It Was Never You

It was never you whom I dreamed of having a life with, it was never you whom I wanted their touch,

It was never you whom I wanted to build a new life with, to abandon everything I have just to be in the same place as yours, to leave everything I am attached to, to every place I have spent years and days in, to every person I have had memories with, to every corner I laughed with the people I love in, to every restaurant I ate from or even a street I wandered and got lost in.

It was never you whom I found my lost pieces in, who completed every missing part in me, whom I got lost in holding their hands, feeling every touch, it wasn’t only you touching my hand, it was you touching my heart too, all the way up, to this very special part of me I have been preserving for so long,

It was never you whom I dream of every single day before I sleep, holding my phone for hours, looking at our photos, remembering every place we went to together, every laugh we had deep down in our hearts, every restaurant we ate at, or even every place in the early morning when we had coffee at,

It was never you whom when I looked right straight in the eyes I got lost, I got lost many times, but I wasn’t afraid of getting lost, because when I look at you all I feel is that, I am home.

it was never you whom i wanted to be up all night waiting for so we can talk, hear your voice.

it was never you whom i thought that giving in completely without stumbling Through the way Is safe.

it was never you whom i got excited everytime my phone rings and i get seeing your picture on my screen.

It was never you whom I never wanted to stop looking at their eyes, a very unexplained feeling I used to get every time I just stare right straight in your eyes, I never got bored, I wanted more. I wanted more of you. And more of us.

It was never you whom I loved to share everything with, from the good to the bad, I was never afraid of showing you my insecurities because you turned every insecurity and flaw I had into a feature.

It was never you whom I wanted to see in their eyes how beautiful I was, to the excitement I got every time I go down in the car knowing that at the end of my route, I get to see you.

It was never you whom I wanted to take pictures everywhere anytime with, smiling next, or having by my side.

it was never you whom i felt the protection in his eyes, how you take care of me, afraid of any danger that my touch me, holding me very tight and making sure i am okay. Worrying about me, i still recall our incident and how you were so overprotective.

It was never you whom I felt that I own the whole world by resting my head on your shoulder, relaxing and feeling safe knowing that no matter how bad things get, I have you.

It was never you whom I wanted to go on a car ride with, listening to all the songs we’ve wanted to listen to, singing with each other, or even holding hands.

It was never you whom I bore all the distance for, you were worth every mile for me.

It's as never you whom I thought that sleeping was exciting for me, knowing that I’ll have to wake up the next day to see you.

It was never you whom I felt that life feels good again, that your hug is the haven I’d go hide in when things go wrong.

It was never you whom I was heartbroken every time we had to go to our homes, it never felt enough of you, I always wanted one hundred percent of you all day every day twenty-four seven and that was also not enough.

It was never you whom I starred every massage I got from so that when I feel lonely, I’d read them all over again so it’d make me feel you are right there beside me.

It was never you whom I had no problem sitting next to, just starring even if your mind was completely somewhere else.

It was never you whom I wanted to meet every person that you have in your life, to love the people you love, to go to the places you go, and to watch and listen to the same things you love.

it was never you whom i named an album that has all our moments and video calls with their name.

It was never you whom I felt that having you was all I need, was more than enough.

It was never you whom I adored their laugh and even wanted more.

It was never you whom I loved to listen to unstoppable, I even wanted you to speak more.

It was never you whom I miss even when you were right there beside me.

It was never you whom I wanted to ditch everything for.

It was never you whom I felt very sad whenever you were not okay or angry, and when I felt so bad for being completely helpless, all I wanted was to hug you so all this pain would go away.

It was never you whom I completely changed for, took care of, and went the extra mile for, wanted to have in my life no matter how different we are.

It was never you whom I chose over myself every time, I had to even learn self-control and too many ways to deal with you because deep down I wanted nothing in my life but you.

It was never you whom I left everything and everyone just to answer your phone call.

It was never you whom I wanted to have by my side spending every event with, a birthday or new year’s eve, and it hurts every time knowing we are miles apart.

It was never you whom I dreamed of attending a concert for our favorite singer together, just imagining how much fun we’d have, singing out loud while holding our hands together.

It was never you whom I let my guards down for.

It was never you whom I wanted to go shopping with, choosing clothes together.

It was never you whom I wanted to see go big and successful at work, to celebrate every moment 0of success with, to push forward and be proud of.

It was never you whom I wanted to know about his darkness and hug it very tight, to hear about all your past traumas while keeping your hands between mine.

It was never you whom I wanted to never leave their side.

It was never you whom when every time we fight, a piece of me gets shattered more and more.

And what makes it worse, having you on the other side of the world, but as I said, you are worth every mile between us.

It was never you whom I imagined having a family with, growing old together, doing crazy things, going anywhere in the middle of the night, having beautiful kids with.

It was never you whom I thought that leaving my heart in their hands is safe, that I did not want to think twice.

It was never you whom I wanted as a best friend and a lover. A lover of mine and only mine.

It was never you whom I thought I’d get that jealous over, that I wanted no other girl to come near you, or even talk to you, I wanted to other girl but me.

It was never you whom I thought I’d gather all my courage and have the guts to ask you about how you feel about us.

It was never you whom I thought I’d get very happy with telling you how I feel, and it was the best feeling ever knowing how much you have felt, and how our feelings are mutual.

It was never you whom I thought that with every imperfection you have got, these imperfections are beautiful.

It was never you whom I want to never leave their side.

It was never you whom I kept telling myself all the time that I would never fall for, he ain't that guy. But in the end, I guess I fell for you, deeply, sincerely, with no hesitation, all at once, without thinking and very hard.

It was never you but in the end, I guess, it has always been you. You and only you.