Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

Stories (122)

122 Stories

3793 karma pts

?

“"A Little Seltzer Down Your Pants"” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #249

“A Little Seltzer Down Your Pants”                                               “A little song,                                    ...

3 comments 3
Read story

“The Elusive Impossible Dream” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #247

The Elusive Impossible DreamWalmart Break Room“You don’t look too happy today, Henry. Anything wrong?”The uncomfortable silence suggested that all was not well in Henry's world at the start of this work day.“What’s wrong?”“I’m not sure, Kate. Coming into work this morning, it hit me. I guess I want to do more with my life than stocking shelves at Walmart. I feel like a real loser.”“That’s what I do, Henry.”“Oh, sorry, Kate. I didn’t mean it that way. I only meant I might be happier doing something else.”“We make our own happiness, Henry.”Wit...

5 comments 5
Read story

“Teeter-Totter Tiff” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #246

Teeter-Totter Tiff(Insensitive treatment of the weight-challenged.) It stands as an integral part of the colorful history of Jefferson playground, a standoff of epic proportions, a historic test of stamina, a battle of will and wit. It was Eastwood vs. Van Cleef, the Roadrunner vs. Wile E. Coyote, Ralphie vs. the kid with green teeth, Westley vs. Prince Humperdinck, Batman vs. … well, you get the idea.Looking past the 3-seater swingset, the monkey bars, and the merry-go-round, under the fading light of the setting sun, a distant observer may...

4 comments 4
Read story

“Meltdown at the Idaho Potato Museum” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #242

Meltdown at the Idaho Potato Museum“No problem is so big or complicated that it can’t be run away from.”- Linus“Martin, how’s the search for a new tour guide going?”“Great, Mr. O’Sullivan.”“How many applications have you received?”“One.”“What? Just one?”“Yes, sir, but the guy looks like a real winner. Here, check out his resumé.”**Application for Employment at the Idaho Potato Museum**Name: Bert “Potato Head” Barnes.Education: Graduate of North Dakota State’s Half-Day Potato School Program (18th in my class).Work Experience: Helped my grandp...

10 comments 10
Read story

“Cupid's Arrow and the Blind Archers” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #241

Cupid’s Arrow and the Blind ArchersHenry was smitten in mere moments. He likely would have secured a prominent position on the pages of the Guinness Book had records been kept on such matters.“She’s a friend of your sister’s, Cal. Katie must have her phone number.”“What? You think I’m Match-dot-com?”“Just get the number. ”“Ok, ok. What’s her name?”“Margie, Marvelous Margie. I’m telling you, Cal, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”----------“Hey, sis, Henry is all googly-eyed over the girl you introduced him to last night at the ‘Y...

15 comments 15
Read story

“Last Moments on a Mountain” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #240

Last Moments on a Mountain“The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.”  - Bob DylanRemarkably, Herb felt better once the decision was made. He could immediately feel the stress and anxiety escaping through every pour. He wished he had figured it all out sooner.The act would be like one-stop shopping, with everything on your mind resolved in a single outing, one dramatic gesture to satisfy all needs. It became clear to him when he recalled his college course in Logic: “A” will be facing a multitude of insurmountable problem...

3 comments 3
Read story

“Depiction Predictions” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #239

Depiction PredictionsOver the months of interrogation, I… more accurately my butt, became a true connoisseur of fine wood. They must have replaced the soft pine with straight-back oak or hickory chairs in the hope the added discomfort would have me confess sooner rather than later. But I could never confess as I didn’t understand it myself.The drawings were spread out all over the table- again. Sure I recognized them. I drew them.“Just the facts, Jesse! Just the facts.”“It’s going to be a whole lot better for you if you just tell us the trut...

11 comments 11
Read story

“"It"” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #238

“It”Tormented by the thought, dreading the moment, awaiting the inevitable, peace evades me. Morning, noon, and night, here, there, and everywhere, the specter haunts me. I’ve always known the Why. It was the What, When, and Where that disrupt my life’s journey, and of course, the fear of the great unknown, a/k/a “it”.“It”- used with many verbs as a direct object with little or no meaning- Merriam-Webster.“Timmy! If you do that again, I’m going to… well, you’re really going to get it!”“When your Father gets home, he will… well, you’ll see. Y...

5 comments 5
Read story

“First, Last, With Nothing in Between” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #237

First, Last, With Nothing in Between Rita, Linda, Gail, Annie, Judy, Mardi… Annie..  Annie… Annie.I thought I buried the moment, got my mind out of Neutral, thought I could someday see the sunrise as the beginning of a new day. The moment, that wonderful, horrible moment, paid me another unwelcome visit last night, so today will be lost. The best of times, the worst of times. I understand it now. Bring it back, remember it all, cherish it, and then struggle to banish it forever from my memory. Few will recall the best moment of the...

4 comments 4
Read story

“The Love Machine” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #237

The Love Machine “What we have here is failure to communicate.”                                                                -The Captain, Cool Hand Luke Christian couldn’t communicate his feelings to Roxanne. John Alden wasn’t ...

10 comments 10
Read story

“Johnny Be Goode” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #236

Johnny Be Goode“Hey, Dad. I brought the whole crew with me. We should be able to clean out the basement, the attic, and the garage all in one day.”“Great.”“Great”- often spoken with a tinge of enthusiasm, but even with a normal, nondescript voice, the word connotes something agreeable, pleasing, perhaps even wonderful. Spoken with a hint of sarcasm- not so much.The cleanup crew- son Dave, Dave’s wife Marci, and the three grandchildren: 16-year-old Tom, 14-year-old Debbie, and 9-year-old Ben. The mission- sort through a lifetime of artifacts,...

7 comments 7
Read story

“The Impossible Dream” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #235

The Impossible Dream“I don’t know, Herb, that might be a little too ambitious.”“Aim high, dream big, go for broke, all-in, win or go home, let it all hang out, reach for the stars, shoot the moon…”“Okay, okay, I got it. But a marathon? Herb, you’re not a runner.”“You kidding me, Sally? I ran cross country in high school.”“That was 35 years ago. And it was just your freshman year and you only ran in that one meet. Remember how they had to organize a search party with flashlights to come find you after the race was over?”“The course wasn’t cle...

4 comments 4
Read story

“The Sign” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #234

The Sign“So, when you say about three months, Doc, are you thinking three to four months, or are you more of a two to three months kind of guy?”“Sorry, Fred, it doesn’t work that way. All I can say is you have about three months. That’s been my experience. It’s not an exact science when it comes to that part of it. I had one guy go for a full year, and another guy, he… well, it’s not an exact science. That’s all I can tell you.”A regular refrain Fred had heard from his Dad- “Life isn’t fair; get used to it.” Fred never smoked, never drank, a...

3 comments 3
Read story

“The Greatest Battle That Never Happened” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #232

The Greatest Battle That Never Happened                                                                 “Wine for my men, we ride at dawn.”-       Three Musketeers (Maybe…or?)Tucked ...

3 comments 3
Read story

“Best Intentions” by Murray Burns

Submitted to Contest #231

Best IntentionsEditor's note: The Reedsy format wasn't receptive to the Word cross-outs, so this may appear a bit messy in places.)December 31, 2023Resolutions for the New Year- The beginning of a new and improved Herb Farkowski.      1.    Lose 20  15  10   5 pounds by July 1st   October 1st  December 31st, 2024.-       Accomplish this daring feat with fat-free   fat-reduced   not all-fat die...

9 comments 9
Read story

Author bio

Dartmouth, then Law School followed by years in mind-numbing law practice; now have more time to write. "Brevity is the soul of wit."

Shortlisted 2 stories ⭐️

Contest #195
A Simple Act of Kindness – read story
Contest #170
The Rosary – read story