Wayne Scheer

“Christmas Dinner” by Wayne Scheer

A Seabolt Christmas Dinner For brothers Billy and Vernon Seabolt, Christmas represented a sacred time of year. A harmonic convergence of the F-words--food and football. The women, on the other hand, approached the holiday with the kind of excitement normally reserved for cleaning the refrigerator or squeezing into pantyhose after a barelegged summer. This year was going to be diff...

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“Buddies” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #149

Buddies Joey opened the front door of the neatly landscaped suburban house and motioned for Ron to enter. Ron hesitated. He had heard the sound of shattered glass when Joey went to the back of the house. "It's okay," Joey said. "She'll just put it on my bill." "We shouldn't be here." Ron looked behind him as if expecting a police car to pull up.  "Y...

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“Night Music” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #117

Night Music It was just after construction began on our house that we discovered our new home was haunted.  No, we don't see ghosts in white sheets or little girls in flowing nightgowns carrying candles down narrow staircases. But our house is haunted nonetheless. Although our house is made of brick and mortar and is as real as a baby's cry, I'm convinced it also e...

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“One Crazy Morning” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #109

One Crazy Morning The craziness began when I woke up and quit my job. I had no idea what I was dreaming because as soon as my eyes popped open the dream dissolved like melting images in a Dali painting. Without thinking, I grabbed my cellphone from my nightstand and speed dialed my supervisor to tell him I was quitting my job.  Tom is also a friend and he offered m...

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“On the Way to Easy Street” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #95

On the Way to Easy Street Jolene and I have this deal. No matter what our week was like we go out on Saturday night. Nothing big. Just a restaurant, maybe a movie. We get some time with each other and away from the kids, and they get time away from us.  I love our kids. But a four-and five-year-old can suck the life out of you faster than a vampire on speed. Steven, the older one, likes to...

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“Cheaper Than Therapy” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #46

"It's different this time," Will told his wife while sitting in front of his computer, the screen as bare as Mother Hubbard's cupboard. "I have nothing. Nada. Not a single idea for a story. Not even a character, a beginning sentence.  No message on want to impart to the world. Nothing." Will contemplated a naked Mother Hubbard looking into an empty cupboard at a nudist resort. My God. It...

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“Pink Tights” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #32

Elvin lived in a two bedroom ranch house on a street filled with alternating two and three bedroom homes, each looking almost the same and each lined with boxwoods, trimmed exactly three feet tall. A community ordinance required the use of a yard stick.The neighborhood association banned all planting other than what they considered appropriate. They also required approval before painting a house and the front doors had to be either white or for the daring, a sober shade of dark red....

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“Desert Flower” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #20

Desert Flower by Wayne ScheerWhen I was six, I wanted to be a big girl like Mama and smoke cigarettes. I ended up setting the living room curtains on fire trying to work her cigarette lighter. The flames jumped to my long hair and I had third and fourth degree burns over my face and body.For the first couple of days in the hospital, it hurt so bad I thought I would die. After that, I wanted to die, especially when it began blistering and oozing. It felt like millions of fire ants stinging me at the...

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“Arnold Levin Considers Shooting His In-Laws” by Wayne Scheer

Submitted to Contest #17

Arnold Levin Considers Shooting His In-LawsArnold Levin considered the punishment if he shot his in-laws. Would the shooting be considered justifiable or would he get a judge who never married and thinks all life is precious?It's not that his in-laws were terrible people; in fact, they were good, loving people. That was the problem. Too much of anything is too much, even love. Especially the kind of love that wants to embrace you and share every intimate detail of their li...

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