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Daniel Rogers

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Mar, 2023

Stories (87)

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263 Following

87 Stories

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Fiddle-dee-dee!

Submitted to Contest #261

The man himself is coming to tell us—Vice President Numb Nuts. He's such a spineless wimp. How did he ever become a vice president? I'll tell you how. It's because Boeing is not what it used to be. That's it. Its current level of incompetence is staggering. I used to be proud to be part of this company, but those days have long vanished. And sitting over there is another reason I've lost confidence: Clark Suck-face Truman. Look at him all smug and confident. I can see what he's thinking. He's such an open book. He's thinking of his thank you...

46 likes

You Kick Really Hard For A Girl

Submitted to Contest #260

"They're coming!" Flimlet yelled.The forest came alive, with magical tree trunks rushing toward the north watchtower. Bells sounded. Women screamed, and children cried. The war they'd been expecting arrived.Selwyn and Jorton soldiers quickly assembled, forming a defensive line. The trunkers slammed into them with devastating effect, knocking many soldiers unconscious. Lady Nimmo and Oakaford gathered as many stumpers as possible and joined the fight. Trunkers hammered into stumpers, and stumpers banged into trunkers. The sound of magical tre...

34 likes

Why Did That Two-legged Pirate Invade My World?

Submitted to Contest #259

Lost. Confused. Scared. Discombobulated. Yes, especially discombobulated. I think. If discombobulated means I'm freaking out that Arrow will be like Jack, then I'm extremely discombobulated. Why did that two-legged pirate invade my world? I was fine before he showed. Happy even. Now?I tried sewing to give myself something else to think about, but after stabbing myself three times, I gave it up. Thinking of Jack was similar to my needle. Both caused stabbing pain. I remember the first stab - a slap across my face. It was mild compared to the ...

34 likes

The Heist Connoisseur

Submitted to Contest #258

I exited the World of Coca-Cola at 2:19 p.m. No sweat, no fear. After all, I've stolen from the greatest museums in the world. That said, my pocket did feel heavier—the one with my phone, which contained a picture of the original Coca-Cola secret formula. Only two senior executives know the formula entirely at any given time. It's that secret. Well, now there are three. I crossed Baker Street onto Centennial Olympic Park. I scanned without appearing to scan and noticed two men in black suits. I increased my pace without drawing attention to ...

39 likes

Not Every Stumper Can be Cute

Submitted to Contest #257

"By Xer-Bane! What are they doing?!" I shouted. Selwyn soldiers were chasing a poor, helpless stumper through the woods. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why our allies would want to harm one of our loveable magic tree stumps. It infuriated me. They were shooting arrows, but the stumper dodged most of them by using trees as shields. I saw a few stuck in him, but they didn't slow him down. From my vantage point, I could see a small gorge hidden by a hill. If I could get there fast enough, perhaps I could hide the stumper in that gorg...

33 likes

Xer-Bane Didn't Bless Dwarfs with Long Legs

Submitted to Contest #256

I was pacing myself, knowing that a cross-country race isn't won by speed but by stamina. It's a good thing, too, since Xer-Bane didn't bless dwarfs with long legs. Suddenly, an elf came from behind and shoulder-checked me. Before regaining my balance, I wobbled and came very close to hitting a tree. "Do that again, and I'll knock that smirk off your face!" I said between breaths. "Gotta catch me first, Phlegm-it!" The windbag yelled. "Flimlet! You pompous, girly-haired nimrod!" I remember seeing this guy before the race, but I have no idea ...

31 likes

Well, You See, We Sorta Like Outside

Submitted to Contest #255

Oakaford, the captain of the Stumper Guard, stood in front of Lady Nimmo's desk with a confused look, hoping Lady Nimmo would change her mind. "Do we have to?" "Don't you want a home? I mean, everyone wants a home," she could hardly believe what she was hearing. She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. It pained Oakaford to see Lady Nimmo frustrated, "Well, you see, we sorta like outside." He nervously tapped his twig fingers on his sides. "But homes are a place of peace and safety. Protection against the elements." She paused on t...

27 likes

The Aroma of Really Good Cooking

Submitted to Contest #254

“So, have you heard?” Splinter asked in hushed tones. The magical stump with a stylish carved beard and a small crack in the middle of his forehead was too gleeful. The kind of glee that only comes from gossip or a joke involving a pulled finger. “I hear lots of things,” Oakaford answered. The captain of the Stumper Guard thought it was a ridiculously easy question, but he was pleased with himself for knowing the correct answer. He nodded, then turned to leave. “Wait! That’s not all.” Splinter grabbed Oakaford’s shoulder. “I mean, have you h...

27 likes

As Easy as Lighting Wet Wood with a Candle

Submitted to Contest #253

"I won't have it," Lady Nimmo said with her hands on her hips. "There has to be another way." The mighty victor over shadow elves and dragons sought an edge in this argument but found none."But there isn't," Trungen said without emotion. "I will hammer the cork into place. You three will sail to the fleet.""I won't leave you behind, and I'm not leaving the stumpers." Battle scenes flashed through her mind. Dragons shooting fire-bolts. Stumpers on fire. A shadow elf slicing her father's face with a knife."The stumpers and I will be fine.""Wit...

35 likes

The Nitwits Around Here are Such a Bore

Submitted to Contest #252

A castle keep is all that remains of an ancient crumbling castle. It overlooks a valley centered on a tiny island surrounded by dragon-infested mountains. The shadow elves brought the Eye of Duran, which they stole from King Moreland of Selwyn, to this keep for safekeeping. The shadow elves allied with the fire-bolt dragons because the Selwyn navy wouldn't have a prayer to follow. The fiery barrage from the dragons would obliterate their ships before they spotted one palm tree. A messenger dragon sent from their fleet out at sea had warned t...

38 likes

You Two Make Horrible Nurses

Submitted to Contest #251

A dragon flew from his nest atop an island mountain to do a little fishing. He reached into the waves and snagged a big one with his back claw, and ascended into the sky. As he did, he saw an odd stick floating in the water. What made it odd was that it was vertical instead of the more acceptable horizontal position. However, his attention quickly returned to his catch as it fiercely struggled to escape. He flew back to his clan's nest, securing the fish with both claws and forgot all about the strange stick in the sea.He would have known it...

40 likes

The Weight-to-Oar Ratio

Submitted to Contest #250

Jorton, the only town allowed in Trungen Forest and home of Lady Nimmo, is having its first secret meeting. Of course, since it's a secret, everyone knows about it. The Stumper Guard deployed to Lady Nimmo's house to prevent eavesdropping. They chased off teenagers from one side of Lady Nimmo's house to find their parents on the other side. When they escorted them away, dwarfs snuck to the back. Everyone pressed to know what the hush-hush was all about.Inside Lady Nimmo's house, the messenger from Selwyn addressed the room containing Lady Ni...

34 likes

Oh, My! Are We About to Get in a Fight?

Submitted to Contest #249

No one would argue that watching is essential when on night watch. That's why it's called night watch instead of night play-around. However, a couple of magical tree stumps guarding the eastern edge of Trungen Forest weren't watching while on night watch."Alright, do that again, but this time with your eyes closed," Splinter said. He was four feet, taller than most stumpers, with a carved beard and a small crack in the middle of his forehead."Are you going to?" Tat asked. Carved from a tree used by lovers to display their undying love, he ha...

37 likes

Persuasion

Submitted to Contest #248

"Dwarfs, don't forget!" Flimlet yelled. He sat alone with a beer mug, his hair disheveled and dirty, and his clothes shabby and stained. The pub was empty, except for a barmaid behind the counter washing dishes. The absence of customers was excusable since it was only ten in the morning. Two weeks had passed since the dwarf had returned from Lord Balister's mine. And during that time, he practically lived here."Do you think I'll forget?" Having no one to argue with, he turned to the wall, daring it to disagree. "I'll never forget! You h...

30 likes

The Howls of the Netterback

Submitted to Contest #247

Lord Balister bounded up the spiral stairs, leaving his guards in the dust. His eyes danced in the torchlight, and he could not suppress a childish smile that stretched from ear to ear. The sun said hello and blinded him for a moment as he exited out onto the battlements. A small army of men, women, and stumpers stood on the ground below. He composed himself before greeting them, his excitement barely contained."Lady Nimmo! It's been too long!" Lord Balister shouted."You know why we're here!"He exaggerated, scratching his head. "I'm sure I d...

31 likes