Dr. Ugs

“THE BATTLE OF THE PUDDLE: An Outsider's Voice Memo Transcription on the Aftermath” by Dr. Ugs

Note: For more context, please give my very first story a read before this :)Well, I had two senior neighbours: Mr. Odd, and Mr. Odder. They lived beside me: Mr. Odd on my left and Mr. Odder on my right.The most normal thing about the both of them was that they liked to watch Westerns.  Mr. Odd was, well, odd.  Day one I moved into my house, the first thing he made clear to me was that he had a beautiful bidet installed in his toilet – the most elegant thing in the house. He told me I was welcome to use it anytime. &...

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“THE BATTLE OF THE PUDDLE: Diary Entry of Sir Clovis Jibbly the Ruthless on the Battle that Came Before ” by Dr. Ugs

I needed to pee. A lot. On a scale of one to ten - off-scale.  But this was a bad time. The worst.  I had always dreamed of becoming a knight and riding into battle. And I had achieved just that, beginning as the lowliest floor scrubber only to rise tall as a royal knight with gleaming armour flashier than the sun. And it could ruin your eyes just as much.  But now, just as the king had declared war up on the hill and gotten us all excited and ready to find the fleshy stuff with our swords, I could only think of...

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“GOD, I NEED A SIGN” by Dr. Ugs

Submitted to Contest #103

Note:The protagonist, along with the rest of the story and plot, is pure fiction and not meant to be offensive in any way towards an individual's religion.I peeled my butt off of the couch and sauntered over to the edge of the cloud to admire my most extraordinary creation ever: humans. They were walking around, happy as ever. Some of them were driving in their own clever inventions – automobiles – and punching the steering wheels to honk at each other. Complimenting each other, I guess.   Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a ...

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“The Good Table” by Dr. Ugs

Submitted to Contest #100

Charlie had black toenails, a lot of money and a big mouth. And that night, he had put on his best suit, his best tie, his best watch and his okay shoes.   At the restaurant, which was a fancy one, they had a dance floor and many big chandeliers which was why Charlie chose it in the first place. His reservation was for five: him and four of his big-mouthed friends. The waiter escorted him to the table.   He sat down and asked, “Why's the wine here already?”  “It’s all free, sir, and all poured out while we set ...

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“THE BATTLE OF THE PUDDLE: All 57 Parts and All That Came Before” by Dr. Ugs

Submitted to Contest #100

Apparently, King Wilbur Bartly the III was having dinner with King Charles Winston the II in his favourite hall, and the main course arrived at the table on an ancient porcelain plate.  "Where should I put this, your majestic majesties?" the servant asked. "Oh yes!" Wilbur clapped. "That’s my favourite! Fried chicken in the middle, please--thank you!" And he continued talking about his many wives as if nothing had happened. King Charles Winston the II was very offended that the other king had mistaken the name of&nbs...

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