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Your family’s holiday dinners always end with everyone at each other’s throats. This year you’re determined to keep a low profile, but your patience is being put to the test.

Posted in Thanksgiving on Nov 24, 2023

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✍️ 38 stories

Forthright Thursday

Winner of Contest #226 🏆

8:45PM Thanksgiving Day – GLOVES OFF: My mother, Mary, and her sister Alice were engaged in a wrestling match on the dining room table. Aloysius – my father - and Alice’s plus one; Jack, attempted to pry them apart, but both women had locked themselves into each other’s hair with vice-like grips, despite both their hands being splattered with custard trifle remnants. All I could do as an observing teenager was sit with mouth agape while holding my new Super 8mm silent movie camera, recording the whole scene. It was typical behaviour at famil...

106 likes 83 comments 83
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Potatoes Are for Peasants

Submitted to Contest #226

Cashmere is a sign of success. Or so I tell myself as I stand at my aunt’s door, a potato casserole gripped in my hands. “Knock ‘em dead,” my roommate jokingly told me as I’d exited our apartment. I suddenly wish I’d brought her for moral support instead of the spuds. I press the doorbell again. Augustus, my cousin, opens the door and glares down at me. “Are you coming in?” he says it like he’s been holding the door open for an ungodly amount of time. “Hello to you too,” I say and enter the marble foyer. I thrust the casserole in...

30 likes 25 comments 25
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Scape Goat

Submitted to Contest #226

“Marcus, What if we host Thanksgiving at our house this year?” Marina asked, her voice soft. I squinted my eyes, looking for the catch, but my wife’s wide smile seemed to have good intentions, for once. Marina, my beautiful over-achieving wife, knew I couldn’t stand her family. After the disaster last year I never wanted to see them again. Hosting her family could only be a disaster. But, this dinner could give us a reason to work together, instead of drifting apart. Lately we barely speak, Marina blamed me for the cold drafts...

23 likes 13 comments 13
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Influence

Shortlisted for Contest #226 ⭐️

Thanksgiving dinner has ended in bloodshed the past two years running, so when my sister Claire requested that we wear red for the big family photo, I applauded her ingenuity. If someone bleeds, it’ll blend in and we can just power through as if nothing happened. How genius!  Although her career choice is not one I would choose for myself, I admire her determination. She is not going to let anything derail her holiday content this year, and heaven help anyone who gets in her way.  I hope that since the last two Thanksgivings have...

22 likes 16 comments 16
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The flame of holiday

Submitted to Contest #226

I hate holidays. The only joy comes from the snowy view outside and the empty road. Behind the wheel, I relax as thoughts gather. My hand instinctively reaches for the glove compartment where cigarettes used to lie. My gaze slides over the passenger seat, holding expensive gift wine I won't even taste. I don't want to tempt myself; alcoholism begins with a sip. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions; let them stay there. I take a mint-flavored gum; menthol envelops my throat, and my ego takes pride in itself. The journey is ...

20 likes 8 comments 8
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A very unmerry Christmas

Submitted to Contest #226

***contains swearing***Another year on its way out, another set of new year’s resolutions to be discarded with January firsts’ mother of all hangovers. Still unmarried and childless and in the same job I’ve been in for 8 years with no promotion in sight at the ripe age of 36. That means another wonderful Christmas dinner where the topic of conversation will be about my pathetic life. My brother will boast about how he’s the smartest entrepreneur the world has ever seen, and his bachelor life of revolving door women will be celebrated. Meanwh...

20 likes 12 comments 12
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Melanoma and Misunderstandings

Submitted to Contest #226

This satirical story is entirely fictitious. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed in the making of this story.Sam hadn’t visited home for 5 years. Yearning for a moment of peace and quiet without distraction, to plot the future of AI, he had accepted his mother's invite. A genius searching for original thought needed a type of deep focus one couldn’t find in the Valley.“Samuel?” a voice called from below.“Yes, mom?”“Would you come downstairs for dinner?”“I'm vegetar...

19 likes 13 comments 13
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Pilgrim's Egress: A Mike Dodge Holiday Mystery

Submitted to Contest #226

“Yeah, I don’t mind that so much,” Cousin Greg replied in an octave that suggested the contrary. “It’s when they have to shove it in your face all the time.”I nudged my chair gently back, an inch or two to allow graceful egress. Load-bearing plastic against composite garage flooring does not permit such a thing, especially at Thanksgiving, and Sarah glanced toward my end of the table. Rainbow Greg was in full dudgeon, and he gave me merely a flickering side-eye as I rose. Brother-in-law Jake soon would rally as well against rampant face-shov...

14 likes 17 comments 17
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Bubbles, Destroyer of Worlds

Submitted to Contest #226

I hate them. I hate them all. The anguish and frustration they force me to feel every single day tests my sanity. They don’t understand me, they don’t take me seriously and they don’t realise what I am capable of. But they will soon enough, my anger, my fury, my rage will not be contained for much longer. The world shall fear me! I look in disgust at the teenage boy sitting across from me. My thousand yard eyes stare past his frail existence, he remains completely oblivious to the suffering I will inflict. They have all pushed me too far f...

13 likes 2 comments 2
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Oscar and Dolores vs The In-Laws

Submitted to Contest #226

Dolores blots her ruby red lipstick in front of the bathroom mirror. “Are you almost ready to go to mother’s, Oscar?” she bellows.“Am I almost ready? I’ve been ready for the past hour!”“Then come in here and let me have a look at you.” Dolores can hear Oscar grumbling as he approaches. Eyes wide enough to pop out of her head, she fumes. “Oscar! Did you really think wearing a shirt missing the top button to my mother’s Christmas dinner would be all right? Seriously!” Shrugging, Oscar strolls into the ba...

13 likes 2 comments 2
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A Family Affair

Submitted to Contest #226

TRIGGER WARNING: Explicit language and mention of substance abuseIt had been five years since I'd been home for the holidays. The last time I was home for Thanksgiving dinner, I uncovered a massive secret my mother was keeping. She swore me to secrecy. What kind of mother would force her child to keep such a secret from her father? I resented her for that. I also blamed her for my little sister Joy's drug addiction and for my older brother Jonathan's gambling problem. She had single handily destroyed our whole family.This year, she had begge...

11 likes 3 comments 3
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Blood is Thicker

Submitted to Contest #226

You can’t choose your family, and I lost the family lottery big time. I doubt anyone ever wins big, not unless they are gifted a very limited number of family members who have mastered the art of not inflicting themselves upon family members. There is supposed to be a compensating strategy to make up for family and it has something to do with friends. Apparently, you can choose your friends, but that all falls down because it’s not like you can form a cadre of friends who you take with you wherever you go to protect you from family and the...

10 likes 6 comments 6
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Tis The Season

Submitted to Contest #226

“What’s the matter? Did you taste something sour?” Marty looked at his girlfriend, Alice, when he heard the spoon drop into her cereal bowl.“No, I didn’t taste anything sour,” Alice mimicked. “I just got a text from your sister, Norma.” She held the phone to Marty’s face. “She is reminding me about dinner this evening. I mean, how can I forget although I wish I could. She’s been sending me messages for over a month now, and this time she texts me the recipe for mashed potatoes. I mean, really? Last year she told me to make sure I follow the ...

10 likes 1 comment 1
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Temptful Day

Submitted to Contest #226

The self-driving car hummed softly as it glided to a stop in front of my childhood home. Its sleek design and quiet efficiency were stark reminders of the world outside our family's old, somewhat anachronistic house. The familiar facade, with solar panels glistening on the roof and a smart garden system tending to the winter plants, contrasted with the memories of Thanksgivings past. "Home," the car's AI assistant chimed in a soothing tone as the door slid open silently. "Just keep a low profile," I reminded myself, stepping onto the drive...

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Thanksgiving Trailer Trash Treasures

Submitted to Contest #226

It’s been 8 years since I’ve seen my family from my mom’s side. The trailer trash side. I managed to escape 8 Thanksgivings with audacity and luck but this year they got me by guilt. Grandpa Rolly was on his last mile, and he wanted to witness one last shitshow before he kicked the bucket for good.They all lived in the same trailer park area and everyday with them there’s some sort of hard to believe fuckery happening. I’m not saying I’m better than them, I’m just saying that each and every one of them is missing a couple of bolts in their o...

9 likes 0 comments 0
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