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Write a story about two sporting rivals having to work together.

Posted in Funny on Jun 21, 2024

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✍️ 23 stories

Xer-Bane Didn't Bless Dwarfs with Long Legs

Submitted to Contest #256

I was pacing myself, knowing that a cross-country race isn't won by speed but by stamina. It's a good thing, too, since Xer-Bane didn't bless dwarfs with long legs. Suddenly, an elf came from behind and shoulder-checked me. Before regaining my balance, I wobbled and came very close to hitting a tree. "Do that again, and I'll knock that smirk off your face!" I said between breaths. "Gotta catch me first, Phlegm-it!" The windbag yelled. "Flimlet! You pompous, girly-haired nimrod!" I remember seeing this guy before the race, but I have no idea ...

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Tenuous Teamwork

Submitted to Contest #256

Mention of Sexual ViolenceVikky went shopping with Aunt Ruth after school on Thursday. Aunt Ruth chattered excitedly. You’d have thought young Thomas had asked her to be his girl at the school prom. This shopping trip seemed exactly like Ruth’s cup of Earl Grey. Yet, she appeared as overlooked as a solitary ham sandwich in comparison with a plate of tasty hors d’oeuvresHer niece, Vikky, stole the show. She commanded attention from the razor-sharp cut of her long black bob, her crisply pleated miniskirt and knee-high socks, to her chunky, bla...

27 likes 33 comments 33
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Henry's Fight

Shortlisted for Contest #256 ⭐️

It was beginning to look like Henry was going to accomplish a goal he had been working towards for 30 years. And he was pissed about it. He was standing in the Crimson Dragon Pub at the center shuffleboard table during the championship round. But all he could think was that this was not how it was supposed to happen. One night 30 years ago Henry had started playing at the lone beat up old shuffleboard table at the Crimson with his old army pal Dave. Dave was about the only person that could stand any time around Henry, and even he only did t...

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Ace of Hearts

Submitted to Contest #256

Has tennis champion Laia Wilson ever had a bad day in her life? When the question is directed at the press, the answer is a simple no.“She’s perfect!” A reporter might say.The reporter could be anyone.They might be a lady with crooked eyebrows, one who talks so fast that ten percent of her audience can’t understand her. Maybe a rapidly aging man who has trouble reading the telecaster, squinting his eyes because he’s one nervous laugh away from being fired.Who the reporter is doesn’t matter. Why? Because every other reporter out there, s...

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Joust Jesting

Submitted to Contest #256

“Zounds! Thou shalt taste the tip of my lance, worm!”“Not if thou dost taste the tip of mine first, cockroach!”The two knights huffed at each other through their visors, their horses copying them beneath their blinkered hoods.They turned their trusty steeds and clip-clopped back to either end of the tilt – the posh word for the separator that ran down the middle of the jousting field – there to tarry until the baroness dropped her hanky, thus setting the joust in motion.The ‘cockroach’ was Sir Gladhehad, the land’s jousting champion for the ...

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Team Up at The Strike Out!

Submitted to Contest #256

You could say Ten-pin bowling runs in the family. My dad even named me Penelope, thinking “Ten-Pin Penny” would be a cool handle when I turned pro. I shit you not. And yes, I am very aware it sounds more like a D-grade superhero name.Hank “The Spin” Irvington - heard of him? Nope, didn’t think so. Well, that’s my loving father. A two-time Kentucky State Champion bowler circa sometime back in the 80s. And I can confirm being an amateur bowling champion is a big deal, in the same way winning a blue ribbon at a local fair’s taxidermy contest, i...

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Returning the Volley

Submitted to Contest #256

    As soon as the match began, Irina Ubetekov came rushing toward the net at Wimbledon, returning each serve with more power than she had put behind the thousands she had made during her entire 10-year career.     This tournament meant much more. It would put the final jewel in the crown on her climb up the summit of the tennis world, and she wanted to leave that world with a flourish on her record, avoiding the dreaded “40-Love” at all costs.      For she had made u...

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Double Act

Submitted to Contest #256

Maldec was one of the greatest players to ever step foot on court. He’d won more competitions than he had room for in his trophy cabinet, and rumour had it that he had resorted to giving them away at children’s birthday parties.The press loved him; his grace, his style, his work ethic, and they especially loved the fact that every time they predicted he would ‘go all the way’, they happened to be right. And for as long as I had been on the tour, they had compared me to him.I hated when they did that.My strokes, they said, had a little someth...

10 likes 4 comments 4
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Championship Mentality

Submitted to Contest #256

I hear the man say, “Now, just hand it over, and I won’t have to bash your goddamn skull in.” He is about 6’5, tattoos run from his burly shoulders down to his bony fingers. He wears a wedding band that rings against the tire iron with each smack against his palm. Two others surround him. One reaches into his waistband behind him, but I can see that there is no gun there. He is smaller than the other two. His hands tremble, and his knees wobble slightly, but noticeably. He is hidden behind the others for the most part from Rodericks angle, s...

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Two brooms at work

Submitted to Contest #256

Larry nervously tapped his foot on the ground while the boss man clicked on his computer. The boss was still speaking, words generously pouring out of his mouth, spouting instructions at a rate faster than Larry could process. But Larry's brain had frozen ever since the name Barry Mitchell had been uttered. "So that's settled then. You and Barry are going to work on the Maxim project. You've got seven days until the presentation." "But...Sir...I need to." "And you know the Maxim project, sonny. There's some meaty grub in there. So you bette...

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It All Depends On What Team You Are On

Submitted to Contest #256

It was the last game of the season, and it meant the league championship for the winning team. The two teams were very competitive, especially with each other, and there were more penalties in their games against each other than any other matchup in the league.  It was the last minute of the third period. George, one of the stars of the Grant Street Gophers was on a breakaway heading towards the opposition net. They were behind by one goal.  He slowed down somewhat in order to plan most carefully how he was going to score...

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Giddy up

Submitted to Contest #256

Once upon a time, when I was a fierce Product Manager, I was invited to the Company's Top Hundred annual meeting. Neither I nor any of my group colleagues - invited as well- were part of such a select group, but our manager had decided that year to do a bit of self-promotion and convinced the organization that we were worthy of being included. So when the day arrived, we were there, the top hundred, a few organizers, and the ten extra-worthy ones, in a remote location, surrounded by greenery and chirping birds, ready to discuss the organizat...

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Volleyball Rivals

Submitted to Contest #256

In the sunny coastal town of Bayside, volleyball was everything. The beach was always packed with students, and two names stood out: Alex King and Jamie Rivera.Alex was a defensive genius. He could dive and dig like nobody else, always saving impossible shots. Jamie, on the other hand, was the queen of the net. Her spikes were fierce, and her blocks were solid. Their rivalry was legendary, and every tournament was a showdown between their teams. It was always intense.This year, the Bayside Volleyball Classic threw a curveball. To shake thing...

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Soccer Captains

Submitted to Contest #256

My tennis shoes tap against the concrete Brookmont school floors as I walk to Coach Biles' office. She told me to meet her in her office after school to discuss tomorrows game. I'm unsure what it's about, but I'm assuming she's going to bring up the fact that half the girls on the soccer team are out sick with a terrible cold that's been going around. We most likely are going to have to cancel the game tomorrow.When I reach the wooden door labeled 'Coach Biles.' I lift my fist and tap my knuckles against the door. "Come in," Coach calls from...

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Let's Play Ball

Submitted to Contest #256

The locker room was humid and smelled of sweat no doubt from the soccer team sprawled across the benches. Katie took a sip from her water jug and tried to ease her panting. Luckily, the hot anger crawling under her skin kept her from feeling weary.“What the hell was that out there?”Coach Macintosh barged into the ladies locker room, and the door swung back and forth on its hinges behind her. Katie’s body tensed up. There was one main rule that The Cougars followed above all, don’t piss off Coach. That is unless you actually wanted to do 50 b...

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