Chill up my spine.

It came and went.

It would come and go.

An unshakeable force.

It showed up unannounced and rudely left without warning.

The leftover feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

No exit strategy.

No way out.

The only way through,

was through.

So when it hit, usually fast and hard, could only close my eyes and ride it out.

Or.

Some days, rearrange the furniture with a vengeance.

No middle ground, no down time, no waiting time.

Relax. Or. Explode.

The only two choices given as well as the residual was the painful chill up my spine of a choice taken away.

Who knew?

No one.

Until and when the chill worked its way out and dissipated out wafting slowly away from the moment. Remarkably and calmly replaced by a gentle breeze tickling mysteriously all over me.

Safety after the tornado.

Was this time as bad as the other time? Worse?Better?

Ironically the leftover options of the haze and daze.

Magically the senses are brought back down to earth and all seems “normal.” The chill replaced by a gentle breeze caressing the bad memories that are slowly being forgotten.

For now. For today. For the moment. Until the next time.

Unsuccessful methods to purge them, expunge them, expulsion attempts to rid them from the viscera failed.

Them demons go down hard, sometimes never. What can you do when they oftentimes take up permanent occupancy, not to mention residency, in the recesses of mindful days and nights.

Fighting fear with fear doesn’t work. Neither does throwing caution to the wind. Or around the wind. Or at the wind. At the end of the day the bug-crawling-feeling wincing up and down the spine is a reflection of a hurt not dealt with, a feeling not conquered, a happening that should not have occurred. The wince, the dreadful wince doesn’t go away, easily or ever. The itchy, scratchy feeling that someone is continuing to eat away at the life you lead by counting or dis-counting mistakes.

Imagine the worst? Demons hungrily feed off of fear they never intend to NOT instill. That is why they are so tough to beat. They unapologetically hit us upside the head while we turn the other cheek.

Rest assured. Demons, big and small.

They can be beaten. 🏋️

We just don’t always know how. Or how best to. Or how not to,

Fight back.

Enter. The quiet and gentle breeze that brings the storm back into perspective.

The breezes are both strong and sure. The breeze is on our side. Hallelujah! Stroking back and forth our inner calm with intent to instill joy and no more pain. Joy that flushes out of the innards and pores.

As gross as it sounds, this really is a good thing.

After all, and at the same time unfortunately, the innards are the most tasty, albeit not as good as the mean, lean, fighting machine we think we are!

The good news is that we can be our best self of the mean, lean fighting machine. There is a whole lotta beef in self-acceptance. The funny thing is, is helps us to be outwardly acceptable of our brothers and our sisters when we put down the guard and hold out the hand. Hold hands.

Until then, or that moment occurs for you.

Keep at it.

It is worth the doubt and all the trouble put up with along the winding path of doubt.

I get it.

The difference between faith and reason is a wide gulf of doubt and inaction.

On the one hand, faith is said to be superior to reason. A God-fearing person would certainly hold this truth in the palm of their hand and make room for it in their heart. The battle ensues and competes with the hand held device of never ending temptation and instant gratification.

On the other hand, faith is also challenged when there is sufficient evidence to prove it is meritable.

See.

“Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.” This is an old sentence assigned during the typing test of typing class in the 80’s. Why bring it up now? Because as lost as things seem right now, it is as pertinent in the classrooms of our homes as it is in the classrooms of learning institutions.

Now. Is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.

It does not matter if it is a rationed one can or a truck-full of plenty.

Just doing something instead of nothing is all He asks. And from His perspective it should be rather easy for us mortals to oblige the obligation of His life. For others.

In the meantime, when the fears fear their ugliness, their ugly heads, rest assured He is here, there and everywhere with a gentle and calming breeze to help us remember we are all worth fighting for and it is also worth fighting for one another.

Even, if and mostly when we darn don’t feel like it.

We are reminded that He stripped down to nothing with the intention of giving everything to and for us.

We can at least, smile at a neighbor, step up for a neighbor. As he said, do not covet thy neighbor’s anything. Step in or step out and leave personal vices and devices at the door.

Faith +Reason= No righteousness.

He is the only one who gets to say this is His. The rest of us must spend our lives working to show Him he was right all along.

And.

We were wrong.

In our thoughts, words and actions.

Why?

(Btw…He forgives us for our dufus moments)

Because we are not Him. No one is.

He is Him.

We are the imperfect down below here to work, work harder and work it, to show we at the least aspire to love our neighbor as ourself.

We may never “get it.” We may and probably will never be able to grasp his entire love for us. We, get too busy proving ourselves in this way or that way.

The best we can do is the best we can do.

And.

When the gentle breeze envelopes us after the storm of the moment.

Thank Him.🙏🏻