You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late.

Posted in Funny on Oct 26, 2022

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✍️ 116 stories

“Blue Corvette ” by Matt Render

Submitted to Contest #47

Its 3 o clock and the party was called for 12 noon.You've already taken a couple of Valium earlier this morning, but are still worried that Jeff is going to look better with his shirt off than you will The entire week until now You have been on the juice. Also, you cut out bread and refined sugar, had a full box of laxatives and done upwards of 800 sit ups. Jeff has a personal trainer though, so he definitely has the upper hand. Susan is here with you and to your own credit, she looks terrific. Her most recent...

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“Prosopagnosia” by Neppi A

Submitted to Contest #47

You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late. You see him seated with his phone, his back towards you. He was in a printed black and white floral suit- an extremely unattractive one at that. You scrunch your nose up in distaste. You already know that this blind date will be going South even before you meet him. You think of an excuse to say in order to leave early, like you've always done every Friday for the past few months with different men you've been forced to see. Some of your old excuses pass by your mind ...

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“Late For Work, Again” by Karin Morley

Submitted to Contest #47

You are late to work again. You put your suitcase in Deborah’s office and find an apron, realizing it was getting harder and harder to care about a worthless job. The mind-numbingness of so many jobs is truly stupefying to you. The only way you have found around the agreed upon system of accepting unnatural work as natural is a life of no responsibility. No one counts on you, it is only you who is mildly discomforted should you quit a shit job for another shit job. You are alone in the world but somehow, someway, you believe God will take ca...

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“Ten New Friends” by Ella Kinnett

Submitted to Contest #47

You walk over to the dessert shop and pick out the fanciest and most decorated cupcakes they have at the shop for the beach party that one of the popular girls is throwing tomorrow. You really hope that the girls will like them because they are very expensive but hopefully worth it. You are really surprised that you are invited because during school you would usually not classify as one of the ‘cool’ people, because of this, you are really nervous. It was kind of a last minute invitation but you are so grateful that you were invited. Maybe w...

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“The Guest Speaker” by Monica Chaddick

Submitted to Contest #47

You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late. It’s not like you wanted to come anyway. Underneath your very fashion – conscious blouse, you are secretly wearing your t-shirt that says “Sorry I’m late – I didn’t want to come”. You know that no one will see it, but you know it’s there. As usual, no one is paying you any attention. Now, if you wouldn’t have shown up at all, there would be something said later. Since you did show up, regardless of how late you were, the usual behavior will o...

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“Is that you ?” by Saranya Kulothungan

Submitted to Contest #47

In a good old college, with fun and frolic you enjoyed your days. Loved to study. Had way too many friends. Planned for get outs and trips. Went on and on for window shopping. Tried piles of clothes. Had food from top class restaurants to hawkers on the road. Darkened the hostel room to have movie with pizza. Joined beds together for sleepover nights. Piled books on the table to keep laptop on it and watch back to back favourite movies whole night. Watched several seasons of soaps. Wished for these days to go on. With a twinkle in eyes to un...

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“Savior Syndrome” by Acadia Lajeunesse

Submitted to Contest #47

You’re sitting inside the train station, tapping your foot. Time really passes slowly when you’re not having fun, doesn’t it? You laugh and shake your head. You just need to wait a little longer. If you’re too late, it won’t be fashionable at all, because there probably won't be anyone alive to see it. But if the city is in just enough chaos, you’ll have a perfect, fashionably late entrance.“What are you staring at?” You yell at one of the passersby. He’s not staring at you, but you’ve always wanted an excuse to yell that.“Aah!” The man jump...

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“Southern Gothic Ressurection” by Kennedy Kearns

Submitted to Contest #47

You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you’ve arrived fashionably late. One last glance around you assures that no one has seen you before the big entrance. Once inside the atrium of the church you straighten your lapels, breathe a grounding sigh and push open the doors to the sanctuary. At first it takes a moment for the preacher to notice you at the back of the room, but once you lock eyes he blanches and stutters over “great man”. Then, the people that had the misfortune of sitting in the back realize who you are when your mothe...

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“Teen Spy” by Grace T

Submitted to Contest #47

You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you’ve arrived fashionably late. You slide your hand smoothly behind your back and reach under your bullet-proof jacket to grasp the handle of your laser gun, feeling the cold hardness beneath your fingers. “May I take your jacket Milady?” An unassuming waiter steps forward and you tense, but force yourself to smile and remove your hand from beneath your jacket. “That won’t be necessary.” You stop and look at the waiter’s name badge. “Hector. You see it’s rather chilly tonight, don’t you agree?...

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“Fashionable Late” by Julie Murrow

Submitted to Contest #47

Eyes the colour of a tropical sea open slowly. Brilliant white bedding, like summer clouds gently encase long, swimmer’s legs. It’s time. You stand before the mirror but you already know what you’ll see. A body sculpted to perfection, you are a god amongst men. Everywhere you go hungry eyes follow you, body temperatures rise, the air saturates with lust. Men are shaken. They don’t know why they want to be near you, want to be taken by you. But they do. You smile at the thought. In the bathroom, as you clean your perfect t...

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“I put the fun in funeral” by Jane Syphert

Submitted to Contest #47

Isaac looked down at his watch. Perfect. Five more minutes. The guard to his right looked down at him with a look of disturbed unbelief. "I'm sorry, Dave, this is how it has to be." "Sir, you have to go in. They will start without you, and that would make you look real bad. Please get into the car." Dave had been one of Isaacs' favorite guards as a child and remained so in adult life. No one else put up with Isaacs' shennanigans. "Five more minutes?" Dave looked down at his watch and scowled. Isaac knew that this was a big deal, but so...

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“The Nobel Prize Winner” by David Dicaire

Submitted to Contest #47

The Nobel Prize Winner Yes, this is happening in real time. After so much self-doubt, major setbacks, super triumphs and more effort poured out of a soul then seems humanly possible, you are heading to accept your Noble Prize for Literature. You are fashionably late not because you are a snob, but because you needed to calm your nerves. Your first book, Red Sun Rising didn’t do much, but the sequel Black Day in America caught everyone’s attention. It was so groundbreaking that it pulled Red Sun Rising out of the bargain bi...

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“The Key” by Jean Young

Submitted to Contest #47

Do you even know how to begin again? It’s been so long. It feels forced and tight. Each sentence feels like digging deep into the recesses of your brain and feeling nothing but dust. How do you even begin again when it’s been so long since you’ve truly sat with yourself? Truly looked inside that part of yourself that was locked away when the world became too real? Do you remember the last time you felt inspired? When you got that spark and you had to get it all down as quickly as possible or else it would be snatched away from you? T...

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“Not Interested” by Christine Hungerford

Submitted to Contest #47

The car pulls up to the pearl white gates, the gravel driveway growling softly under your Chevrolet’s black wheels. You roll your window down, the security guard sees your photo ID and when he slams his huge fist down onto something, the gates open. You flash your eyes to your watch. Great. 7:10 pm. Wearing a smug look, you go to park amongst all the Hondas, Chevrolets, Camaros, Jeeps, Ford Mustangs and even slickly shiny limousines. Opening the door should be something a val...

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“Party time” by Mya Ramirez

Submitted to Contest #47

You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late. After all, you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. This is the first time you have ever been invited to a party and after running an algorithm, you've found out that being on time is not the way to go. When you pull up your Mom gives you a smile and a thumbs up. You just sigh. You get out of the car and inspect the house in which the party is. You can tell the car parked in front of it is a Kia from the year 2000. The house looks to be just built. You deci...

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You check the time. Perfect. As intended, you've arrived fashionably late.

Submissions are closed

✍️ 116 stories

“Blue Corvette ” by Matt Render

“Prosopagnosia” by Neppi A

“Late For Work, Again” by Karin Morley

“Ten New Friends” by Ella Kinnett

“The Guest Speaker” by Monica Chaddick

“Is that you ?” by Saranya Kulothungan

“Savior Syndrome” by Acadia Lajeunesse

“Southern Gothic Ressurection” by Kennedy Kearns

“Teen Spy” by Grace T

“Fashionable Late” by Julie Murrow

“I put the fun in funeral” by Jane Syphert

“The Nobel Prize Winner” by David Dicaire

“The Key” by Jean Young

“Not Interested” by Christine Hungerford

“Party time” by Mya Ramirez

🌟 Similar prompts

As you check your mail, you notice a letter that makes you stop in your tracks.

"Just say it," you silently reminded yourself. You knew you'd regret it if you didn't.

You looked out the window and, not for the first time, thought about how wrong the weather forecast had been.

Suitcase in hand, you head to the station.

Contest #47

Enter our weekly contest!

$50

Prize money

881

Contest entries

0

Stories

Win $250 in our short story competition 🏆

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