That prick.

The clanking came again with seemingly greater fervour and fury. The pounding footsteps were closer now too because Mack had slowed to try and blend back in again with the milling crowds. And then there she was, Mack would swear he could almost see the ceremonial fires of a paladin’s oath in her eyes. To him, they may well have been the fires of his freedom burning. This would take far more excessive manoeuvres than he had hoped. Luckily, the trading district has a mezzanine which overhangs the centre square. Even luckier, the square features elements from when this part of the building used to be a factory ages ago, elements such as steel beams which can theoretically be jumped to and from to quickly get down to the lower level (if you’re brave/stupid enough).

And, in that moment, you could argue that Mack was desperate enough to parkour his way down (but there are also cases for him to be brave or stupid as well). It was a simple enough move; Mack vaulted the railing around the mezzanine, landed upon the first beam, then to a lower one further along, dropped to hang from the beam by his hands, and finally dropped to the ground. Easy.

Unfortunately, while doing all of that, Aurelia carried on along toward the stairs. She blew her whistle continuously as she went, gesturing to anyone on the stair to move, before vaulting over the railing to land on the steps. It must have been terrifying to see, it hardly even broke her stride. So, when Mack dropped to the ground, she was upon him. Look, when I said earlier that our boy was ‘a calculated risk-taker’ I never said that maths was necessarily his strong point. Before he knew it, he was against the wall with the uncomfortable feeling of a gauntlet pressed at the back of his neck.

‘Name.’ There was no question in Aurelia’s voice, she gave no room for anything other than utmost compliance.

‘Go to He-’ The further press of armour against him cut Mack off before he could begin with his usual incompliance. What a pair they make.

‘Name.’

‘Macheath,’ he wheezed, ‘You mind easing off a bit?’

She didn’t move.

‘Kurt Macheath, Block 28.’

Now she eased off. ‘Well, Kurt Macheath, Block 28, I am hereby placing you into the custody of the Order of Paladins for crimes committed against the people. What say you?’

‘Oh? What did I do, in particular?’

Big mistake on Mackie’s part there, she pressed hard on him again. ‘Don’t play dumb with me, rogue, I watched you pilfering the coin reserves of that shop back there.’

‘I’ve got nothing on me. Unless I’m mistaken, it’s theft only if you take. All the coin I have on me is my own. And you can’t prove otherwise.’ I told you, professional.

‘Very well,’ Aurelia conceded, taking her arm off Mack’s back, ‘In that case, Macheath, I am hereby placing you into the custody of the Order of Paladins for damage of property.’ She grabbed his arm. ‘What say you?’

‘Huh?’ Mack struggled against her grip.

‘You popped the lock of that door, Macheath, you had to have done. And that I can prove.’

‘But I took nothing, what difference if I opened a door? Plus, the shopkeep’s a crook, you should be arresting him if you’re so desperate to get someone.’

‘What? Did he beat you in cards or something? You rogues are all the same.’

‘This is why I hate paladins, you never actually know anything that’s going on. The guy who runs that shop decided the traders were charging him too much for stock off their caravans, so he turned to the raiders. He knew that traders were charging more because of the raiders, so he just went to the heart of the problem. That’s how his prices are so low, and that why he is one of the best vendors of contraband – not that I know anything about that, of course – because it all comes from the raiders who just steal it from elsewhere. You holier-than-thou paladins like to call petty theft a “crime against the people”, so what do you call a guy personally funding the raider menace out there beyond the trench line? Or do you just not care because raiders are outside your area of jurisdiction?’

‘If any of this is true, why not simply report it to the paladins?’

‘And get a target on my back from the Rogues’ Guild? I just told you, this guy is one of the top contrabanders, the Guild has a vested interest. Plus, if it gets back to him, he’ll probably just hire a rogue to gut me in my bed or in a barroom brawl or something.’

‘Any and all informers are kept under paladin protection until we can be sure that it’s safe, they would never have been able to reach you. I just wonder if either, A, you’re lying, or, B, reporting to us would just incriminate yourself.’

‘God, are you being intentionally obtuse or are you just naïve? There are paladins on the take.’

‘There’s my answer,’ she snarled, tightening her grip on his arm, ‘you’re lying. Paladins are sworn on their lives to uphold order; how could corruption seep in if lives are on the line?’

‘The threat of death won’t keep everyone pure, it’ll just make them far more thorough in hiding their skeletons.’

Aurelia’s grip loosened; she seemed to mull over his words for some time.

‘Very well, Macheath. In light of all of this, I, as an Esteemed Knight of the Order of Paladins, hereby decree that you will serve as my personal liason to root all corruption among both the Order and the mall in exchange for all punishments previously accrued against you.’