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Each year, your character's family goes on the most exotic vacations. Finally they discover why — their family are assassins.

Posted in Funny on Sep 1, 2023

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✍️ 36 stories

A Tale Of The Unexpected

Submitted to Contest #214

A Tale Of The Unexpected Our summer vacations nearly always ended abruptly. I asked myself why did Daddy takes us to such places, different all of them, off the beaten track. If it had been the South of France or a delicious Greek Island, I could have been happy but it was mainly some overpopulated South American city, Columbia mainly. We went there five times in all. Now don’t get me wrong, Bogota has a lot going for it. It’s charming cobbled streets and multi-coloured houses could have you thinking you were in the Cinque Terre or the Am...

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Her Father's Secret

Submitted to Contest #214

As the car pulled up to the three-storey chalet on the edge of The Lac de Serre-Ponçon in the South of France, the sun glistened on the water as if to invite them in. The two girls, Talia and Maya, had their noses pressed up against the windows, trying to capture every detail they drove past: mermaid-obsessed Talia because she was desperate to be by the water, and budding artist Maya for inspiration for her next painting. She already had her sketchbook grasped firmly against her chest. Between them sat their mother, Marianna, whose impeccabl...

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What Librarians Do With their Summers

Submitted to Contest #214

Every summer —and sometimes over Winter and Spring Break— it was the same story. Sonya’s mother and sister would pack their bags and head off to someplace no-one had ever heard of before. Least summer it had been Lahore. The summer before it had been Kodiak Island. This summer they were, quite literally, headed to Timbuktu. Like IRL. And every trip went more or less the same. They almost always stayed with “friends,” of which Sonya’s mother seemed to have an endless supply, though none of them were ever people she had heard her mom mention b...

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Family Vacations

Submitted to Contest #214

     “Pack up your things,” my father said as he stuck his head in my room.  “We’ve got tickets for the air galley tomorrow.  We need to be at the aerodrome in Londinium by the third hour.”      I groaned.  We had just got back from Dalmatia just a week ago and the month before that, we were in Caledonia.  We spend more time abroad than we do at home.        “Can’t I stay at home this time,” I pleaded.  “Briseis can keep an eye on me...

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Cursed Culture

Submitted to Contest #214

Marsha’s country is younger than the invention of sliced white bread. A tiny nation that embraced modernity with all its bones; bones that were once bleached in the sun of war and colonialisation. Her family carved a comfortable life with questionable work-life balance and plenty of holidays. It was the reign of boomers and working hard always got you somewhere. That’s exactly what Marsha thought her parents did. Mr Hong might have been small in stature, but every ounce of flesh on him was working muscle. His neatly combed side part jet bl...

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L'Invasion

Submitted to Contest #214

A night like this, even though I pretended it wasn’t, was my favorite part of family vacation. Mom and dad wanted an evening alone together, we were in a foreign country, so they didn’t know any baby-sitters, and even though mom told me not to watch scary movies, I did. Six hours alone to watch whatever I wanted, and to not have to watch them fawn over each other was golden. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy my parents love each other and stuff. But at a certain point it’s like, “Get a room.” I see my friends' parents and they’re not nearly as l...

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Club Dead

Submitted to Contest #214

“Where’s the man?” shouted Lily as she leaned over the edge of the platform. The sight of my eight-year-old sister hanging over the precipice startled my mother into action.            “Oh my God, Lily, get back from there!” Mom grabbed her by the arm and hustled her to the rear of the cluster of tourists in yellow helmets and Sky Trek employees in safari jackets, all of whom stared down into the mist. Nothing was visible below the clouds, but the import of the dangling zipline was unmis...

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Artichoke Salad

Submitted to Contest #214

The knife flashed in the broken shards of sunlight filtering into the alley. Andy shrank back, his shoulder bumping into the rusted dumpster, “Mum,” he said, his voice squeaky. “Yes dear?” “He’s got a knife.” “I can see that dear, there’s no need to state the obvious. Let me talk to this gentleman and see what he wants.” “You shut up lady,” the man’s voice was thickly accented. His face barely visible from within the dark hooded top, as he loomed over her. “You give me, phone, jewellery, I take that bag too.” “I’m afraid this bag was a gift,...

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Take Out Some Trash And Take In A Little Paradise-On-Earth

Submitted to Contest #214

I don't even know how to tell this story. ‘Cause when I’m done, you probably won't believe me. For a time, I couldn’t believe it myself. And I lived it. Looking back, I guess there were clues, hints about what was really going on, but, I don’t know, it’s hard to say. You really live in your own world when you’re a kid.  I guess I’ll start with that summer. The summer of my 16th birthday. I had just broken up with Julia (not my first love, but I was pretty crazy about her), so I was really looking ...

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A Vacation to Die For

Submitted to Contest #214

A Vacation to Die For Ralph Emery Barhydt "Woo hooo," yelled Karen. "Vacation time! Where are we going this year?" Karen had walked in from school, the last day of the school year, thrown her books on the floor and broke into the biggest smile you ever saw. Stanley, her younger brother had been napping on the couch and jumped about a foot. Sean, her older brother walked in right behind her also carrying a huge smile.  "Yes," he exclaimed. "Barcelona!" Can you believe it. Barcelona, the east coast of Spain, probably some time in Gi...

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The Assassins' Family Holiday

Submitted to Contest #214

I heard a click as my mom undid the safety, her eye millimeters away from the lens of the gun’s scope.  “This is so much better than last year, man that was tough. Waiting around, all of those meetings. What a boring life. Poor sucker. I guess it’s over now!” My dad chuckled. I stood with my back flush against the hotel room wall. My palms, sweaty and sliding on its cool surface. I didn’t know what else to do, but to stay there like spiderman, making myself as unnoticeable as possible, as my parents prepared themselves to kill a man. M...

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Plain Janes

Submitted to Contest #214

If her cuticles didn’t grow up and lay nice by eighth grade, Tamrya was seriously gonna lose it. It didn’t matter that her acrylics extended far too long for normal typing. Text to speech apps handled her homework just fine. Typing is pretty much the way of the past anyway, more of a Millennial's thing. Where are they?Mils. Speaking of, would Mom ever get her nails done? She was an ok looking mom, but it was like she could care less about those fingertips. Did she just not get it? People judge that sort of thing. And by consequence, Tam...

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A Drop of Blood

Submitted to Contest #214

The end of the world began with a single drop of blood.  While not a very large drop, it clung tenaciously to the back of my father’s trousers as he moved around the living room. Bright and wet, the offending blotch had to be fresh. Father was too meticulous about his appearance to have missed it. But his ability to keep the stain sandwiched between himself and the wall of our vacation suite, away from the eyes of the Parisian police was masterful, if not deeply disturbing. He glided from fireplace to stairwell, from window to radiator...

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Assas-son

Submitted to Contest #214

“Are you joking?? This is a joke. This is a really weird, really bad, really not funny Joke, right?”, said John gesturing to the array of guns and ammunition laid out on the hotel bed. His parents, Antonio and Heather, shook their heads. Nina, his younger sister, lounged on a chair so big she could have curled up and slept on it. She appeared deeply engrossed in her book and was clearly trying to ignore the scene unfolding. John took a pause, “But, assassins……….. that makes no sense. I didn’t even know assassins was like a real thing an...

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Rosemary Gracey is Dead and I Know Who Killed Her

Submitted to Contest #214

She was dead. Pale and cold and turning blue right in front of me. There was yelling, coming from somewhere I’m not sure of. Behind me, surrounding me. The words could’ve been spit in my face and I wouldn’t have cared, wouldn’t have known. Because she was all I could see. Fingertips that had run through my hair and pinched my cheeks now a drying gray, still and silent. Puckered frozen lips and eyes so blue they looked like they held the ocean in them, glazed over and unseeing. Blonde hair splayed over the floor, perfectly fanned out as th...

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