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Crime Drama

4:17 PM, streets

  “Bro, what are we going to do now?” 

  “We’ll take cover for now,”

  “Where?” 

  “I know just the place,”

4:35 PM, at the nearby police station

  “How is he?”

  “Dead?”

  “Time of death?”

  “3:46 PM,”

  “Place of death?”

  “The street across that new building,”

  “Any other information on the victim?”

Two men in blue shirts and black jeans conversed. With a gun on their pockets, a badge on their chest. Yes, as you might have expected they’re cops. Cops discussing someone's death.

  “Sir, we have news!” Another one had entered the room.

  “News? What is it?”

  “H-his house,” he was out of breath due to the consistent running that he had done for quite some time now. 

  “What about his house?”

  “His wife and daughter had been murdered,”

  “What? At the same time?!”

  “That we still don’t know,”

  “Shit,”

  “Do you think that this was done by the same culprit?” The man that he hadn conversed with earlier asked.

  “It could be,”  he paused.

  “No, it has to be,” he changed his mind.

  “What made you think so?”

  “Tell me, what’s the probability of two murders happening at the same time?”

  “You tell me,” his friend asked.

  “Unless you’re in a war then I don’t think so,” 

  “Is that your only proof?”

  “Of course not,”

  “What else then?” 

  “The murder happened at that man’s house, don’t you think that this is too much for a coincidence?” 

  “Y-you sure made a good point there,”

  “You,”

  “Y-yes sir?” 

  “Will you do me a favour?”

  “Of course sir it is my duty after all,”

  “Good,”

5:02 PM, an unknown house

  “Wow, how did you get this house from?”

  “A friend of mine,”

 “F-friend? Are you sure that this is alright?”

  “Of course,”

  “B-but,”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered,”

  “C-covered? How?”

  “A friend of mine, Dustin to be exact, you knew him didn’t you?”

  “That Dustin? The guy that you used to hang out with when you were in highschool?” 

  “Yes, what of it?”

  “Didn’t I tell you that I don’t like him? Not one bit,”

  “Did you?”

  “Yes! I said that!” He slammed the table.

  “What choice do we have then? How many friends do you have now?” KNOCK, KNOCK. 

  “Speak of the devil, it must be him,” the older brother then opened the door for his friend.

  “Hey, how are you doing? Thanks for letting us hide here,”

  “Sure, we’re friends aren’t we?” They hugged each other

  “Ah, you must be Jeff’s little brother” Dustin wanted to hug him. 

  “You again huh?” His little brother slapped Dustin's hand away.

  “You’re a feisty one aren’t you?”

  “H-hey,”

  “Why did you help us? What’s in it for you?”

  “Roberto, you better keep your mouth shut,” he pointed his finger at his brother.

  “Did he say that you were going to have some of our money?”

  “No he did not,” Dustin answered with a smile.

  “Then what?!”

  “God damn it Roberto!” Jeff grabbed his little brother in the collar and pushed him against the wall. 

  “When I tell you to shut up, you better do.”

  “Easy there Jeff, it’s a normal thing that he would have negative thoughts,”

  “I-I’m really sorry, my brother is such an idiot.”

  “It’s fine don’t worry about it, now should we think of a plan for you to escape?”

  “The dogs,” Roberto spoke up. 

  “Dogs? What’s wrong with them?” Dustin asked him.

  “The cops’ dogs, we need to be extremely weary of them.” 

  “You’re right,” Jeff agreed with his little brother.

  “I think I know what to do with them,” Dustin left us for a while to take something out from his kitchen.

  “Listen you,” meanwhile, Jeff started to scold his little brother for his own good.

  “He’s the only hope left for us, you better suck it up,”

  “If anything happens it’s on you then,”

  “I need to use the restroom,” Jeff then left, however he didn’t go to the bathroom. 

  “So, how is it?” He went to the kitchen instead.

  “It’s alright”

  “You think that my brother will buy it?”

  “Don’t worry, he will,” he reassured Jeff.

  “Can I trust you?”

  “Why can’t you?”

  “Jane.”

  “Let’s put the past behind us shall we? We have to look ahead,” Dustin smiled. 

  “I will split the money into two, don’t worry about it.”

  “Don’t worry, I trust you.” 

  “Thanks mate.”

  “No problem.” 

 Jeff and Dustin had returned to the living room, Dustin had suggested that they go to the nearby room to rest. The room had a bunk bed, Jeff slept at the lower compartment while Roberto slept upstairs. 

  “You should be thankful, you hear me?” Jeff warned his little brother.

  “Yeah, I will,” they then head to sleep. It had been about three to four hours since he went to bed, Jeff then woke up and decided to take a leak. As soon as he got out of bed, he could hear a rustling sound through the door. 

  “What the fuck,” he silently muttered. 

  “Stop! What are you doing?!” Jeff shouted.

  “Why are you shouting?” Roberto woke up.

  “Thief!” Jeff dashed up to the thief.

 BANG! 

  “Hey, you alright?” Roberto rushed to aid his brother.

  “Stop right there,” Dustin appeared in front of him with a gun.

  “Damnit, I told you that I had a bad feeling about this,” Roberto muttered.

  “Bad feeling? This was more than a bad feeling.”

  “D-don’t,” Jeff then coughed.

  “You have to be quiet or you’ll die.”

  “What a caring little brother you are, unlike him.”

  “Don’t tell him about it!” He then spilled someblood out of his mouth. 

  “I told you to be quiet didn’t I?” 

  “You better leave him now or the cops will be on your ass.”

  “Shut up! I don’t want your advice!”

  “Really? You don’t want the truth?”

  “Truth? What truth?” 

  “D-don’t,” Jeff said silently.

  “Your brother betrayed you.”

  “M-my brother did?”

  “N-no I d-didn’t.”

  “Yes he did, the deal was that if I let him live I’ll get half of the money you have.”

  “That means,” Roberto’s hand began to shake.

  “Yes,”

  “No! Don’t listen to him!”

  “He intended to leave you behind!”

  “D-did you?”

 Jeff’s body temperature dropped.

  “You better tell the truth before you die, that’s the least that you can do now,” Dustin insulted him. 

  “D-did you?” 

  “S-sorry,” those were his last words. BANG! BANG! A gunshot was heard through the house.

  “We’re the cops! Hands in the air!”

  “Shit, I have to run,” BANG! Dustin tried to escape, the cop then shot him in his leg.

  “Hands in the air!” He ordered

  “C-calm down, I-I will,” Roberto raised his hands.

 They were then brought in the court to be judged.

February 01, 2021 15:35

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5 comments

14:32 Feb 07, 2021

Your story is AWESOME and definitely deserves more attention! One thing that I think that you can work on is ending your story's a bit more cleaner. In this story, I don't get the satisfying ending that I wanted. I wanted to see the bigger picture. But other than that, this story has a great depth of personality in here that I really enjoyed! Your stories are also beautiful and magnificent to read. The amount of detail you add makes you feel like you are there! If you don't mind, can you please read my story Betrayal and give some feedback? ...

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Affair Writer
21:06 Feb 07, 2021

Thanks a lot for your comment, you're my first and I'll cherish it forever. Thanks for the tip, I had to do everything in a rush since it's on weekly basis and I've got other stuff to do. I'm still 18 and I'll do better next time. I had just woken up and this made my day, thanks a lot P.s if you spot more than 1 reply just ignore it I don't know what went wrong and I have followed you too.

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22:49 Feb 07, 2021

Aww thank you! I know, writing isn’t everything and sometimes we need breaks! Overall you are a wonderful writer that will defiantly succeed in life.

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Kay (:
18:13 Feb 09, 2021

'they then head to sleep.' Shouldn't it be, "They headed to bed?" the story altogether was confusing and all over the place, it seems you wrote some sentences and then went off somewhere else. You left several things open, like what happened to the other people who got murdered? The story itself was made up of just dialogue, I had hard time telling who was talking. Your story is lacking detail and if you added to the dialogue in-between that can be fixed. It has a good plot to it, though could be more defined in the betrayal part. Keep writ...

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Affair Writer
12:14 Apr 26, 2021

sorry for the late reply, thanks for the advice. I'm still a beginner and English is not my first language. So yeah, I'll read your story after this, thanks a lot.

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