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Write about a character going to great lengths to return an unwanted gift.

Posted in Funny on Nov 18, 2022

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✍️ 22 stories

Emotional ripoff

Submitted to Contest #173

The ripped wrapping paper stares at me unanimously. The glowing dress seems to be gloating at me. The scattered gift card and money seems to be smirking at me. What is getting on my nerves is that dress. Not only is it body shaming me, but it is speaking out his language. If that is what you want sister, I can passionately speak back to you as well. I dumped you in the trash can. Why did my roommates think it's such a noble thing to return you back to my bed? Maybe if I had ripped off my name, would you have been in another person's han...

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Museum De Phantasia

Submitted to Contest #173

Museum De Phantasia You know, like West World but without all the death and risk. Without the hassle of trekking out into a deserted wasteland propped up by cardboard city structures. In a tall skyscraper, eleven stories high. Each floor with its own theme. You know this. It’s very infamous.I don’t know it.You know, like a theme park, but real-life.Not all that special then.You’re not understanding.Let me explain it, Dorothea. Horace and I have actually been there.Oh that was one hell of a time. Thanks for reminding me.Oh quiet, Horace,...

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Todd vs The Book

Submitted to Contest #173

Christmas morning hasn’t been as magical as I remember it from my childhood. At least not until this morning. As I look out the front window, there’s fluffy snow calmly settling on the leafless branches across the street. Even the egg nog I dribbled all over my sweater can’t ruin this moment of bliss. Bing Crosby’s White Christmas is playing in the background, the perfect song for the moment.  “Todd,” says my mother from across the room. “Time to open presents.” Even in my 30’s, my parents still spoil me. And now they even spoil my gir...

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The Sapphire Necklace

Submitted to Contest #173

In the brown box, tucked in around the socks, shorts, and tees, was a manilla envelope containing the gold bangle bracelets Jon had given Audrey. However, she had been unwilling to part with her oval sapphire and diamond solitaire pendant. She hadn’t taken it off since Jon had given her the necklace last Christmas. Sapphire was not only her birthstone; it also matched her eyes and had healing properties. Yet, Audrey was tired ofthe guilt she felt whenever she glanced at the glimmering sapphire in the mirror.  She and Jon had called...

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Exchanging Secrets

Submitted to Contest #173

Harriet paced her living room floor, pausing every so often to glare at the glossy department store carrier bag sitting on her dining table. It contained the dullest, frumpiest sweater that she had ever seen, a birthday gift from her son Edgar and his wife, the prissy church-going Madeline. She wondered what had possessed them to pick it. Goodness knows but she wouldn't put it past them to choose it for her burial outfit. She made a mental note to specify her funeral wishes. Harriet wanted to take it back to the store and exchange it for a s...

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The Stuffy Fluffy Buddy Polar Bear Heist

Submitted to Contest #173

Lucy Carter forces herself to stop trembling by standing stock-still in front of the massive and shiny brass doors of Percy’s Department Store. Her stance is made difficult due to the Christmas passers-by that keep bumping into her and hitting her dirt smudged Percy’s labeled gift bag which she has tightly coiled through her white knuckled hands. Her equally filthy used-to-be white woolen coat is torn away at one sleeve, the coat buttons dangling by threads. Taking a deep breath and tracing her eyebrow with her free hand she moves toward the...

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Of Giving and Getting

Submitted to Contest #173

Rita stood at the edge of the store, watching through huge glass windows past the mannequins at the queue of people waiting to return and exchange gifts. She stared, her own department store bag held tightly in hand. Could she do this? Did she have the courage?  In the queue, people were fidgeting, some casting fearful looks at the doors, others attempting to hide faces behind huge sunglasses and sun hats. Really? In the cold of winter? As the first person in the queue shifted, she caught sight of Sally, her friend who’d given her thi...

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